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Title:Batmantis
Original Air Date:September 30, 1994
Guest Stars:Adam West, Lee Meriwether, Eartha Kitt
Synopsis:A mysterious villain kidnaps Moltar and Space Ghost must solicit the help of Adam West, Lee Meriweather and Eartha Kitt, all from the "Batman" television series, in an effort to save him. And...holy exoskeleton, Space Ghost, it's Zorak as Batmantis!

Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed


Space Ghost (SG):
(laughs) Funny, Adam, what other funny stories can you tell me before we go on the air?
Adam West (AW):
Uh, oh yes, I remember one time with the late Vincent Price, who played Egghead...
SG:
Yeah.
AW:
We were in the cliff-hanger on the show, and, uh, we were supposed to be in an egg fight, Robin and I, with Egghead. Well, the prop guys had brought probably eight-- (Space Ghost dozes off, monitor goes blank)
SG:
(wakes up) Ehhh... Well? Okay! We're back with Bobcat Goldthwait. What? Where am I? Moltar, what happened to the feed? Did I fall asleep, Zorak?
Zorak (Z):
Yeah.
SG:
Moltar, get the feed back! Sorry. Was I snoring or anything?
Z:
You were drooling.
SG:
Oooow... Moltar, what are you doing? Moltar! Now I'm punchy. (Invisos to the control room; Moltar isn't there. He reads a note on Moltar's screen) "If you ever want to see Moltar again, surrender your power bands and give me control of the universe. If you don't comply, Moltar will be resickled, recycled. Signed, Your Mother." Hmmm...
Z:
Holy stolen lava, Space Ghost, Moltar's been kidnapped!
SG:
Right you are, my little green friend. An evil ploy by Your Mother. (flies back to desk)
Z:
Your mother.
SG:
No, not my mom, somebody else's mom. Someone's sick and deranged mom.
Z:
Oh.
SG:
Zorak, we'll need help. I'll scan the Space Frequency Demodulator with my Remote Control Ray to find Batman. Restricted.
Z:
You do that... (echo effect) I am becoming...
Announcer (A):
Meanwhile, at the bandstand, a hideous mutation rears its ugly head. So hideous, that it must be censored. (explosion)
Batmantis (B):
I shiver with power. I ache with disease. I am Batmantis! ("Batman" music & sound effects begin in background)
SG:
Aaaa! (starts to fire at Batmantis)
B:
Wait! (balloon with "Blap!")
SG:
Oh, it's you! Good costume. Look! Shoot a ray, and you get a word. (shoots ray, gets balloon with "Obvious Parody!")
B:
Shoot an adjective.
SG:
(shoots ray, gets "Insipid!")
B:
Shoot a proper noun!
SG:
(shoots ray, gets "Kenny Rogers!")
B:
Shoot the theory of evolution!
SG:
(shoots ray, gets three paragraphs of unreadable text) Look into the eyes of justice, Your Mother. You'll never get my power bands, savvy? Batmantis and I will fight you to the end.
B:
I must go to the control room.
SG:
To get butter and cheese?
B:
No, to find Moltar.
SG:
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
(Transition effect & music)
(Lee Meriwether appears on monitor)
SG:
Lee Meriwether! (sting music)
Lee Meriwether (LM):
(laughs)
SG:
You were Catwoman, weren't you?
LM:
Yes, a long, long time ago. (laughs)
SG:
I'm looking for Batman, but maybe you can help me too.
LM:
I beg your pardon?
SG:
Moltar's been kidnapped, and I must save him.
LM:
Oh, dear, the pity.
SG:
Will you work with me, Lee?
LM:
It would be thrilling, I, I, I'll take on, I'll take on the job if you really think I could.
SG:
I do. I'll send you up to Batmantis.
LM:
Okay. (laughs)
SG:
Have you ever met Batmantis?
LM:
I haven't, but I can hardly wait!
(Transition effect and music)
B:
(In the control room) Lee Meriwether!
LM:
Oh, is that it?
B:
Afraid?
LM:
(laughs)
B:
Moltar's been stolen!
LM:
Well, I don't think you have to worry or fear, because, um, uh, we have two great caped crusaders, Batman and...
B:
I am Batmantis! Say it with me, Bat-Mantis!
LM:
Oh dear!
SG:
(back in the studio) Moltar, can you hear me? Are you there, son?
AW:
Yes, hello, hello.
SG:
Great, you're back, Adam!
AW:
You're talking to me?
SG:
Ahem! I mean, Bruce Wayne. (in low voice) I know you're really Batman, (in normal voice again) but can I call you Adam, Adam?
AW:
Sure, if you want to blow my cover, Tad.
SG:
Look, Your Mother's taken Moltar. Become Batman and help me.
AW:
No.
SG:
Come on, I need your super-powers.
AW:
Uh, I have none.
SG:
What!
AW:
I'm just a little crazy, obsessed with fighting crime, but I have no super-powers.
SG:
So, your whole life is a lie.
AW:
Wherever I find it, I fight crime, and there is a crime here today, I see.
SG:
No kidding.
AW:
(they stare at each other for a while, then Adam holds up book he wants to plug) Look, look!
SG:
That's nice. Listen, if I use my mask in combination with my
AW:
Yes, all the answers, all the answers are here in my new book.
SG:
All the answers?
AW:
Yes, all the answers. (laughing)
SG:
Will you beam me a copy right now?
AW:
Yes, if you'll take me to lunch somewhere in the universe.
SG:
No time for lunch, Adam. Gimme the book.
AW:
No.
SG:
Gimme the book!
AW:
No.
SG:
(pause) You wimp. Well, I won't have to fight Your Mother alone. I have a Batmantis.
AW:
I have a Robin.
SG:
I have a Batmantis.
AW:
I have a Robin, Space Ghost.
SG:
You, sir, have nothing. You've been cancelled.
AW:
Shut up, Space Ghost.
SG:
I'm still on the air. I'll fight without you.
AW:
Good. I'll be here when you get back.
SG:
(pause) Yeah.
AW:
Am I a difficult guest?
SG:
No, you're a prince! (telephone starts ringing)
AW:
Are you disappointed?
SG:
A call on the space feed! I have to go, Adam, er, Batman, I mean, Bruce. Whatever!
AW:
Is this-- (zaps off screen, replaced by Your Mother)
Your Mother (YM):
Space Ghost!
SG:
Who are you?
YM:
I am Your Mother! (sting music)
SG:
You are not!
YM:
Heed my will, surrender your power bands to me at once!
SG:
You're not my mom!
YM:
Yes I am!
SG:
Are not!
YM:
Yes I am!
SG:
What have you done with Moltar, you harlot?
YM:
He's locked in a sub-zero vaporizing cabinet, where he'll catch his death. (sting music)
SG:
My God, woman, that'll kill him!
YM:
Eat your peas.
SG:
No! (sting music)
YM:
Clean your room!
SG:
Uh uh! (sting music) [Hey, this thing in the monitor is not my mother] (more sting music) [My room was always clean. Must think of a plan...]
B:
(back in control room) You are not Catwoman, Julie Newmar is Catwoman.
LM:
Julie was our first Catwoman. And then I came in and did the movie...
B:
Julie's better.
LM:
Well, Eartha, for my money, was the best Catwoman.
B:
Gimme your money! (sting music)
LM:
I beg your pardon?
B:
Gimme your money! (sting music)
LM:
Oh, I see. (laughs) Actually, that, that was very good.
B:
You mock me? (sting music) Purr like a cat!
LM:
Oh, please, the children! (laughs)
SG:
(back in the studio) Listen up, you parasite, I've joined forces with Batmantis and we'll bring you down!
YM:
Batmantis is no match for me!
SG:
No one's a match for you, you harlot! Tell me where Moltar is!
YM:
Repent, Space Ghost. Mourn for the frozen, in five minutes I'll pull the freeze lever, and Moltar becomes glacierized. Or, you surrender your power bands. I await your decision. Don't be late now! (hangs up)
A:
Will Space Ghost surrender his power bands and save Moltar from Your Mother? Will Adam West come to his aid or will he wimp out? Will every word Batmantis says be followed by that suspenseful sting music? What will happen next? Why is the sky blue? What is the mystery of the Yeti? (says "Hi") Do you know the Muffin Man? Stay tuned to find out!
:INTERRUPT FEED
:START FEED
A:
When we last left him, Batmantis was having a heart-to-heart with Lee Meriwether, and Space Ghost was being bullied by Your Mother.
YM:
Surrender your power bands, Space Ghost. I await your decision. (hangs up)
AW:
Do you have any other questions? (sting music)
SG:
Adam, go peddle your book somewhere else!
AW:
All right, let me open the book, and read. "Dark ominous clouds hung over the..."
AW:
Adam, see you at the auto show. (zaps him off screen)
Eartha Kitt (EK):
R-r-r-r-aow!
SG:
Meow!
EK:
You mean "r-r-r-r-aow!"
SG:
Meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow! (subtitles, with bouncing dot: "Eartha Kitt, join my forces to save Moltar.")
EK:
What planet are you on?
SG:
Ghost Planet.
EK:
Well, how does it feel to be on a ghost planet?
SG:
It feels like Wednesday every day!
EK:
That's interesting.
SG:
Adam West refuses to become Batman and help me.
EK:
(laughs) But I think that's why he was chosen to be Batman, because it's a sort of non-nothing character.
SG:
And he's shallow. Zorak, however, has become Batmantis, and he's more apt to help me.
EK:
Oh, once a bug, always a bug.
SG:
Shhhh, he's right upstairs.
EK:
Oh, I see, okay.
SG:
Let me fill you in...
B:
(back in the control room) Look into my eyes.
LM:
No.
B:
Look into my eyes!
LM:
You need a, a lobotomy.
B:
(looks shocked)
SG:
(back in the studio) And since Adam bailed out, we could use some help.
EK:
Yeah, I, well, I don't even think I'll be that interested in any form or fashion.
SG:
Is Catwoman a fraidy-cat?
EK:
Oh, well, I don't know about that.
SG:
How about I call you Chicken Woman?
EK:
Well, I'm not very fond of the title...
SG:
You're all alike, you Catwomen. Tease tease tease.
EK:
Yeah, I feel very feline all the time.
SG:
Quit workin' it.
EK:
So I feel as though I'm slithering...
SG:
Cut the act, sister!
EK:
Particularly when I see a man, you know, I want to sort of slither into his arms.
SG:
I -- Really?
EK:
(image zaps off, and is replaced by Your Mother)
YM:
Time's up, Space Ghost. Your lolly-gagging kills your friend. Watch as I pull the freeze lever.
SG:
Noooooo!!! Moltaaaaar!!!
(Space Ghost wakes up, Adam West is on the screen and talking)
SG:
... Moltar... huh?
Moltar (M):
Hey, Space Ghost, I'm trying to work here.
SG:
Moltar, is that really you?
M:
In the flesh, if I had flesh.
SG:
Aww, Moltar! And Zorak!
Z:
And what?
SG:
I had the most awful dream! Let's have a bake sale.
(Credits roll)
Z:
What are these?
M:
Butterscotch haystacks.
Z:
Gross!
SG:
What's in these ladyfingers, Moltar?
M:
Lady fingers.
Z:
Are you gonna look, or are you gonna buy?
SG:
Zorak!
M:
I don't like oatmeal cookies, they make me go.
SG:
These look like fig newt-- hey, you didn't bake these!
(Dramatic sting music)

GUEST STARS
Adam West
Lee Meriwether
Eartha Kitt
WRITER
Matthew Maiellaro
EDITOR
Michael Cahill
ORIGINAL MUSIC
Sonny Sharrock
Eddie Horst
MUSICIANS
Sonny Sharrock
Lance Carter
Eddie Horst
Alfrieda Gerald
VOICES
George Lowe
C. Martin Croker
Jacqueline Jusko
DESIGN COMPANY
DESIGNefx
POST PRODUCTION FACILITIES
BRICK HOUSE editorial
ON-LINE EDITOR
Dan Daube
AUDIO ENGINEER
Jay Yeary
ANIMATION DIRECTOR
C. Martin Croker
TALENT COORDINATOR
Tanya Bergan
PRODUCTION ASSISTANT
Matt Harrigan
SPECIAL THANKS
Hanna-Barbera
CNN
Fred Seibert
Ken Chamberlain
Dave Farmer
(inverted) Tom Roche
Butterbean
Jeff Barron
Dave Dubiel
Roy Clements
ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN
Alex Toth
PRODUCER
Khaki Jones
PRODUCER
Andy Merrill
SENIOR PRODUCER
Keith Crofford
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Michael Lazzo

© 1994 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.


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