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|Original Air Date:||October 10, 1997|
|Guest Stars:||Ice-T, Ernie-C, Fred Willard|
Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed
(Space Ghost and Zorak are dining, classical music plays in the background)
Zorak: Mmm! These watercress sandwiches are splendid!
Space Ghost: Do you like them? I made them with extra water.
Zorak: So that's the secret!
Space Ghost: I've composed some light verse to accompany our reverie. Shall I recite it?
Zorak: That would be divine.
Space Ghost: A bug on a rug
Drank from a mug.
I felt a tug.
(pause, squeaks mug)
Give me a hug.
Zorak: I adore the rhyme scheme.
Space Ghost: Let us engage in a spirited philosophical debate. Is morality an absolute or a relative societal construct?
Zorak: It's absolute. You're either good, or evil.
Space Ghost: There are no absolutes, the cold hand of science has shown us that. (sips from his mug) My friend, it appears we disagree.
Zorak: Then let us agree to disagree. (laughs)
Space Ghost: Well stated. A toast, to civility and restraint.
Moltar: More tea, m'lady?
Zorak: Why, yes, how lovely. (sips from his mug)
Space Ghost: Moltar, where are the cakes? The dainty cakes.
Moltar: Dainty cakes?
Space Ghost: Where are they?
Moltar: I bought 'em! I had 'em in the car! I, I swear! Sh- she handed 'em right to me. I, I had the dainty cakes right in the car! Nooooo!!!!
(Screen morphs back to Moltar in control room)
Moltar: (wakes up, panting) Ooooh, what a nightmare!
(Opening theme & titles)
Space Ghost: (invisos in) Greetings! I'm Space Ghost. Here's the deal. I've got a behind, it's super-heroic, and I'm about to shake it.
Zorak: I'd rather you didn't.
Moltar: Why are we even doing this?
Space Ghost: Evil villains, stand down from the funk. Tonight, I'm gonna tear it up, and break it down, with my favorite extended dance mixes.
Moltar: That still doesn't answer the question.
Space Ghost: Come on, Moltar, all the kids are dancin'! (high funky voice, with echo) It's electrifyin'! (end echo) Now put the needle on the record.
Moltar: (grumbles to himself, throws lever; needle drops to record, dance music plays)
Space Ghost: It's time for my (high voice) Soooooo-looo Dance Party. (neon-style titles superimposed on screen: SOLO DANCE PARTY) Y'all ready for this? (dances at his desk) Come on, come on!
Zorak: (glares at Space Ghost)
Space Ghost: Come on, Zorak, this is outta sight, man!
Zorak: You dance like a woman.
Space Ghost: (record scratch sound, music stops) I dance like a woman, if she were a man.
Zorak: Well, you got me there.
Space Ghost: I command all viewers to welcome my first guests, Mr.Ice-T and Mr. Ernie-C. Together, they're my first guests.
(Monitor lowers with Ice-T and Ernie-C)
Ernie-C: Hello, how are you?
Ice-T: What's up, Space?
Space Ghost: Space is up, T, way up! And, way out! Observe my outer space jig! Moltar?
Moltar: (grumbles again, throws lever, needle drops again, more dance music)
Space Ghost: (doing funky hand moves) E-lec-tronic, au-to-matic. How d'ya like this action, Ice-T?
Ice-T: It's all good, Space baby.
Space Ghost: (dancing again) Yeah, they never let me do this in the action show.
(Screen morph flashback to original Space Ghost cartoon)
Space Ghost: I have vanquished you, lizard slavers. And now, behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie. (dance music starts, Space Ghost boogies)
Lizard Slaver 1: No, please, not the victory boogie!
Lizard Slaver 2: The cosmic gyrations will destroy the ship!
(Rest of lizard slavers hold their hands to their heads and scream)
Space Ghost: Doin' the butt! Heyyy... pret-tay, pret-tay!
(Screen morphs back to Space Ghost at his desk)
Space Ghost: Oh, Iced Tea, you are a sweet and refreshing beverage.
Ice-T: I am very sweet and refreshin'. (laughs)
Space Ghost: I'm not talkin' about you, I'm speaking in general.
Ice-T: That's right.
Ernie-C: Very cool, very cool.
Ice-T: What's up, Zorak? My man.
Zorak: (eyes swirling, with eerie sound effects; tries to control Ice-T's mind) (Ice-T! You will hook up Zorak with some fly honeys!)
Ice-T: (appears to be in a trance)
Space Ghost: Ice-T. Ice-T. Wake up!
Ice-T: That was cool, Zorak, that was cool, hit me 'gain, that was cool.
Zorak: Just remember what I said.
Space Ghost: Want me to blast the little pit spawn?
Ice-T: That's how you do, Space Ghost, you just go around killin' and blastin' ...
Ice-T: Space Ghost, just don't blast us!
Space Ghost: Why not? It's electrifyin'.
Ice-T: Do Ernie.
Space Ghost: Oh, okay. (aims power bands)
Ernie-C: Ho-, ho-, hold...
Space Ghost: I'm only playing, I'm only playing. What are you, you're mad at me now.
Ernie-C: No, no, I don't even like the word "destructo". (laughs)
Space Ghost: Free-style for me, Ice Ice baby.
Ice-T: You see my name's SG, and the place to be, representin' with Ice-T and Ernie-C.
Space Ghost: (raps badly) Why I'm SG, and it's plain to see, that I'm SG, and my name is SG.
Ice-T: (laughs) That was cool.
Ernie-C: That was interestin'.
Zorak: (eyes swirling again, with sound effects, etc.) (Just a little mental note...)
Zorak: (Reminding you about those fly honeys.)
Ice-T: Zorak was messin' with my brain again, what're you do...
Space Ghost: Hey, Ice-T, check it, buddy. (dances again, panting, humming to himself. Ice-T, Ernie-C and Zorak stare at him)
Ice-T: Come on, Ghost, come on, man, you gotta, you gotta do better'n that.
Space Ghost: Don't take that tone of voice with me, young man!
Ice-T: Yes, sir.
Space Ghost: Hey, Moltar! Kick it!
Moltar: (throws lever, rock music plays)
Ernie-C: I hear somethin'.
Zorak: Oooh, this rocks!
Space Ghost: Hold on, I can't dance to this.
Zorak: Play it backwards!
Space Ghost: No, don't! Something scary could happen!
Moltar: (throws lever, music starts playing backwards; a ghost flies out of his monitor) Eaaaaah! A ghost! (runs away)
Space Ghost: Moltar, what's goin' on?
(Ghost flies out of control room)
Space Ghost: (talking to Moltar, who is standing next to his desk) What's wrong?
Moltar: I wanna be out here with you.
Zorak: He's frightened of ghosts!
Moltar: (whimpering) Moltar fears nothing! Nothing!
Zorak: He fears what he cannot understand.
Space Ghost: That ghost isn't gonna hurt you.
Ice-T: Bring him in here so I can smack 'em.
Moltar: But... but...
Ernie-C: One time.
Space Ghost: See, Mr. T and his friend Ernie aren't afraid of the ghost.
Zorak: Yeah, Moltar, it just wants to possess your soul!
Moltar: (as ghost flies by) No!!
Ice-T: (to ghost) Peace, ghost. (waves)
Space Ghost: Get outta here!
Moltar: No! Wha!!
Zorak: (evil laugh)
Space Ghost: You don't have to be crazy to work here... (punchline intro music) But it helps! (punchline outro music) Stop it!
Space Ghost: (to Moltar, in control room) But I keep telling you, I'm a ghost, you're not afraid of me, are you?
Moltar: Arggh, no! I hate you, hate and fear are two different things.
Space Ghost: (floating, makes "scary" sound) Aaaaaaaaaaaaa! Are you frightened?
Moltar: Uh, no. I think I just told you, I hate you?
Zorak: (on control room monitor) Hey, what, are you guys slow dancin' in there? I wanna go home. (monitor shows text:)
Space Ghost: (invisos back to desk, lounge music is playing) Yes, as a matter of fact, we were. And speaking of were, please welcome funny man Fred Willard.
Fred Willard: (appears on monitor) My name is Fred Willard, and in earth terms, I am an actor, and, uh, I've been in some movies and television series...
Space Ghost: Let's talk about your days at "Real People." Now, there's a show!
Fred Willard: Oh, yeah, now, now that was fun.
Space Ghost: How did you determine if a person was real or an android?
Moltar: Yeah, did you rip their face off and check their circuitry?
Fred Willard: Uh, this is getting a little technical for me...
Space Ghost: Then let's change the subject to me. You know, I'm a superhero...
Fred Willard: That's right, and I, I, you are a hero, and I always wanted to play a, a hero. And I think, I think I played a hero once, I think I played Batman in a stage revue in Chicago...
Space Ghost: I won't have that man's name mentioned on my show! He still owes me for that dinner I bought him at R. J. McGoodtimes. (quietly) I oughta tell everybody he's Bruce Wayne.
Fred Willard: Oh dear, okay.
Moltar: Tansut, you hear that? Batman's Bruce Wayne!
Tansut: Wow! You think you know a guy.
Zorak: (eyes swirling yet again, with sound effects, etc.) (Fred Willard, you will hook Zorak up with some fly...) Ih... Never mind.
Space Ghost: Fred, I got a notion to put my butt in motion. Moltar!! (monitor shows text:)
SEARCHING WHAT'S MINE
Moltar: (pulls lever, disco music plays)
Space Ghost: (dances again) Come on, Fred, sing along!
Fred Willard: I'm game, I'm up for it. (music stops)
Moltar: (rustling noise) Whaa!!
Space Ghost: Moltar! What's happening now?
Moltar: The ghost is back! (Ghost flies to Zorak's keyboard pod)
Zorak: Stop scrunchin' me! This is my work area! (Ghost flies through Zorak & flies off) Hey! You got my soul! Gimme back my soul! (bounces off after ghost)
Space Ghost: Say, I'll bet Zorak doesn't have a "ghost" of a chance (punch line music). Get it, Fred?
Fred Willard: Sure, sure. Now, we're not gonna be, beamed back to earth without mentioning my movie, are we?
Space Ghost: It's all about you, isn't it, Fred?
Fred Willard: Uh... (smiles)
Space Ghost: Well...
Fred Willard: Well, it takes place in this small, uh, midwestern town, and we're a small time amateur theatrical group that puts on... (Zorak walks in front of the camera; Fred continues to talk in the background, but is drowned out by Space Ghost and Zorak)
Space Ghost: Back already, Zorak? Did you get your soul back?
Zorak: (mocking) No, I didn't. Did you get your brain back?
Space Ghost: That's your worst line ever.
Fred Willard: ... and we find out this gentleman called Guffman may come to see us from uh, Broadway producers, I think it comes out in January, and I think you'll enjoy it.
Space Ghost: (pause) Ah ha!! Now that's an anecdote!
Fred Willard: Uh, which one?
Zorak: (spooky sounds) He's baaaack!
Space Ghost: Away with you, spirit! Hang on a minute, Fred.
Fred Willard: That's fine, that's fine. I'm in no hurry.
Space Ghost: There's only room for one ghost in this studio, and it's not the ghost that's not me!
Fred Willard: Alright.
Space Ghost: (blasts ghost with destructo ray; a note flutters to the ground at Space Ghost's feet) Holy Schnikes! That ghost was carrying a note! (picks up note) It says: (sniff) I just wanted to shake it. One time. (sniff) Sincerely, A Ghost.
Fred Willard: Oh!
Moltar: (mock sincerity) If I'd known that, maybe I wouldn't have been so scared.
Zorak: (distraught) I never got my fly honeys! (gets big anime eyes & cries; his tear sizzles when it hits the ground)
Space Ghost: Fred Willard, this is all your fault! I order you to give the ghost a touching eulogy.
Fred Willard: Ah! And, um, yes, he's done a lot of wonderful... stuff, am I saying the right thing?
Space Ghost: Eh, who cares? Let's dance! Moltar! Hit me with another one of those block rockin' beats!
Moltar: (pulls lever, disco music plays, monitor shows text:)
Space Ghost: (dances again; Fred looks disgusted, then credits roll) Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho! (over and over and over)
Moltar: The only thing that scares me more than ghosts is coming to terms with my grief.
Tansut: Oh, suck it up, fatty!
Space Ghost: (groan)
(inverted) Tom Roche
C. Martin Croker
Big Deal Cartoons
C. Martin Croker
C. Martin Croker
David M. Strandquest
|INK AND PAINT|
|SPACE GHOST'S MALE SECRETARY|
|ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN|
© 1997 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
Click here to view the episode on the Adult Swim site.
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