Brak Radio Interview

Original Broadcast Date: February 22, 1997, 9:30 - 11:30pm EST
on the Pete Davis Show, on 105.7 FM WGST in Atlanta, GA

NOTE: Click on the icons below for audio excerpts from the interview. All audio files are .WAV format, sampled at 8000Hz mono.

Announcer:Are you ready? Pete Davis, tonight!

(Prerecorded: Brak sings "I Love Beans")

Brak:Here's a lovely song about my favorite food.

Lima, lentil, soy and pinto,
Navy, northern, and garbanzo,
Kidneys and frijoles negros,
I love beans!

I love beans, woo woo woo!
I love beans, how 'bout you?
High in fiber, low in fat,
Hey, I betcha didn't know that!

When I eat beans,
I sit in my own little cloud,
Nobody comes to visit me,
In my little cloud.

I don't know why, maybe 'cause I'm cuttin' muffins. Because,

I love beans, hey hey hey!
I love beans, every day!
Beans are an excellent source of protein,
I love beans, DINKY-DOO!

(Intro music: "These Boots are Made for Walkin'", by Nancy Sinatra; volume fades as DJ starts talking)

Pete Davis:Welcome back, 404-367-WGST, 1-800-FON-WGST, and it was on this date, in 1966, she got a gold record for that. Maybe Brak will sing a little bit of that when he gets here, and frankly, we're lookin' out the window here, it's pitch dark, north Atlanta, and we see him comin' in, here we go, I think Brak is comin' in... (space ship sounds gradually get louder) You can hear the space ship's outside here. It is strange, that there is something right behind him... (space weapon sounds begin) Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, looks like he's being hit!
Jeremy:Sweet baby Jesus!
Pete Davis:He's in a dog fight, it's Zorak behind him, shootin' him down!
Jeremy:He's been hit! (mumbling in background) Here he comes! (crashing sounds)
Pete Davis:Ooh, I hope he's all right! (sounds fade out) Gees, awful quiet there. Crashed right into the building, right next to the studio. The super's gonna be... (sound of space ship door opening) Wait a minute, stairwell's opening!
Brak: Hey, Pete! I will- oh, wha, (stumbles and falls) Ouch! Ow! Eee! Oh! Ow! (more falling sound effects) Oh, my bohunkus! (space sound effects in background)
Pete Davis:Oh, that's gotta hurt! (laughs) That's gonna leave a mark!
Jeremy:Oh! Ah!
Pete Davis:Joining us in the studio here, is the lovely and talented Brak from, uh, Cartoon Planet. Brak, how ya doin' there, sir?
Brak:Owwww! Ouch!
Pete Davis:(laughing) How's your, how's your bohunkus?
Brak:Somebody, get me a band-aid! Somebody get me something to... I scraped my arm!
Pete Davis:How's your bohunkus?
Brak: Oh, my bohunkus. Throbbing like the band.
Pete Davis:What is a bohunkus?
Jeremy:Ya gotta share that!
Brak:My posterior.. end. That's the bottom part, you know what I'm talkin' about!
Pete Davis:Yeah, I can see, I can see, there's a rip in your, uh, your, I've never seen you from the waist down before, I didn't know the uniform went down, thank God that it does, but there's a big hole in there now, you see that, Jeremy?
Jeremy:No, I'm not gonna look either. I remember that canned ham thing.
Pete Davis:Thanks for joining us tonight, Brak.
Brak:Oh boy, I didn't know how to respond to that!
Pete Davis:(laughing) So, it looks like Zorak chased you all the way from Cartoon Planet, is he mad at you, you stole the Phantom Cruiser?
Brak:Well, you know I think he's mad because I didn't, I didn't actually steal it, Space Ghost said, "Well, here, have the keys", and I said, "All right, buddy!" So I, like, started it up and went to town! (laughs) And Zorak said, "I'm really mad!" So he, like, followed me here and like--
Jeremy:(Zorak voice) Liar!
Brak:(laughs) No, not lyin'.
Pete Davis:Well, Zorak hopefully has left the building here, you gotta, we played your little "Beans" song there before you came in, and that's a lovely, what possessed you to write a song about beans?
Brak:It's my favorite food. Besides, um, baloney wrapped wieners.
Pete Davis:(laughs) Which goes well with beans!
Brak:With American cheese.
Pete Davis:Well, what does the phrase "cuttin' muffins" mean? I'm a little confused about...
Brak:Well, you know, I don't want to raise a stink. Get it? I don't, I don't get it. Oh boy.
Pete Davis:(laughing) Ohhh, wait a minute, you gotta... anyway...
Brak:My end.
Pete Davis:Hoo! Well, we got us a lady that wants to talk to you, Brak, you wanna, you wanna take some phone calls here?
Pete Davis:All right. Joanne in Virginia Highlands, you're on 105.7 FM WGST. Joanne!
Caller 1:Hey, how are you?
Pete Davis:Pretty good!
Caller 1:Hey Braky Wacky!
Brak:Hey Joanney, uh, Woanney! (rim shot) Pa dum dum! Thanks for the rim shot.
Pete Davis:You're welcome.
Caller 1:Hey Brak, I wanna know, um, how much do they pay you for being stupid?
Pete Davis:(gasps) She just...
Brak:How much do they pay me?
Caller 1:That's right...
Brak:You mean I should be paid? Man, I'm feeling gypped now!
Caller 1:Alright, in that case I won't change my current profession, 'cause I thought, you know, if you actually got a good salary for being stupid...
Pete Davis:(laughs) What do you, what are you calling stupid?
Brak:...not gonna share that with you! (laughs) Hoo boy! (rim shot) No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that ...
Pete Davis:Yes you did.
Brak:... I didn't mean to be disrespectful, ma'am.
Caller 1:That's okay, Brak, I understand, there's not much up there.
Pete Davis:D', do you not like Brak?
Caller 1:No, I love Brak, I have a cat who looks just like Brak.
Caller 1:Yes.
Brak:Does he wear a mask?
Caller 1:Um, yeah, he does, yeah, he's orange like you.
Brak:Run around the house eating hot dogs?
Caller 1:Yeah, and, and he gets pretty whiffy.
Brak:Does he burp?
Caller 1:He burps, yup.
Pete Davis:(laughs)
Brak:What's his... (laughs) What's his name?
Caller 1:His name is Mars.
Brak:Mars the burping cat. (everyone laughs) I'll bet that's a sight.
Caller 1:It's pretty disgusting.
Pete Davis:Can you bring Mars down, show him to us?
Caller 1:I, I don't think so.
Brak:Then how do we know he exists?
Caller 1:Well, I'll send you a picture.
Jeremy:(Zorak voice) Liar!
Caller 1:I'll send you a picture of Mars.
Pete Davis:Alright, Joanne.
Caller 1:Alright.
Pete Davis:Thanks for playing.
Caller 1:Thank you, bye bye.
Pete Davis:Thanks for coming by. There's a parting gift for you at the door here. Well, tell us a little about yourself, Brak, where are you from, what planet are you from?
Brak:I forget.
Pete Davis:(laughs) That radiation half lobotomized you.
Brak:I forget, um, my brother Sisto and I would go around, and we would, we would loot and pillage all these planets, and I've been around out in space for so long that I forget.
Pete Davis:Where does Sisko live? I mean, you don't, you don't talk about him there much.
Pete Davis:Sisto. How d'you spell that?
Brak:He lives in Idaho.
Pete Davis:Idaho.  (laughs)
Pete Davis:(laughs) Well, is Space Ghost a slave driver to work for?
Brak:No, he's a dear! He's a lovely man!
Pete Davis:But you just said he doesn't pay you.
Brak:I, he doesn't. I'm there voluntarily, see? It's, it's like I'm, I'm the Charlie Cheswick, from "Cuckoo's Nest", of, uh, the show, 'cause I'm, I'm there, voluntarily. I can come and go as I please, but Zorak, uh, is in the shackles, and can't leave.
Pete Davis:Why doesn't Space Ghost zap you like he zaps Zorak?
Brak:'Cause I'm not animated to explode! (rim shot) (everyone laughs)
Pete Davis:We've got Rob in Marietta, y'all on 105.7 FM WGST, you have something for Brak?
Caller 2:I was gonna, uh, share my favorite Brak moment with Brak.
Caller 2:Yes. (in Brak voice) It goes like this:
Brak:What's the matter with your voice? (everyone laughs)
Caller 2:There once was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Brak:Oh boy.
Caller 2:Right in the middle of her forehead,
Caller 2:And when she was good,
She was very very good,
And when she was bad, she was horrid.

That doesn't make any sense. They could have said, "forehead, doorhead", or "forehead, don't go to the storehead", or...
Brak:You know, once I went down to the store, and I got this big pickle. And I said, "Hey, what are ya doin'?" And he said, "I'm a pickle." So what do you say to that? (everyone laughs)
Caller 2:(still in Brak voice) I don't know, that radiation half lobotomized me.
Brak:(laughs) Okay! Well, Rob.
Pete Davis:Okay! Alright, Rob. Thanks for sharing.
Caller 2:I have too much time on my hands.
Pete Davis:Can you write, write us a Nascar poem.
Brak:No, it's wonderful, I'd, I'm in love with you, Rob. Be the same person you are, and you'll... go far.
Caller 2:(laughs)
Pete Davis: Bye, Rob. Hey, how is the love life, Brak, for an evil space cat?
Brak:Well, let me tell ya... I, it's not good.
Pete Davis:(laughs) Are you hetero, uh...
Brak:Well, what are you tryin' to say?
Pete Davis:No, I was just, you know, you're from space, I don't know...
Brak:Yes. I am.
Pete Davis:Oh, okay...
Brak:I like, you know, to go out on dates and stuff, it just, doesn't happen that much.
Pete Davis:Is there a lot of women on Cartoon Planet?
Brak:Oh, no. There's no women on Cartoon Planet, there's just Space Ghost and Zorak and me.
Pete Davis:Gets kinda, you know, randy in there at times, doesn't it?
Brak:Who's Randy? That's our next caller! Wow! Hey! What a segueway!
Pete Davis:(laughs) Well, Randy's gonna have to wait, 'cause it's sports time...
Announcer:(intro music in background) This is a 20-50 sports update, on News Radio WGST.
Pete Davis:And it looks like Jeremy has been replaced...
Jeremy:(in background) Hey!
Pete Davis: ... Our new sports guy is Brak, with the sports.
Brak: Okay, the Atlanta Hawks have the day off from the NBA action! Last night they capitalized on eight turnovers in the fourth quarter by Golden State to beat the Warriors a hundred and six to a hundred! Boy oh boy! Uh, Mookie Blaylock helped -- oh oh! Mookie Blaylock, he gave the Hawks a five point lead with 46 seconds left in the game. Blaylock -- I like saying that -- also had two steals and had two free throws during the Atlanta 10-4 game. Blabbity blah blah blah. The Georgia Tech Yellowjackets are in Winston-Salem tonight, to take on the number 5 West Forest Demon Deacons. Not a good start for Tech -- look at that, what are they doin'? They're down 6 to 2! Every, early in the first, what are they doin'? Stupid, stupid Tech, stupid! I'm disgusted! I'm not readin' any more of this! Wait a minute... where's Dikembe Mutombo? Oh! I like sayin' that one, too. Yeah.
Pete Davis:(laughs) Is that, is that the sports?
Brak:That's the sports.

(Prerecorded Brak: "That was so beautiful, (whispering) that was so beautiful!")

Arsenio Hall:(prerecorded) Hi this is Arsenio Hall, listenin' to Pete Davis on news radio WGST, where you got to get your news!
(Prerecorded: Space Ghost Coast to Coast excerpt)

Space Ghost:Uh, well, besides that star-studded line-up, we've added oodles of exciting new features to our show.
Zorak:What a load of...
Space Ghost:What's that, Zorak? What are these loads of excitement? Well, for starters, we have a live studio audience here in the studio! Completely live! (applause, booing) We'll also be taking your live calls and questions...
Brak: (sings along to Eleanor Rigby) Look at all the lonely people! Deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle,
Mother McCready, sittin' in church, with her hands in the ...
Pete Davis:You know, it's George Harrison's birthday...
Brak:Oh, it is?
Pete Davis:... and if he was dead, if he was dead, he'd be spinning in his grave.
Brak:He didn't write that song anyway.
Pete Davis:You know, that's true, that's true, he didn't, we're joined by Brak...
Brak:It's called "Mother McCready".
Pete Davis: "Mother McCready", (laughs) lonely people. Ohhh- Before we get to the phones here, I gotta ask you, what's your position on cloning? All the cloning is in the news...
Brak:Hey, you know, I, I've been cloned.
Pete Davis:You've been cloned?
Brak:Yes, I saw my clone the other day, and I said, I walked up to him, and I said, "Hey! You're, you're a handsome man." And he, you know what he said to me?
Pete Davis:No.
Brak:You know what he said? (studio sound bite: "Ba-a-a-a!") (rim shot) I don't get it! I don't know where that came from.
Pete Davis:(laughing) Oh, I think it's time to go to the phones here, it was Randy, right?
Brak:It was Randy.
Pete Davis:Randy in Fayetteville, you're on 105.7 FM WGST with Brak.
Caller 3:Hey, don't I at least get a rim shot for the way you worked my name into that? (rim shot)
Brak:Ha bump, bissshh! Thanks for gettin' me out of a scrape, Randy.
Caller 3:Brak! How are you?
Brak:I'm good.
Caller 3:Look, just to let you know how much I, I love you, man, I'm sittin' here with my headphones on the radio, watching TV's scariest bleach crashes, in my drawers. I mean, who says single life doesn't have its rewards? (studio sound bite: frogs saying "Bud-Weis-Er")
Caller 3:God, okay.
Pete Davis:Thanks for sharing that, Randy.
Brak:You got the headphones on, do ya?
Caller 3:Brak, just wanted to call and say "hi", man, I love ya on "Cartoon Planet". Get your people to call mine, we'll do lunch.
Brak:Okay. Lunch is good.
Pete Davis:Who's gonna pay?
Brak:We're gonna eat, right?
Pete Davis:(laughs) Randy?
Caller 3:Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?
Pete Davis:How about them Dodgers? (laughs)
Brak: (laughs) How about that Tech? Boy, can they not play basketball!
Pete Davis:Thanks, Randy. (laughs) You know, Bobby, Bobby Cremin's hair style is kinda like yours, Brak, it's kinda like that pageboy thing you got goin'.
Brak:I don't watch basketball, I don't know what you're talkin' about. (laughs)
Pete Davis: (laughs) O-kay! Let's go to Kim in DeKalb county, you're on 105.7 FM WGST.
Caller 4:All hail Brak!
Brak: All hail Kim. Of DeKalb county.
Caller 4:(laughs) I've been following your "Cooking with Brak" segments...
Caller 4:... and I was wondering if there was any possibility you're planning on putting out a cookbook, or even possibly opening an alternative cuisine restaurant somewhere?
Brak:Wellll, I've been thinking of, you know, "Brak's Planet", and that's where people come and dress up as me, and, uh, they play songs really loud, and serve really bad fajitas. (everyone laughs)
Caller 4:Do they serve Pu Pu Pu Platters?
Brak:Yes, yes, oh yes.
Caller 4:Alright!
Pete Davis:Pu pu pu!
Brak:"Brak's House of Wieners". Yes, that's, that's what it's gonna be.
Caller 4:Yeah, um, and, you know, that might be a really great way to meet women, too.
Brak:You know --
Caller 4:You might think about that.
Brak:Well, y' ... that's a good idea, I guess.
Caller 4:Hey, I know I'd come down there.
Brak:You know, what I thought of makin', especially for the restaurant, you know how popular, uh, those, uh, cookie dough ice cream is?
Caller 4:Mmm hmm.
Brak:I thought of gettin' that meat filling that's in wieners, and puttin' it in vanilla ice cream. It'd be like, wiener filler, ice cream.
Pete Davis:Would you eat that, Kim?
Caller 4:Well, that's unique, I'd buy some of that, but again what do I know, I'm a muffin head.
Brak:Boy... it'd be tasty.
Pete Davis:Would you eat that meat-covered ice cream, Kim?
Caller 4:Um, maybe once, a small spoonful. But only if Brak tries it first.
Brak:No, I need a guinea pig.
Pete Davis:(laughs) He needs a taster.
Caller 4:Oh well, you only live once. Briefly.
Pete Davis:And, you only get one call, thanks Kim!
Brak:What are ya gonna do.
Pete Davis:(laughs) Have a good one. Let's go to -- wait a minute, I've got a question for you. How did, how did Space Ghost capture you?
Brak:Well, um, a couple times he just blew me up.
Pete Davis:(laughs)
Brak:I think the first time he like, blew, blew up the cave, and my brother Sisto and I were stuck in the cave, together. But we got out. And then, we got stuck in this field of -- you don't want to know this, it's long and boring.
Pete Davis:You're right. Blake in Marietta, you're on 105.7 FM WGST, with Brak.
Caller 5:All hail Brak!
Brak:All hail Blake from Marietta.
Caller 5: How are ya?
Brak:I'm, you know, cuttin' muffins. (laughs) Whew!
Caller 5:Hey, hey hey, I've got a question, this is somethin' all us Brak fans want to know. How come they dub your voice on the old cartoons with that crappy voice?
Brak: Potty mouth! (everyone laughs) No, that's how my original voice was, before I became stupid!
Caller 5:What!
Brak:When I was knocked on the head!
Caller 5:Oh, I can't believe it!
Brak:Well, believe it!
Caller 5:Okay, okay, I believe it, it's incredible, I've had a transformation.
Brak:Well, good... Blake.
Caller 5:(laughs) I'm makin' some bean chili. You know what the problem is ...
Caller 5:... you can't get women 'cause you're working in Midtown, Cartoon Planet is too close to Midtown.
Brak:(pause) Okay.
Pete Davis:(laughs) He pleads the fifth on that one.
Brak:I do.
Pete Davis:Well, you got the name Blake, come on.
Caller 5:What? What's that s'posed to mean?
Pete Davis:That's a nice bar you've got down there 'cross from the park.
Caller 5:Yeah yeah yeah.
Pete Davis:(laughs) Have a good one, Blake.
Caller 5:Have a good night.
Brak:Somewhere I'm lost in this conversation.
Pete Davis:(laughs) Yeah right. 404-367-WGST, Brak from Cartoon Planet is here, and if you'd like to call in and ask him a question, this is the place, we're gonna take a little break with Howard Gunter doin' the news. Not Brak, even though at times it's hard to tell the difference. We'll be right back.
(Prerecorded: "Cooking with Brak" from "Cartoon Planet")
Brak:(intro music) Hello, everybody! Welcome to "Cooking with Brak". You know, everybody at one time or another has enjoyed that wonderful Oriental delight, the pu pu platter. Well, today I'm gonna go one step better, and prepare Brak's special pu pu pu platter. You notice it has an extra 'pu' there. It's the extra pu that makes all the difference. I could've taken the easy road and did a pu platter, but who wants a platter with just one pu? I've found that even the conventional two pu platter leaves one a little bit, how shall I say it, unfulfilled. I trust you'll find that's not the case when you experience the thrill of an extra pu -
Space Ghost:Brak!
Space Ghost:There's no time left for your pu pu platter.
Brak:You mean my pu pu pu platter.
Space Ghost:Whatever. Put your 'pu' in the refrigerator and we'll try to work it into another show.
Brak:Somebody's gonna steal my pu, I just know it. What if I make a sign that said, "This is Brak's pu, don't touch it"?
Space Ghost:That should do it.
Announcer:Pete Davis! What else could a woman ask for? (woman moans in background, whip cracks)

(Intro music)

Pete Davis:Take it, Brak.
Brak:I don't know this one. (laughs) Dee dee, dee dee dee!
Pete Davis:We're here live with Brak, from Cartoon Planet.
Brak:Oh boy!
Pete Davis: 404-367-WGST, and Brak, is Zorak a pain in the ass to work with?
Brak:Pain in the what?
Pete Davis:Uh, bohunkus.
Brak:Potty mouth!
Pete Davis:Sorry. (laughs)
Brak:No, he's my friend.
Pete Davis:Is he?
Brak:Well, not 'cording to him, no, but, yes.
Pete Davis:He doesn't treat you very well...
Brak:I like him. He's Mr. Grumpy Pants, but, you know, I have to work with him every day.
Pete Davis:Alright, well, let's go to the phones here, and talk to... let's see, you wanna talk to a male or a female?
Brak:Who's Mel?
Pete Davis:(laughs) Mel's this, uh, red-headed beauty, uh, well, anyway, we're not gonna go into that. Let's, uh, yeah, Sandy in Duluth, you're on 105.7 FM WGST, it could be male or female.
Caller 6:It's female!
Pete Davis:Female!
Caller 6:Hey!
Brak:Hey, Sandy!
Caller 6:How ya doin'?
Brak:I'm okay.
Caller 6:I wondered if you would sing me one of my favorite songs?
Brak:What one?
Caller 6:Um, "I Love You, Baby"?
Brak:Okay, here we go. (tunes ukelele)
Pete Davis:Oh, musical accompanyment.
Brak:Oh, here we go. (strumming) Ohhhh, I forget the words.
Caller 6 & PD:I love you, baby.
Brak: I love you, baby,
I love the way that you walk,
I love you, baby,
I love the way that you talk,
I really like it when you call my name, do it, Sandy!
Caller 6:(pause) Aaaaaah!
Brak:That's pretty good. (stops playing, everybody laughs)
Pete Davis:Brak Unplugged.
Brak:Oh boy, you know the song just as well as I do. (strums and sings again) I love you, Sandy...
Pete Davis:Well Sandy, thank you very much for callin', does that make your night?
Caller 6:Yeah, and I really wish that they would, uh, record the "Twelve Days of Christmas", that was really funny. The song they sang, back around Christmas time, remember that, Brak?
Brak:The, the one about Christmas?
Caller 6:Yeah!
Pete Davis:Twelve days?
Brak:The twelve days?
Caller 6:You just had five days of Christmas, though, but they were hilarious.
Brak:Well, thanks.
Caller 6:You're great!
Pete Davis:Alright, Sandy, thanks a lot.
Caller 6:Thank you!
Pete Davis:Have a good night there.
Brak:Bye, Sandy!
Pete Davis:How come you're not on "Space Ghost Coast to Coast"? How come you're not, you'd be the star, wouldn't ya?
Brak:Uh, no, uh, Space Ghost is, uh, more of a, uh, uh, it's too... grumpy. It's what's been written down for me to read.
Pete Davis:Thought you were going to say "bald". (everyone laughs)
Brak:No, no, no, no! I'm, I'm just not that show's speed, I'd, I'm too goofy.
Pete Davis:Okay. Uh, when is...
Brak:It's like a whole different show.
Pete Davis:When is your show on now, 'cause it's changed.
Brak:Oh, what, I forgot about that. Oh!
Pete Davis:As long as you're here.
Brak:Space Ghost Coast to Coast, the original, is on Friday nights at 11, Saturdays at midnight, and, uh, Cartoon Planet, that's what I'm on most of the time, is, uh, Friday nights at 11:30, and Saturday mornings at 8, on Cartoon Network! All on Cartoon Network! Cartoon Network!
Pete Davis:(laughs) Cartoon Network.
Brak:Yes! That's where you'll find it.
Pete Davis:Donald in Stone Mountain, you're on 105.7 FM WGST, with Brak.
Caller 7:Hey, Brak, I just wanted to say, you know, when ya comin' out with an album? I mean, with all those songs you're makin', when ya comin' out with an album?
Brak: We actually have an album out right now, I think we're sold out of it, right? But, um, I think we're makin' a deal right now, and we're gonna put out, uh, an album, soon, I don't know when. But there will be an album out, um, by Rhino. Kid Rhino. That's, that's the label. I'm not makin' it up!
Pete Davis:It could be the unplugged songs he's doin' tonight.
Brak:Um, no.
Pete Davis:No. (laughs) Well, Donald, is that it?
Caller 7:Well, I just wanted to ask another question. Why did they set back your show? I mean, it was so funny on weekdays, every day.
Brak:Well, um, we could make it more special on Friday nights, um, uh, because, um, more people watch on Friday nights, that's why.
Pete Davis:Do you watch, Donald?
Caller 7:Yeah. I stay up that late, and my dad's just crackin' up with me.
Brak:Wellll, it's good that you're both watchin' it together.
Caller 7:Yeah, and because we're both, like, sick idiots.
Brak:(laughs) Okay!
Pete Davis:(laughs) Well, thanks, Donald. Thanks for sharing that little piece of Americana with us. (laughs) A Norman Rockwell thing.
Brak:Thanks, Donald. (sings and plays ukulele) Goodbye, Donald, good-byeeee! (stops singing) Thank you very much.
Pete Davis:How do you feel about the fact that generations are getting together over your show?
Brak: I, uh, just want to stress that family unity, is the best! You know, sit in your living room, and watch it with your family, because you'll all get it. I don't get it! But you all will get it!
Pete Davis: How come you're not more animated?
Brak:Uh, because, uh, I guess my voice is animated enough. Moolah!
Pete Davis:(laughs) Oh.
Brak:What d'ya think?
Pete Davis:Alright. Cindy in Powder Springs, you're on 105.7 FM WGST.
Brak:(in low voice) Hello Cindy!
Caller 8:All hail Brak!
Brak:Hello Cindy!
Caller 8:Hel-lo Brak!
Brak: What'ya doin', baby?
Caller 8:Oh, I'm just waitin' to talk to you!
Brak:(laughs) Okay!
Caller 8:Brak, I was wondering, do you sing at weddings?
Brak: Do I sing at weddings?
Caller 8:Yeah!
Brak:(sings and plays ukulele) Aaaaaaa-ve Mariiii-iiii-aaa! Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you! (studio sound bite: "Oh, shut your hole.")
Caller 8:Very good! I have one more question for you.
Caller 8:You're always sittin' behind that desk, are you wearin', do you wear boxers or briefs?
Brak:I believe I wear briefs, but that's none of your business! (everyone laughs) I wear pants, young lady!
Caller 8:You wear, you wear pants.
Caller 8:Alright. We love you, Brak!
Brak:Thank you!
Pete Davis:Thank you, Cindy.
Caller 8:Uh huh. Bye bye.
Brak:Bye, Cindy.
Pete Davis: Uh, is, uh, there demonst - demonst -- blblbl, discrimination against evil space cats out there, that you've found, since you've been to earth for...
Brak:What's a cat?
Pete Davis:A, aren't you a cat?
Brak:What, no.
Pete Davis:No?
Brak:Somebody on this Internet put up this bogus picture of me, makin' me look like Miss Pretty Cat, but I'm not that image! I wanna stress that right now! That is not me!
Pete Davis:(laughing) Okay! Alright, touched a nerve there...
Brak:Maybe, maybe I'll show you what I really look like.
Pete Davis:Mark in Hiram, you're on 105.7 FM WGST.
Caller 9:Hey, Brak!
Caller 9:Hey, you know what, let me give you a little advice to help you out with that overgrown, uh, prayin' mantis friend of yours.
Brak:Yes? Uh huh?
Caller 9:Okay.
Brak:He's six feet. He's big.
Caller 9:Introduce him to a female of his species. If you've seen any nature shows, you know what I'm talkin' about.
Brak:Yes, I know, they bite their heads off.
Caller 9:Exactly.
Brak:And it's, it's not a pretty sight. You know what, I have a feeling that he would just, just to gross us all out, he would run around with his head off...
Caller 9:(laughs)
Brak:... and not care what we thought.
Pete Davis:He's a camel cricket.
Caller 9:(laughing) As far as Space Ghost not payin' you? (laughing)
Brak:Oh boy!
Caller 9:You know, Space Ghost's been doin' voice work around town...
Caller 9:He, he does a crazy, uh, uh, let's see, uh, a commercial, I think it's Marietta Jeep or something?
Pete Davis:(super low voice) Oh baby! Oooh, baby!
Caller 9:Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Brak:Yes? Uh, is that Space Ghost?
Caller 9:You could do a little bit of that yourself. It probably pays more.
Brak: (low voice) Hey baby! (everyone laughs) Oh boy!
Pete Davis:Ahhh!
Brak:I'm Barry White!
Caller 9:Brak, you're great. Pete, I love your show.
Brak:Can't get enough of your love, baby!
Pete Davis:Thank you much. Have a good one there! (laughs) Well, when we had Space Ghost on, a few months ago, he said that's you masquerading in his, uh, his Space Ghost costume, runnin' around out there.
Pete Davis:No?
Brak:I don't know what he's talkin' about.
Pete Davis:He said, he made some remark about your buttocks being like two canned hams in a fist fight.
Brak:No. That's some poor fool, some poor sap...
Pete Davis:So, it's not you at all.
Brak:... off the floor.
Pete Davis:Seems like there's a lot of people out to get you. The Internet people and...
Pete Davis:Yes. (laughs)
Brak:Out to get me.
Pete Davis:(laughing) DJ in Marietta, you're on 105.7 FM WGST.
Brak:Hey DJ!
Caller 10:Hey Brak!
Brak:Hey DJ!
Caller 10:What planet were you born on?
Brak:Hey DJ! (pause) What planet were you born on?
Caller 10:Earth.
Caller 10:... I think.
Brak:Where's that?
Caller 10:Uh...
Brak: Oh, that's right here. Oh, okay! I was born, on, uh, a planet. It was, uh, blue. It's called Idaho. Not to be confused with the state. It's just called that 'cause it's shaped like a potato, and it's got a couple eyes.
Pete Davis:Does that help, DJ?
Caller 10:Yeah.
Pete Davis:Do you watch the show religiously?
Caller 10:Not really.
Pete Davis:Why?
Brak:Well, get off! (laughs) No, I'm kidding! (laughs)
Pete Davis:Why don't you watch the show?
Caller 10:I watch the show a lot.
Pete Davis:Well, you... which is it? You said you didn't watch the show.
Brak:He watches it a lot, give him some credit!
Pete Davis:You're too busy, listenin' to the radio.
Brak:(sings and plays ukulele) By the radio, ohhhh!
Pete Davis:He's breaking into song, thanks DJ, did you have a song you wanted to favor us with at the moment?
Brak:Um, no.
Pete Davis:No? Well, you brought your little toy there.
Brak: (strums) Okay, I'll do a song. (strums once, coughs, then plays and sings)

Come on baby,
Let's do the twist,
Come on baby,

Oh, it's out of key!

Pete Davis:(laughs) Oh, really?
Brak:(checks tuning) My dog has some fleas on it!
Pete Davis:Alright, alright. Uh, Jonathan in Tucker, you're on 105.7 FM WGST.
Caller 11:Yeah?
Caller 11:Hey.
Brak:Sorry! Just made Pete just fall off his chair.
Pete Davis:What's on your mind, Jonathan?
Caller 11:(pause) I was wondering, um, has, I know, I know that Zorak's always gotten blown up, like, a billion times, but have you ever gotten blown up?
Brak:I, I got blown up once, at the end of a show called "Cookout", it's "Space Ghost Coast to Coast", and, uh, Space Ghost and my lawyers are in litigation, over that. That, that means they're talkin' about it, Jonathan. Still there?
Caller 11:Yes.
Pete Davis:With their briefs, legal briefs.
Brak:Oh! That's, yeah, it hurt. It hurt a lot! It was his burn...
Pete Davis:Alright. Jonathan?
Caller 11:Yeah?
Pete Davis:Have a good night!
Caller 11:Okay.
Pete Davis:Take it easy.
Brak:Bye, Jonathan!
Pete Davis:Bye, Jonathan. How much moolah does an evil space being such as yourself, uh, get?
Brak:I don't know. I, I don't know. I don't get paid.
Pete Davis:Not a pineapple.
Brak:Nada!! I get pineapple and Evian water! (laughs) No, I, I don't, I don't know. What does he get paid?
Pete Davis:Well, how's Ted Turner to work for?
Brak:Who's Ted Turner? He's a nice man. Uh, he's a really nice guy. But I don't work for him! I work for Space Ghost.
Pete Davis:You ever met Jane, his wife?
Brak:(hums Jetsons theme, sings) Jane, his wife. (talks) Nnnno.
Pete Davis:No?
Brak:No, but I saw a movie that she was in, but I had to close my eyes most of the time during it.
Pete Davis:(laughing) Was that the one where she's in Appalachia tryin' to teach people to read?
Brak:No, she was in, it, there's some pond, she was rollin' around in it. And then there was a knight in shining armor or somebody, in it.
Pete Davis:(laughing) Okay! Nate in Chamblee, to change the subject, you're on 105.7 FM WGST.
Caller 12:Hey, Brak!
Brak:Hey, Nate!
Caller 12:Hey, I just want to tell you, you need to get your Brak costume and get your butt on "Saturday Night Live", you're so funny you'd be an instant success.
Caller 12:More than what you are now.
Brak:I could be on the cheerleading thing.
Caller 12:(laughs) That'd be funny! Then you could, with on the news, it'd be pretty funny.
Brak:It would?
Caller 12:Yeah.
Brak:It'd be a laugh riot!
Caller 12:... crazy people.
Pete Davis:That's, that's what you brought to the table, Nate?
Caller 12:(laughs) Sorry, didn't mean to ruin your show.
Pete Davis:No, no, that's quite alright.
Brak: Oh! No, you didn't, you're a beautiful person. So Nate, um, what do you for a living?
Caller 12:I'm a graphic artist.
Caller 12:I'm at work right now.
Brak:Draw me some legs! (laughs)
Caller 12:(laughs) What's wrong with your legs?
Pete Davis:Or your bohunkus.
Brak:I don't have any right now.
Pete Davis:Can you help him out, Nate?
Caller 12:Hey, that's why he needs to be on, uh, on the news spot on "Saturday Night Live", they only show your waist up, you know?
Pete Davis:Why do they only show your waist up?
Brak:Uh, 'cause I, I'm not animated, to stand up.
Caller 12:Well, that's usually what they do when you're only standing there talking.
Brak:Well, I stand up, and, like, lean over the desk, stiff.
Pete Davis:And you raise your hand like this.
Jeremy:It scares the women in the audience.
Pete Davis:Well, Nate, have a good night.
Caller 12:Alright.
Brak:Thanks, Nate!
Pete Davis:Take it easy. 404-367-WGST, or 800-FON-WGST. When we come back, more of the world of sports, from Brak, and maybe Jeremy, who knows.

(Tropical drums beating in background, with Hawaiian guitar)

Brak:You know, not many people know this, that my planet is Polynesian in nature. And, so, here's a beautiful song, in my native tongue.

(Hawaiian-sounding lyrics that I couldn't decipher. During parts of the song, Brak in the studio sings along with himself in the recording)

Thank you very much, everybody.

Hosea Williams:(prerecorded) When I'm out drivin' around Atlanta, I listen to Peter Davis at night, on WGST, the News Monster! (song intro plays)
Pete Davis:That was Hosea Williams.
Brak:Oh, I get it, oh, yeah...
Pete Davis:The Reverend.
Brak:(strums along with song on ukulele, off key)
Pete Davis:We're back --
Brak:Look at that!
Pete Davis:What?
Brak:Georgia Tech is down by twelve! Not that I care. (starts playing ukulele)
Pete Davis:(laughs) We're here with Brak. Ehhhh, let's see, Jason in Tucker, you're on 105.7 FM WGST.
Caller 13:Yeah, I just wanted to ask Brak if he'll be at Dragon Con again this year?
Brak:Oh, yes.
Caller 13:You gonna be there?
Brak:I believe we will.
Caller 13:Can I request a song?
Caller 13:How about "Highway 40"?
Brak: (clears his throat, strums his ukulele) Here we go... Which one? Okay! One, two, three...

I'm goin' down Highway 40 in my big old pickup truck,
I'm goin' down Highway 40 in my -- (big cough)

Pete Davis:(laughs) I think we've lost Brak, Jason.
Pete Davis:I think he blew out a vocal chord on that one.
Brak:It's high!
Pete Davis:He's, he's high on life.
Caller 13:Tell Andy I said hello.
Pete Davis:Who?
Caller 13:Andy.
Brak:Who's Andy?
Caller 13:Andy Merrill.
Pete Davis:Andy? Andy from Smyrna?
Caller 13:No.
Brak:Okay, I'll tell him you said hi.
Pete Davis:Alright, Jason.
Caller 13:Bye.
Brak:Bye, Jason.
Pete Davis: Have a good one. Who's this Andy character?
Brak:I dunno.
Pete Davis:All right. 404-
Brak:Some curmudgeon.
Pete Davis:-367-WGST. Brak has graciously decided, he called Space Ghost, Space Ghost says he can keep the Phantom Cruiser for thirty more minutes. So get your questions ready, he's got, we got thirty more minutes, with a, we're gonna have a special Queen song, to close out Brak when he comes back. And, uh, my producer's writing me a note, so I'm gonna stall until I can read what it says here.
Brak:"Intro Howard."
Pete Davis:It says, "Intro Howard", so, uh, tell everybody the news, Brak, is coming up, by Howard Gunter here.
Brak: Howard Gunter's up with the news. So, here he goes. (playing ukulele and singing) Howard Gunter is up with the news! Hey! Hey!
Announcer:Pete Davis! (prerecorded voice: "All new, and in flaming technicolor!")

(Prerecorded: Brak sings "I'm a Cucumber")

Brak:Heyyyy, everybody! I just made up a song, and I hope you can sing along with me. It's called "I'm a Cucumber." Here we go: one, two, three, four,

I'm a cucumber,
I'm a cucumber,
I'm a cucumber,
I'm a cucumber,
I'm a cucumber,
I'm a cucumber,
Please don't take me to the pickle farm.

Bum! Da daaa, de da le de daaa, thank you very much, everybody, thanks. (Blip squeaks) Oh boy! Am I Neil Diamond or what?

(Intro music)

Pete Davis:We're back, 404-367-WGST, with Brak, and Brak, do you, uh, do you get a chance to ever listen to the Kimmer or anything?
Pete Davis:Kimmer.
Brak:Kimmer?! Nnnnope.
Pete Davis:Nope.
Brak:Sorry. Sorry, Kimmer.
Pete Davis:How about Punnett? Do you ever get a chance to listen to Punnett? Do you have any, uh, thoughts, anything you'd like to share about Punnett?
Brak:Punnett? Good man. Woman. Whatever he is. I don't know.
Pete Davis:(laughs) How about Tom, Tom, uh, Hughes in the morning? Atlanta's first news, The King, as we call him.
Brak:I saw him in, um, in a restaurant the other day,
Pete Davis:(aside) What was he doing?
Brak:He was eatin' five strips of bacon! And it, he had his mouth full. And it wasn't pretty.
Pete Davis:(laughs) He's a big bacon eater, that Tom Hughes.
Brak:Yes, he's big on that bacon.
Pete Davis:Right. Cooked, right?
Pete Davis:No? Just a lot of --
Brak: I said, "What are you doin'?" And he said, "I want my heart to stop now!" (laughs)
Pete Davis:Eh, lotta lard. Usually in the back. 404-367-WGST, we're talkin' to Brak. Heystin in Douglasville, you're on 105.7 FM WGST.
Caller 14:Hello?
Brak:Is that, is that pronounced right?
Pete Davis:Heystin?
Caller 14:Yeah.
Caller 14:Okay.
Brak:(growling) Hey-stin!
Caller 14:(growling back) Hey-stin!
Brak:Hey, Stan, what're ya doin'?
Caller 14:(while Brak is talking) How's Zorak?
Caller 14: Okay. Uh, you had whiskers in your old cartoons,
Caller 14:... and even though you're not a cat,
Brak:Uh huh.
Caller 14:... if cats get their whiskers pulled, I heard they can't walk straight. And, uh, can you walk straight?
Brak:No, but that's not 'cause I shaved. Just 'cause I'm stupid. (studio sound bite: "Shut up!") That's, what was that?
Pete Davis:I don't know, it just came out of nowhere.
Caller 14:I think that was my sister, I don't know.
Pete Davis:Yeah, tell her to get off the phone. Is, is she on...
Caller 14:Well, if you're listening on the phone, get off!
Pete Davis:Does she, really? Well!
Brak:(laughs) Well! (studio sound bite: "Shut up!")
Pete Davis:Well, there she was again. What's her name?
Caller 14:I don't know, that didn't sound like her.
Brak:That's not your sister! (everyone laughs) That's some weirdo little noise he's playin'. We're playin' with ya, Heystin!
Pete Davis:Warpin' minds! How old are ya, Heystin?
Caller 14:Eleven.
Pete Davis:Eleven? How long you been watchin', uh, "Cartoon Planet"?
Caller 14:Well, uh, I guess since I was ten.
Pete Davis:A veteran.
Brak:Oooh, that's a long time!
Pete Davis:Who's your favorite character on, uh, "Cartoon Planet"?
Caller 14:Well, uh... (pause) I don't know.
Pete Davis:Let me give you a hint: say "Brak".
Caller 14:Why should I say "Brak"?
Brak:Because I'm sittin' here. (everyone laughs) You don't wanna hurt my feelings, do ya?
Caller 14:Okay, Brak.
Brak:Actually, say that your favorite character is Benny.
Pete Davis:You're a hard kid, Heystin.
Caller 14: Well, who's Benny?
Brak:Um, somebody I just made up.
Pete Davis:Imaginary character, uh...
Brak:Imaginary, my     friend. Oh boy!
Pete Davis:Okay, Heystin.
Pete Davis:Time for bed!
Caller 14:Okay, bye.
Pete Davis:Goodbye, Heystin.
Brak:Bye! (starts singing in background)
Pete Davis:Woo! 404-367-WGST. Aren't you glad now you stayed the extra thirty minutes?
Pete Davis:Yeah! (laughs) Well, do you believe in the Force?
Brak: Hey, I'm a, I'm a Jedi. I am a Jedi.
Pete Davis:Do you have a light sabre?
Brak:No, 'cause I burned myself with it, I accidentally had it on, and I turned it on, and it burnt my leg.
Pete Davis:So Momma took it away.
Brak:Yes, she did.
Pete Davis:Where's your mom?
Brak:(in high voice, mimicing his mom) "You're not having this anymore." (regular voice) And she, like, put it up in the closet, where I can't reach it. (high voice) "I'm taking your light sabre, you can't have it!" (regular voice) I said, "Okay."
Pete Davis:What's your views on, uh, marriage? Are you gonna get married any time, Brak, or maybe on the show, or...
Brak:I don't even have a girlfriend!
Pete Davis:(laughs) That doesn't stop a lot of people.
Brak:I gotta have that before I have marriage.
Pete Davis:Not in the Phillipines, you don't.
Brak:Well, I'm not in the Phillipines, am I? (laughs)
Pete Davis:What do you do for fun when you're not chained to the desk on the set?
Brak:I sit, around, and, um, just watch TV.
Pete Davis:(laughs) Do you, uh, you know, write all your stuff on your show?
Brak:No, um, I .. just go and write stuff, I don't write stuff, I just, uh, you know...
Pete Davis:It's all ad lib?
Brak:Yes. We just make up stuff as we go.
Pete Davis:Do you get a lot of letters, from, uh, kids?
Brak:We get plenty of letters. Yes!
Pete Davis:Like how many?
Brak:I get, I get a lot of letters, and everybody says, "Zap Zorak! Will you please zap Zorak? Please, somebody zap Zorak," that's all they say.
Pete Davis:But you enjoy it when he zaps Zorak.
Brak:Yes, I get a little, thrill, out of it, thank you. (laughs)
Pete Davis: You get any letters from adults?
Brak:Yes. Um, they say, "Don't ever do that again!" and, uh, "You better stop it!" No, we get... (everyone laughs) No, we get lots of good, uh, fan mail from adults. Uh, and they, uh, a lot of girls write in, they wanna propose marriage, and, um ...
Pete Davis:Well, that's good.
Brak:... they wanna be my girlfriend. But, you know...
Pete Davis:Do you ever meet these, uh, ...
Brak:... what're you gonna do?
Pete Davis:Do you ever meet these girls?
Brak:No I don't.
Pete Davis:Why?
Brak:'Cause, you know, I'd, half of 'em are stalkers. (everyone laughs) They know where I am anyway.
Pete Davis:Now, you're seen in, what? Seventy countries? You're, you're world-wide, you're all over earth.
Brak:Yes, but, uh, you don't always hear me like you hear me now in other countries. Usually, you hear --
Pete Davis:Like in Japan, what would we hear?
Brak:Some other person, uh, some other person, dubbin' me over.
Pete Davis:No!
Pete Davis:No, 'cause you could probably do Japanese, right?
Pete Davis:No?
Brak:I could do Spanish, I took a little Spanish.
Pete Davis:Let's hear it.
Brak: íHola! That's it. (laughs)
Pete Davis:(laughs)
Brak: Yo tengo un boleto. I have a ticket.
Pete Davis:(laughs) Yo tengo un puta. Ah, now we don't wanna get...
Pete Davis:Hey, sorry, sorry.
Brak:Somebody said something...
Pete Davis:Probably nasty.
Brak:... behind my back.
Pete Davis:I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Well...
Brak:Potty mouth.
Pete Davis:Do you ever, speaking of potty mouth, do you ever say bad words on the show, that have to be, like, bleeped out?
Pete Davis:Zorak ever...?
Brak:I'm Mr. Clean. No, he doesn't.
Pete Davis:So there's no cursing whatsoever on "Cartoon Planet".
Brak:No, not on "Cartoon Planet", not on Cartoon Network whatsoever. We are a clean family network.
Pete Davis:How come at the Turner Store there's all these, uh, stupid Scooby Doo t-shirts, and Fred Flintstone, that aren't funny at all, but, but not one of you?
Brak:What are you talkin' about? They're funny!
Pete Davis:They're not funny!
Brak:I love Scooby Doo! He and I are buddies!
Pete Davis:How about Scrappy Doo? He's, he's evil.
Brak:You know, once I went out on a, on a little patrol with Scooby Doo, and, uh, I said, "Gee, Scoob, what's goin' on?" And he said, "I think there's a ghost comin'," and he jumped up in my arms. I gave him a Scooby Snack.
Pete Davis:(laughs) That's...
Brak:Boy, I'm glad I stayed this extra half hour! (laughs)
Pete Davis:Yes. (laughs) That's why we do it. Do you consider yourself a role model? This is like the Mike Wallace portion of the show.
Brak:Role model to what?
Pete Davis:Uh, children.
Brak:Don't do as I do...
Pete Davis:You like Nascar?
Brak:... do as I say. No, that's not right.
Pete Davis:You don't like Nascar?
Brak:Yes! Oh boy, watchin' them cars go by.
Pete Davis:Who's your favorite driver?
Brak:Uh, that guy, that, uh, drives a, the, uh, car.
Pete Davis:(laughs)
Brak:You know, we have a car, Cartoon Network has a car.
Pete Davis:That's true.
Brak:And, uh, it wrecks a lot. But it's still, it's good publicity for the network, that they, at least the, you know, the car is, is seen all the time.
Pete Davis:Do you like Dick Trickle?
Brak:I thought we was a golfer.
Pete Davis:Dick Trickle? Well, he plays with his putter, but that's only on Sundays.
Brak:Potty mouth!
Pete Davis:(laughs) No, I'm, that's, that's true, he is a golfer, and he's also in Nascar.
Pete Davis:He, he does both.
Brak:I won't say his name, though.
Pete Davis:John, who, uh, who drives the Cartoon Network car?
J:Uh, Robert Presley.
Pete Davis:Robert Presley, Elvis's ...
Brak:That's it! Thank you.
Pete Davis:Elvis's kid.
Brak:Who said that? He did.
Pete Davis:That's, it's a voice in the other room.
Brak:A voice... oh, there it is. Hey, how's it goin', buddy? I'm pointin' at everybody.
Pete Davis:Do you have any "bite me's" you'd like to throw out, here?
Pete Davis:Anybody, y'know? Once a week, we just throw "bite me's" out at people who made us mad during, I mean, Zorak shot you down comin' in today.
Brak:Yes, but I never get mad at anybody.
Pete Davis:Even when they shoot you out of the sky?
Brak:No, sirree. I just, you know, hurt my pride.
Pete Davis:(laughs) Did you wanna sing us a little song? I understand that you're a big Freddie Mercury fan, and...
Brak:Freddie Mercury, okay. How 'bout, how 'bout if I, okay. This, uh, ladies and gentlemen... ladies and gentlemen.
Pete Davis:(laughs) As opposed to the other ladies and gentlemen.
Brak: Ladies and gentlemen! You, not you, ladies and gentlemen, but you, ladies and gentlemen, I give you: "Bohemian Rhapsody". (clears his throat, then sings a capella, very softly at first)

Is this the real life,
Is this a fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see.
I'm just a poor boy,
Somebody call, because
There's nobody calling!
So call, gosh darn it!

Pete Davis:(laughs and applauds)
Brak:Oh! (strums ukulele)
Pete Davis:There's more to that song, isn't there?
Brak:Yes there is.
Pete Davis:(laughs) But I get a feeling we're not gonna to hear it.
Brak:It's a long, long long song.
Pete Davis:It is a long song, that's why I asked you to do it.
Brak:I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.
Pete Davis:Okay.
Brak:(sings again)

I'm just a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?
Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me!
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo, Figaro, magnifico-o-o!

Pete Davis:(laughs) Okay, well, I won't, I won't force you anymore.

(Prerecorded: Space Ghost Coast to Coast excerpt)

Space Ghost:Some guest he is! Look at him, mundaning up my whole show! How can I win any awards with material like this? This show needs oomph, pizazz, joy d'vivre!
Pete Davis:Which is just what we have when we come back, after this, with some sports.
Brak:(plays "Shave and a haircut, two bits" on the ukulele)

(Prerecorded: Brak sings "Don't Touch Me")

Brak:Whoa! Hey! Don't touch me!
Don't touch me!
Whoa! Hey! Don't touch me!
Hey! Hey! Don't touch me!
Don't touch me!
Hey! Whoa! Don't touch me!
La la la la! La la la la! La la la la! La la la la! La la la la!
La! Don't touch me!
Announcer:(intro music) It is mindless. It is ruthless. It is not of this earth (woman's scream) Pete Davis!
Pete Davis:Everybody do the Brak dance! It's Brak dancing!
Pete Davis:We're back, our final segment, with, uh, Brak.
Brak: Frankie was an American girl,
Pete Davis:(laughs) That sounded like --
Brak:Raised on promises,
Pete Davis:... Brak doing Kate Hepburn doing Tom Petty. (laughs) How about Bob Dylan, can you do that? Do a little Dylan for us.
Brak:"How does it feel?" Oh, I did some Bob Dylan.
Pete Davis:Yeah, he did "Highway 40, Revisited".
Brak:No no no, I did some Bob Dylan early on, we did a Bob Dylan, uh, tribute song.
Pete Davis:Oh.
Brak:You ever heard that?
Pete Davis:No!
Brak:Well, we did it!
Pete Davis:Well, let's hear it!
Brak:Uh, I can't remember, how it went.
Pete Davis:But it was Bob Dylan.
Brak:It was so long ago!
Pete Davis:(laughs) Alright, well, let's go to David in Tucker, you're on 105.7 FM WGST.
Caller 15:Brak!
Caller 15:Hey, I got two things for you here.
Caller 15:One of those is one of these "stranger than fiction" things. Your name...
Caller 15:It's the same sound I make when I drink too much beer.
Pete Davis:(laughs)
Brak:(in low voice) Hey! Hey, boy! Hey!
Caller 15:And the other thing is...
Brak:That's scary.
Caller 15:... where'd you, where'd you study voice?
Brak: Where'd I study voice?
C15:Uh huh.
Brak:Juilliard. (everyone laughs)
Pete Davis:Wherefore art thou, Juilliard?
Caller 15:I'm forty-one years old, and I'm talkin' to Brak, this is great.
Pete Davis:(laughs) How old are ya?
Caller 15:Forty-one.
Brak:What'd you age have to do with it?
Caller 15:I guess I can't figure that out, I don't know.
Pete Davis:Forty-one, time to get a life.
Brak:No, it's not!
Caller 15:It's pretty exciting.
Brak:I welcome older people!
Caller 15:(laughs) Well, thank you, I guess I'm, uh...
Brak:I'm not sayin' you're old. I'm just sayin' you're older than...
Caller 15:Ehh...
Brak: No, I'd, er... Okay, I've dug myself in a hole. I can't get out! Somebody!!
Caller 15:Well, climb out, you're good, come on.
Pete Davis:David, is Brak your favorite character?
Caller 15:Oh, at least. He may be two of my favorite characters.
Pete Davis:Was he cloned again, or...
Brak:Yes.  Ma-a-a-a.
Caller 15:(laughs)
Pete Davis:It's "b-a-a-a-d".
Brak:That's a "b-a-a-a-d" one.
Pete Davis:Well David, I appreciate the call, sir.
Caller 15:Uh huh.
Pete Davis:You have a good night.
Brak:Thanks, buddy.
Caller 15:Bye bye.
Pete Davis:Take it easy.
Brak:Bye, buddy.
Pete Davis: Slow night in Tucker. (everyone laughs) But then again... Brak, what are your goals?
Brak:(Begins making "Don't Touch Me" background sounds as Pete Davis is talking)
Pete Davis:What do you, what do you want? I mean, you're, you're a big star, you're all over Earth, seventy countries, what do you, where do you go from here?
Brak:(stops making sounds) Huh? What?
Pete Davis:(laughs) Where do you, I mean, where do you go from, I mean, after you leave the studio, but after, you know, "Cartoon Planet" and everything, nothing lasts forever, what's, what's the goals for Brak? Your own show?
Brak:Well, you know, I thought I'd, uh, you know, find a nice girl, you know, settle down, uh, have a few kids, a family, and, uh, live, a wonderful, life. I'm depressed.
Pete Davis:(laughs) 'Cause you don't see this happening...
Brak:I'm gonna write a novel about, um, my time with Space Ghost. Um, it's gonna be called, um, "Mommy Dearest". Not to be confused with, you know, that one novel. But, it's not a novel. I guess.
Pete Davis: Is there some dirt on Space Ghost you could tell us, things that, uh, people don't know, but you know, because you're behind the scenes?
Brak:You know, when he's out drivin', in the Phantom Cruiser, and nobody's lookin'? Or he thinks nobody's lookin'? (quietly) He, he picks his nose! (rim shot) (everybody laughs) He does!
Pete Davis:Thank God you said that!
Brak:I saw him do it!
Pete Davis:How does he get out of them tights? Is that one big long unitard?
Brak:He crams his thumb up there, and just starts diggin' for gold. I don't know what...
Pete Davis:(laughs) Well, tell everybody once again when they could, uh, if they're just tuning in, when they can see you.
Brak:They can see me on, uh, "Cartoon Planet", Friday nights at 11:30, Saturdays at 8, uh, AM, in the morning. 11:30 at night on Friday nights, sorry! And then they can watch the wonderful talk show, "Space Ghost Coast to Coast". It's what started us all, it's, uh, what gave us jobs. And, uh, it's on at 11:00 Friday nights, and, uh, 12 midnight on Saturday nights.
Pete Davis:Alright. Well, a couple quick calls here. Uh, Tyler in Gwinnett, quick, what you got for Brak?
Caller 16:Um, Brak?
Caller 16:Do you have a dog?
Brak:Yes I do. My dog Ernie. He, uh, likes to jump around the house, and eat. Boy, he eats! Tyler... (everyone laughs)
Pete Davis:Does that answer your question, Tyler?
Caller 16:Yeah.
Brak:Do you have, do you have a dog, Tyler?
Pete Davis:Too late.
Brak:Aw, nuts! Sorry, Tyler.
Pete Davis:Robert in ?? Acworth.
Caller 17:Hey, Brak, how's it goin' there?
Brak:Hey, Robert?
Caller 17:Got a question.
Caller 17:You know with this, this sheep that they cloned, named Dolly?
Caller 17:Does that mean this is the new Dolly llama? (rim shot)
Pete Davis:Thanks for playing. (laughs) It's an even slower night in Acworth. Brak, thanks for comin' by.
Brak: Well, thanks. Hey, I wanted to share somethin' special with you, I thought I would, uh, show you my real face.
Pete Davis:No, no, no!
Brak:Yes, I'm gonna take my mask off, and, uh, show you what I really look like. So, uh, get ready.
Pete Davis:Alright.
Brak:Not pretty. Here we go... (grunts) Oh man! (removes his mask)
Pete Davis:Oh, my dear God! (everyone screams)
Brak:Okay, I'll put it back on.
Pete Davis:(space ship sounds in background) Well, Brak is back in his space ship, tryin' to get it to go there. We hope.
Brak:(more space ship sounds) So long! (car engine cranking sound, but not starting) Wait, I gotta pump the engine a bit. (engine cranking sound again)
Pete Davis:Brak's having carburator trouble here.
Brak:I need to get this thing tuned up! Come on! (engine cranking sound again)
Pete Davis:Diehard? Do we get him a rental. Is that a Ford Phantom Cruiser?
Brak:(engine finally starts) Ah, there we go. Thanks! I was gonna ask you for a jump, but I don't know.
Pete Davis:Well, no thank you. (laughs)
Brak:Hey, uh, thanks, uh, I'll see you later. (space ship takes off) I'm goin', back home. I'll see you on Friday nights at 11:30! (voice fades, as ship zooms out of sight)

Special thanks to Negaduck, maintainer of Brak's Scrapbook for:

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