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Original Air Date:May 26, 1994
Guest Stars:Bobcat Goldthwait, The Ramones
Synopsis:During an otherwise friendly interview with comedian Bobcat Goldthwait, Zorak reveals Space Ghost's secret identity: Tad Ghostal. Goldthwait agrees to party with Space Ghost after the show. The festivities are spoiled, however, by Zorak and his punk friends, The Ramones.

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(Dramatic orchestra hit)
Bobcat Goldthwait:Yes! Hello, if you are watching us on other planets, I want you to know that... on Earth, I am the leader, I rule! everyone on Earth must follow me! Ha ha ha ha! (aside) Don't tell them the truth, okay, Space Ghost?
(Opening theme music & titles)
Space Ghost:(invisos in) Greetings! I'm Space Ghost, welcome to the show. Joining me tonight, comedian Bobcat Goldthwait, and rock and roll citizens The Ramones.
Zorak:(jamming) Hey ho, let's go! Hey ho, let's go!
Space Ghost:Zorak is all geeked up about the Ramones being here. (Zorak keeps jamming) That's good, Zorak. (keeps jamming) That's enough Zorak. (keeps jamming) Zorak! (jamming winds down & stops) My first guest (one more note interrupts Space Ghost) ... (taps cards) My first guest is a comedian. He is Bobcat Goldthwait, welcome him! (intro music plays & screen lowers; Zorak's face is on the screen instead of Bobcat)
Zorak:(imitating Bobcat) Uh, hi, Space Ghost!
Space Ghost:Aaah!
Zorak:(back to normal voice) Your show is lame.
Space Ghost:Are you done, Zorak?
Zorak:I'm Bobcat, interview me.
Space Ghost:You're not fooling anyone, Zorak, we know it's you.
Zorak:Is this how you treat your guests?
Space Ghost:Moltar!
(Moltar watches Zorak on monitor with the following caption, in mirror image writing:)
Inseca GeniiHelicoptera 2:3.9
Phyl Disgustis 7
Locusta Icky 3.5
Creepy Cra{?}
Slimi Green {?}
Surplus {?}
Moltar:Sorry, man, boss's orders. (throws lever)
Zorak:No! (zaps off screen; new image is infinite regression of Space Ghost's set)
Space Ghost:Hey, it's me, watching me, watching me, watching me!
Space Ghost:Are you lookin' at me? You must be lookin' at me. There's no one else here... (shoots at screen twice with power bands) (laughs) Alrighty!
Moltar:Gawd, loser! (throws switch again, Bobcat appears)
Space Ghost:Hello, Bobcat, welcome to the show.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Hi, Space Ghost, how are you today?
Space Ghost:I'm energized, just like a jittering woodchuck. You know, when they cling to the side of a tree, and their jaws move up and down and up and down over and over really fast gaining speed until its just a blur of vibrating gums and lips (mouth becomes a blur) ... Energized! (more subdued) And, how are you, Bobcat?
Bobcat Goldthwait:I'm livin' a dream, thanks a lot for having me back on the show.
Space Ghost:We're certainly glad to have you back on the show.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Although I've never been on the show before, you ...
Space Ghost:Of course you haven't.
Bobcat Goldthwait:You look pretty good.
Space Ghost:That's because I've been lifting heavy objects.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Really? Yeah, well, it shows, you look pretty cut, you look pretty buff.
Space Ghost:Well, aren't you sweet? I like you, Bobcat.
Bobcat Goldthwait:I like you, Space Ghost. I got a question; what's, what's your real name?
Space Ghost:(pause) Uhmmm...
Zorak:Tad Ghostal.
Space Ghost:(glares at Zorak)
Bobcat Goldthwait:Tad Ghostal? Really? Stick with Space Ghost, much cooler.
Space Ghost:(face gets red) Er, I agree.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Wouldn't really work on the babes too much in a bar...
Space Ghost:I, I agree...
Bobcat Goldthwait:"Hi, I'm Tad"?
Space Ghost:I realize that! (pause) Zorak's real name is Katy Did.
Zorak:(looking surprised) What?
Bobcat Goldthwait:(laughs) Hi Zorak, how ya doin', pleasure to be on the show.
Zorak:Oh no, the pleasure is all mine! (Pathetic Earthling! Your feeble words do not amuse me!)
Bobcat Goldthwait:Zorak? Do you eat your young?
Zorak:(looks surprised) Uh, um...
Space Ghost:Zorak eats anything, young, old, and then some! (Bobcat makes "Zorak" faces while Space Ghost talks) Say, Bobcat is a good name! Tell us, what's your secret identity?
Bobcat Goldthwait:My secret identity? Like, if you saw me in real life?
Space Ghost:Uh...
Zorak:Yeah, like if he saw you in real life.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Uhhhhh... I.. Joey Lawrence.
Space Ghost:Get out! I've got your album!
Bobcat Goldthwait:Yeah, girl, you know it's true.
Space Ghost:I hear Blossom hates you.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Tad!
Space Ghost:Well?
Bobcat Goldthwait:See, it's an issue right now, and I feel strongly about it.
Space Ghost:You don't look very strong.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Well, I may look small, but I'm pretty wiry.
Space Ghost:Sorry.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Space Ghost, I've got a question for you, and this isn't, I'm not trying to be weird or anything, but... do you think I'm pretty?
Space Ghost:(looks back blankly)
Bobcat Goldthwait:Just like another guy to a guy?
Space Ghost:(pause) Ummm... Yes! I think you're a pretty man.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Thank you. I think you're kind of handsome too, Space Ghost. Although the locust, hmmm, I dunno.
Zorak:(glares at him, "Psycho" music plays)
Space Ghost:Hmmmm, I see what you mean... But on a serious note, Bobcat, how would you stop crime in America?
Bobcat Goldthwait:I think you wanna stop crime in America, you say a very special episode of "Blossom" where the entire cast gets ball-peen hammers in the knee caps...
Space Ghost:Ooooh...
Bobcat Goldthwait:I promise you there'll be a half-hour of non-violent America. Because everybody'd be glued to the set. "Hey, they hit Joey Lawrence in the knee cap yet?"
Space Ghost:You think that could work?
Bobcat Goldthwait:Well, no, not really, perhaps I, I need to loosen my pants.
Space Ghost:Go ahead!
Bobcat Goldthwait:(looses pants, sound of pressure escaping) Oooo! Man, I feel better already! Wooo!
Space Ghost:You should try spandex!
Bobcat Goldthwait:Yeah, you know, I'm actually one of the only superheroes that wears leisure suits.
Space Ghost:Speaking of heroes, who are yours?
Bobcat Goldthwait:Wow! Um, geez, I dunno, I like all the greats, you know, Curly. I think that's what my coif actually looks like, what if Rutger Hauer and Curly Howard pounded out a baby... "Hey, Moe, I'm a replicant! Ne ne ne ne ne!" (makes Stooge hand & face gesture)
Space Ghost:(laughs) (Replicants were the evil creation of Dr. Zin) (aloud) Ahem, let's see, where am I? (mumbles) Oh! Who is your arch enemy?
Bobcat Goldthwait:John Tesh.
Space Ghost:The composer?
Bobcat Goldthwait:The whole man. John Tesh scares me.
Space Ghost:Say, do you need any weapons?
Bobcat Goldthwait:Yeah, what size power band are you?
Space Ghost:Colossal! Why?
Bobcat Goldthwait:Because I have a, I'm usually like a, a small power band, believe it or not, but I've been retaining a lot of fluids lately, so, probably like a medium power band.
Space Ghost:How about a nice pleated skirt?
Bobcat Goldthwait:Boy, Space Ghost, you're really switching gears!
Space Ghost:Hey, it's a 15 minute show! And, we have to take a break.
Bobcat Goldthwait:What's the locust's name again, I'm sorry?
Space Ghost:Zorak.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Oh, yeah.
Space Ghost:Zorak. I like saying "Zorak".
Bobcat Goldthwait:Zorak, play me something public domain.
Zorak:(plays something from their vast easy listening library)
Space Ghost:We'll be right back after this.
Zorak:It appears we will be right back.
Zorak:Uh, because no one can stop it, the show is back.
(Theme music plays in background)
Bobcat Goldthwait:Barney's going to make more kids snap than Bugs Bunny.
Space Ghost:Uh huh.
Bobcat Goldthwait:A kid knows Bugs Bunny's joking around, kids think Barney's for real!
Space Ghost:Uh huh.
Bobcat Goldthwait:"I love you", you don't love us, Barney, you don't even know us!
Space Ghost:Okay! We're back with Bobcat Goldthwait! I understand that you have special powers.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Yes. I'm able to, uh, bend forks.
Space Ghost:Wow!
Bobcat Goldthwait:But only at Denny's. Any other kind of forks I don't seem to be able to bend.
Space Ghost:Wow, now, is this physically or mentally?
Bobcat Goldthwait:Um, I do it with my mind... but you gotta look away, really, for a little while.
Space Ghost:When I said you were pretty, I meant you remind me of Judy Collins.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Judy Collins? (laughs) Wow, Space Ghost, man, crack a window, will ya?
Space Ghost:I'd be violently sucked into space.
Moltar:Heh, then maybe people would tune in.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Well, I think Moltar's giving us the signal to wrap it up, huh, Space Ghost?
Space Ghost:No, Bobcat, that's just his way of telling us to finish the interview. Join us for dinner after the show?
Bobcat Goldthwait:Thanks, I'd love to join you for dinner, but I don't know about eating with no gigantic locust. Don't they spit on their food first and then mulch it up and spit it back out?
Zorak:That's regurgitational ingestion, flies do it, not locusts.
Bobcat Goldthwait:Yeah, well that, but you know, that's exactly how I eat, so, perhaps I will dine with you.
Space Ghost:Alrighty! We'll meet you in the chamber after the show. Any parting words?
Bobcat Goldthwait:Space Ghost, I want to party with you.
Space Ghost:You mean with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats?
Bobcat Goldthwait:Perhaps, perhaps.
Space Ghost:Alrighty then! My next guests are Zorak's favorite band. Please welcome the Ramones!
Bobcat Goldthwait:Thanks, man.
(Ramones appear on screen)
Zorak:Hey, Joey.
Joey Ramone:(waves)
Space Ghost:Okay then. Identify yourselves, Ramones.
Johnny Ramone:Hi, I'm Johnny Ramone.
Marky Ramone:And I'm Marky Ramone.
Joey Ramone:And I'm Joey.
C. J. Ramone:And I'm C.J.
Zorak:And I'm Zorak Ramone.
Moltar:And I'm Moltar Ramone.
Space Ghost:(to camera) They're not really Ramones. (to Ramones) Say, fellas, tell us about your new record.
Johnny Ramone:"Acid Eaters", that's our latest album, it's a cover album of, uh, songs that were recorded in, um, generally around the 1967-68 period of time.
Space Ghost:And it's just now coming out?
Ramones:(all laugh)
Space Ghost:Say, guys, on your third album, "Rocket Fuel", (starts gibbering) whoops, too many Cokes.
Ramones:(all laugh)
Space Ghost:Ah ha haa! Hey! Tell me about your music.
C. J. Ramone:It's snappy.
Johnny Ramone:It's always meant for rebellious kids.
Space Ghost:Rebellious?
Johnny Ramone:Uhhh, we're a bunch of punks.
Space Ghost:Hmmm... Well, you just listen to me, you punks, I don't want any trouble from you. This is a good show. This is a clean show. This is a good clean show.
C. J. Ramone:You ever get a wedgie in tights? It's not pleasant. (laughs)
Space Ghost:Uhhh...
Bobcat Goldthwait:(on control room monitor, with Locust text from before, to Moltar) This is going as well as the Letterman-Madonna interview.
Space Ghost:Allll right then, you punks, you're musicians, make something up for me.
Marky Ramone:Well, how about: "way, we-we-way, wah wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah, way way way way way way-we-way."
Space Ghost:"Way way way"; that's catchy!
Joey Ramone:It was subliminal.
Marky Ramone:That was, that was the instrumental part.
Space Ghost:Ah!. Uh, do the word part.
Marky Ramone:How about: "Space Ghost, Space Ghost, you're the most, from coast to coast..."
Space Ghost:Listen, we have to go. Bobcat invited me to a party, with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats, and you can't come because you're punks and punks don't go to parties. Hey, you guys got a cake!
Marky Ramone:It's a nice chocolate vanilla.
Johnny Ramone:There's plates right there...
Space Ghost:Hey! Where'd you guys get that cake?
(All Ramones are "wearing" paper hats)
Marky Ramone:You want a piece of this?
C. J. Ramone:Yeah.
Space Ghost:That's my party cake! Where did you guys get my party cake? Who gave them my party cake? I want my party cake! That was specifically definitely for Bobcat and me! Zorak! Did you give them my party cake?
Zorak:(with paper hat on & crumbs falling out of mouth) Uh, what party cake?
Moltar:(with paper hat & cake) Mmmm, chocolate party cake.
(Credits roll. Ghost Planet in credits is wearing a party hat)
Marky Ramone:"Way, we-we-way, wah wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah, way way way way way way-we-way. (skip) we-way. (skip) we-way (skip) we-way." (fade out)

Michael Lazzo
Keith Crofford
Matthew Maiellaro
Andy Merrill
Khaki Jones
Matthew Maiellaro
Andy Merrill
Khaki Jones
Keith Crofford
(inverted) EDITORS
(inverted) Michael Cahill
(inverted) Tom Roche
Jeff Doud
C. Martin Croker
Nat Zimmerman
Andrea Mansour
Ran Coney
Susan Detrie
Frederike Gravenstein
Rob Jameson
Ed Jones
Alan Newsome
C. Martin Croker
Jack Maloney
Bill White
Randy Horenstein
Sonny Sharrock
Eddie Horst
Sonny Sharrock
Lance Carter
Eddie Horst
Alfrieda Gerald
Eddie Horst
George Lowe
C. Martin Croker
Greg Crawford
Rob Sanders
Dave Wilson
Roy Clements
Leah Alford
Tanya Bergan
Jeff Barron
Dave Dubiel
Michael Ivey
Michael Pitts
Mark Davis
Alex Toth
Ken Chamberlain
Dave Farmer
Margo de la Cruz
Michael Tew
Sarah Edman
Original Way Outs
the genius of
Sonny Sharrock

© 1994 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.

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