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Original Air Date:May 26, 1994
Guest Stars:Bobcat Goldthwait, The Ramones
Synopsis:During an otherwise friendly interview with comedian Bobcat Goldthwait, Zorak reveals Space Ghost's secret identity: Tad Ghostal. Goldthwait agrees to party with Space Ghost after the show. The festivities are spoiled, however, by Zorak and his punk friends, The Ramones.

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(Dramatic orchestra hit)
Bobcat Goldthwait (BG): Yes! Hello, if you are watching us on other planets, I want you to know that... on Earth, I am the leader, I rule! everyone on Earth must follow me! Ha ha ha ha! (aside) Don't tell them the truth, okay, Space Ghost?
(Opening theme music & titles)
Space Ghost (SG): (invisos in) Greetings! I'm Space Ghost, welcome to the show. Joining me tonight, comedian Bobcat Goldthwait, and rock and roll citizens The Ramones.
Zorak (Z): (jamming) Hey ho, let's go! Hey ho, let's go!
SG: Zorak is all geeked up about the Ramones being here. (Zorak keeps jamming) That's good, Zorak. (keeps jamming) That's enough Zorak. (keeps jamming) Zorak! (jamming winds down & stops) My first guest (one more note interrupts Space Ghost) ... (taps cards) My first guest is a comedian. He is Bobcat Goldthwait, welcome him! (intro music plays & screen lowers; Zorak's face is on the screen instead of Bobcat)
Z: (imitating Bobcat) Uh, hi, Space Ghost!
SG: Aaah!
Z: (back to normal voice) Your show is lame.
SG: Are you done, Zorak?
Z: I'm Bobcat, interview me.
SG: You're not fooling anyone, Zorak, we know it's you.
Z: Is this how you treat your guests?
SG: Moltar!
Z: Wait!
(Moltar watches Zorak on monitor with the following caption, in mirror image writing:)
Inseca GeniiHelicoptera 2:3.9
Phyl Disgustis 7
Locusta Icky 3.5
Creepy Cra{?}
Slimi Green {?}
Surplus {?}

Moltar (M): Sorry, man, boss's orders. (throws lever)
Z: No! (zaps off screen; new image is infinite regression of Space Ghost's set)
SG: Hey, it's me, watching me, watching me, watching me!
M: Simpleton!
SG: Are you lookin' at me? You must be lookin' at me. There's no one else here... (shoots at screen twice with power bands) (laughs) Alrighty!
M: Gawd, loser! (throws switch again, Bobcat appears)
SG: Hello, Bobcat, welcome to the show.
BG: Hi, Space Ghost, how are you today?
SG: I'm energized, just like a jittering woodchuck. You know, when they cling to the side of a tree, and their jaws move up and down and up and down over and over really fast gaining speed until its just a blur of vibrating gums and lips (mouth becomes a blur) ... Energized! (more subdued) And, how are you, Bobcat?
BG: I'm livin' a dream, thanks a lot for having me back on the show.
SG: We're certainly glad to have you back on the show.
BG: Although I've never been on the show before, you ...
SG: Of course you haven't.
BG: You look pretty good.
SG: That's because I've been lifting heavy objects.
BG: Really? Yeah, well, it shows, you look pretty cut, you look pretty buff.
SG: Well, aren't you sweet? I like you, Bobcat.
BG: I like you, Space Ghost. I got a question; what's, what's your real name?
SG: (pause) Uhmmm...
Z: Tad Ghostal.
SG: (glares at Zorak)
BG: Tad Ghostal? Really? Stick with Space Ghost, much cooler.
SG: (face gets red) Er, I agree.
BG: Wouldn't really work on the babes too much in a bar...
SG: I, I agree...
BG: "Hi, I'm Tad"?
SG: I realize that! (pause) Zorak's real name is Katy Did.
Z: (looking surprised) What?
BG: (laughs) Hi Zorak, how ya doin', pleasure to be on the show.
Z: Oh no, the pleasure is all mine! (Pathetic Earthling! Your feeble words do not amuse me!)
BG: Zorak? Do you eat your young?
Z: (looks surprised) Uh, um...
SG: Zorak eats anything, young, old, and then some! (Bobcat makes "Zorak" faces while Space Ghost talks) Say, Bobcat is a good name! Tell us, what's your secret identity?
BG: My secret identity? Like, if you saw me in real life?
SG: Uh...
Z: Yeah, like if he saw you in real life.
BG: Uhhhhh... I.. Joey Lawrence.
SG: Get out! I've got your album!
BG: Yeah, girl, you know it's true.
SG: I hear Blossom hates you.
BG: Tad!
SG: Well?
BG: See, it's an issue right now, and I feel strongly about it.
SG: You don't look very strong.
BG: Well, I may look small, but I'm pretty wiry.
SG: Sorry.
BG: Space Ghost, I've got a question for you, and this isn't, I'm not trying to be weird or anything, but... do you think I'm pretty?
SG: (looks back blankly)
BG: Just like another guy to a guy?
SG: (pause) Ummm... Yes! I think you're a pretty man.
BG: Thank you. I think you're kind of handsome too, Space Ghost. Although the locust, hmmm, I dunno.
Z: (glares at him, "Psycho" music plays)
SG: Hmmmm, I see what you mean... But on a serious note, Bobcat, how would you stop crime in America?
BG: I think you wanna stop crime in America, you say a very special episode of "Blossom" where the entire cast gets ball-peen hammers in the knee caps...
SG: Ooooh...
BG: I promise you there'll be a half-hour of non-violent America. Because everybody'd be glued to the set. "Hey, they hit Joey Lawrence in the knee cap yet?"
SG: You think that could work?
BG: Well, no, not really, perhaps I, I need to loosen my pants.
SG: Go ahead!
BG: (looses pants, sound of pressure escaping) Oooo! Man, I feel better already! Wooo!
SG: You should try spandex!
BG: Yeah, you know, I'm actually one of the only superheroes that wears leisure suits.
SG: Speaking of heroes, who are yours?
BG: Wow! Um, geez, I dunno, I like all the greats, you know, Curly. I think that's what my coif actually looks like, what if Rutger Hauer and Curly Howard pounded out a baby... "Hey, Moe, I'm a replicant! Ne ne ne ne ne!" (makes Stooge hand & face gesture)
SG: (laughs) (Replicants were the evil creation of Dr. Zin) (aloud) Ahem, let's see, where am I? (mumbles) Oh! Who is your arch enemy?
BG: John Tesh.
SG: The composer?
BG: The whole man. John Tesh scares me.
SG: Say, do you need any weapons?
BG: Yeah, what size power band are you?
SG: Colossal! Why?
BG: Because I have a, I'm usually like a, a small power band, believe it or not, but I've been retaining a lot of fluids lately, so, probably like a medium power band.
SG: How about a nice pleated skirt?
BG: Boy, Space Ghost, you're really switching gears!
SG: Hey, it's a 15 minute show! And, we have to take a break.
BG: What's the locust's name again, I'm sorry?
SG: Zorak.
BG: Oh, yeah.
SG: Zorak. I like saying "Zorak".
BG: Zorak, play me something public domain.
Z: (plays something from their vast easy listening library)
SG: We'll be right back after this.
Z: It appears we will be right back.
Z: Uh, because no one can stop it, the show is back.
(Theme music plays in background)
BG: Barney's going to make more kids snap than Bugs Bunny.
SG: Uh huh.
BG: A kid knows Bugs Bunny's joking around, kids think Barney's for real!
SG: Uh huh.
BG: "I love you", you don't love us, Barney, you don't even know us!
SG: Okay! We're back with Bobcat Goldthwait! I understand that you have special powers.
BG: Yes. I'm able to, uh, bend forks.
SG: Wow!
BG: But only at Denny's. Any other kind of forks I don't seem to be able to bend.
SG: Wow, now, is this physically or mentally?
BG: Um, I do it with my mind... but you gotta look away, really, for a little while.
SG: When I said you were pretty, I meant you remind me of Judy Collins.
BG: Judy Collins? (laughs) Wow, Space Ghost, man, crack a window, will ya?
SG: I'd be violently sucked into space.
M: Heh, then maybe people would tune in.
BG: Well, I think Moltar's giving us the signal to wrap it up, huh, Space Ghost?
SG: No, Bobcat, that's just his way of telling us to finish the interview. Join us for dinner after the show?
BG: Thanks, I'd love to join you for dinner, but I don't know about eating with no gigantic locust. Don't they spit on their food first and then mulch it up and spit it back out?
Z: That's regurgitational ingestion, flies do it, not locusts.
BG: Yeah, well that, but you know, that's exactly how I eat, so, perhaps I will dine with you.
SG: Alrighty! We'll meet you in the chamber after the show. Any parting words?
BG: Space Ghost, I want to party with you.
SG: You mean with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats?
BG: Perhaps, perhaps.
SG: Alrighty then! My next guests are Zorak's favorite band. Please welcome the Ramones!
BG: Thanks, man.
(Ramones appear on screen)
Z: Hey, Joey.
Joey Ramone (JR): (waves)
SG: Okay then. Identify yourselves, Ramones.
Johnny Ramone (JR): Hi, I'm Johnny Ramone.
Marky Ramone (MR): And I'm Marky Ramone.
JR: And I'm Joey.
C. J. Ramone (CJR): And I'm C.J.
Z: And I'm Zorak Ramone.
M: And I'm Moltar Ramone.
SG: (to camera) They're not really Ramones. (to Ramones) Say, fellas, tell us about your new record.
JR: "Acid Eaters", that's our latest album, it's a cover album of, uh, songs that were recorded in, um, generally around the 1967-68 period of time.
SG: And it's just now coming out?
Ramones (R): (all laugh)
SG: Say, guys, on your third album, "Rocket Fuel", (starts gibbering) whoops, too many Cokes.
R: (all laugh)
SG: Ah ha haa! Hey! Tell me about your music.
CJR: It's snappy.
JR: It's always meant for rebellious kids.
SG: Rebellious?
JR: Uhhh, we're a bunch of punks.
SG: Hmmm... Well, you just listen to me, you punks, I don't want any trouble from you. This is a good show. This is a clean show. This is a good clean show.
CJR: You ever get a wedgie in tights? It's not pleasant. (laughs)
SG: Uhhh...
BG: (on control room monitor, with Locust text from before, to Moltar) This is going as well as the Letterman-Madonna interview.
M: Yup.
SG: Allll right then, you punks, you're musicians, make something up for me.
MR: Well, how about: "way, we-we-way, wah wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah, way way way way way way-we-way."
SG: "Way way way"; that's catchy!
JR: It was subliminal.
MR: That was, that was the instrumental part.
SG: Ah!. Uh, do the word part.
MR: How about: "Space Ghost, Space Ghost, you're the most, from coast to coast..."
SG: Listen, we have to go. Bobcat invited me to a party, with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats, and you can't come because you're punks and punks don't go to parties. Hey, you guys got a cake!
MR: It's a nice chocolate vanilla.
JR: There's plates right there...
SG: Hey! Where'd you guys get that cake?
(All Ramones are "wearing" paper hats)
MR: You want a piece of this?
CJR: Yeah.
SG: That's my party cake! Where did you guys get my party cake? Who gave them my party cake? I want my party cake! That was specifically definitely for Bobcat and me! Zorak! Did you give them my party cake?
Z: (with paper hat on & crumbs falling out of mouth) Uh, what party cake?
M: (with paper hat & cake) Mmmm, chocolate party cake.
(Credits roll. Ghost Planet in credits is wearing a party hat)
MR: "Way, we-we-way, wah wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah, way way way way way way-we-way. (skip) we-way. (skip) we-way (skip) we-way." (fade out)

Michael Lazzo
Keith Crofford
Matthew Maiellaro
Andy Merrill
Khaki Jones
Matthew Maiellaro
Andy Merrill
Khaki Jones
Keith Crofford
(inverted) EDITORS
(inverted) Michael Cahill
(inverted) Tom Roche
Jeff Doud
C. Martin Croker
Nat Zimmerman
Andrea Mansour
Ran Coney
Susan Detrie
Frederike Gravenstein
Rob Jameson
Ed Jones
Alan Newsome
C. Martin Croker
Jack Maloney
Bill White
Randy Horenstein
Sonny Sharrock
Eddie Horst
Sonny Sharrock
Lance Carter
Eddie Horst
Alfrieda Gerald
Eddie Horst
George Lowe
C. Martin Croker
Greg Crawford
Rob Sanders
Dave Wilson
Roy Clements
Leah Alford
Tanya Bergan
Jeff Barron
Dave Dubiel
Michael Ivey
Michael Pitts
Mark Davis
Alex Toth
Ken Chamberlain
Dave Farmer
Margo de la Cruz
Michael Tew
Sarah Edman
Original Way Outs
the genius of
Sonny Sharrock

© 1994 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.

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