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Title: | Gum, Disease |
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Original Air Date: | November 10, 1994 |
Guest Stars: | Branford Marsalis, Danny Bonaduce |
Synopsis: | The rapport between Branford Marsalis and Space Ghost makes it lookas though the then-band leader of "The Tonight Show" might be switching talk shows. Next, a child star from the same television era as Space Ghost, Danny Bonaduce, talks about his days with the Partridge family and his deep-seated hatred for Osmonds. |
Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed
:START FEED | |
Moltar: | (sneezes) |
Zorak: | Sixteen. |
Moltar: | (sneezes) |
Zorak: | Seventeen. |
Moltar: | My nose is stopped up. |
Zorak: | Yeah. |
Space Ghost: | (invisos in) Inviso in... (invisos out) Inviso out... (invisos in) Inviso in... There, seems okay now. |
Moltar: | (sneezes, entire studio shakes) |
Space Ghost: | Crimony! What's the ruckus, Zorak? |
Zorak: | What ruckus? (Moltar sneezes again, studio shakes) |
Space Ghost: | That ruckus. |
Zorak: | Oh. Moltar's sick. (Moltar sneezes again) |
Space Ghost: | Bless you, Moltar. |
(Opening theme music & titles; part way through, Moltar sneezes again, and music & credits start fast-forwarding & rewinding, and playing at various speeds. Space Ghost invisos out & in again) | |
Space Ghost: | (laughs) (aside) That was odd. (aloud) Greetings! I am Space Ghost. (smiles, light glints off his teeth) My guests tonight are recording artist and "Tonight Show" band leader Branford Marsalis, and former "Partridge Family" member Danny Bona-, Bon-, Bonaduckie. |
Zorak: | Duce! |
Moltar: | (sneezes) |
Space Ghost: | Gesundheit! |
Moltar: | (snort) Thanks. |
Zorak: | (plays Space Ghost to his desk) |
Space Ghost: | Zorak, that... (final drum beat) was less than satisfactory. Explain yourself. |
Zorak: | I.. don't know. Don't look at me! |
Space Ghost: | I am looking at you. |
Zorak: | Well, don't. (Zorak & Space Ghost stare at each other; Zorak blinks) |
Space Ghost: | (Ding!) Hah! I win, Zorak! |
Zorak: | Grrrr... |
Space Ghost: | Okey-dokey! My first guest, unlike Zorak, is a talented musician. Please welcome Branford Marsalis. (monitor lowers, but bounces repeatedly) Moltar! Bad director! |
Moltar: | I can't control it. |
Space Ghost: | Have to use freeze ray. (Fires freeze ray at monitor, it finally stops bouncing) Okay now. No more slip-ups. Remember, this is a professional talk show. (someone drops a microphone, feedback ensues; Moltar coughs in background) (pause) Branford! |
Branford Marsalis: | Hey, Space Ghost. |
Space Ghost: | Hey right back at you, Branford. So how goes the "Tonight Show"? |
Branford Marsalis: | It's going pretty good, sir. |
Space Ghost: | That's terrific. Mazel tov! |
Branford Marsalis: | Thank you very much, Mr. Ghost. |
Space Ghost: | I see you're chewing gum. |
Zorak: | Gum? |
Moltar: | Gum? |
Zorak: | Gum! |
Space Ghost: | Did you bring enough everyone? |
Branford Marsalis: | No, but I'll have some shortly. |
Zorak: | No gum? |
Space Ghost: | So, do you enjoy being the "Tonight Show" band leader? |
Branford Marsalis: | Yeah. |
Space Ghost: | Is it fun? Do you enjoy working with Jay Leno? |
Branford Marsalis: | Yes, yes. |
Space Ghost: | In a way, you're like Ricky Ricardo, except without all that other stuff. |
Branford Marsalis: | Absolutely, absolutely. |
Space Ghost: | So, what evil crime have you committed against Jay Leno to become his band leader? |
Branford Marsalis: | I don't, I don't know. I would, I... I really don't think I've done anything wrong. |
Space Ghost: | (sound of gavel falling) Guilty! (crowd murmuring in background) So, what does Jay Leno do to help defend the universe? |
Branford Marsalis: | He doesn't do anything to help the universe. (laughs) |
Space Ghost: | This concerns me. So, what is he like, then? |
Branford Marsalis: | He has all the money, all the babes, all the cars. He's the host. He's just like you. |
Space Ghost: | Hardly! I keep the universe safe; he doesn't! And, I have more trophies. (smiles, light glints off his teeth again) |
Branford Marsalis: | Oh, I'll tell his you said that, and I'll tell his wife too. (glare from Space Ghost's teeth starts overloading the cameras) |
Zorak: | Space Ghost! Shut your big mouth! |
Moltar: | Aaaah! |
(Screen goes completely white, then goes black; then, a blue screen with a picture of Zorak and Moltar, and the words "WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES" appears, with background music; a short while later, the regular screen returns) | |
Announcer: | (voiceover) We now join Space Ghost Coast to Coast, already in progress. |
Space Ghost: | ... something crawling on the table... (looks up) Who was that? |
Moltar: | (sniffle) Some lady. |
Space Ghost: | (quietly) Alrighty. (normal voice) So, Branford, you have a new album! Tell us about it! |
Zorak: | Yeah, give us some gum! |
Branford Marsalis: | Yeah, it's a, it's a really nice album, it's a very dramatic departure from what I usually do. It's more like a, a pop album. |
Space Ghost: | Uh huh. |
Branford Marsalis: | There's a lot of strange mixes on there... |
Space Ghost: | Speaking of strange mixes, you know what I had for breakfast this morning? |
Branford Marsalis: | No, I don't. |
Space Ghost: | A sausage and mayonnaise soup, with a cream of corn omelet. (groans and grumbling voices in background) |
Moltar: | Oh, no, stop, don't! |
Space Ghost: | Some milk I left out in the sun for a week... |
Moltar: | (sounding nauseous) |
Branford Marsalis: | Oh, come on, don't do that, man! |
Space Ghost: | And some fuzzy bread. |
Moltar: | I'm gonna be sick! ("hurling" sounds) |
Space Ghost: | Moltar! Damage report! |
Moltar: | I just hurled in my helmet! |
Branford Marsalis: | Oh, man! |
Zorak: | Gross. |
Space Ghost: | I... think it's time to take a break (sound of a container being emptied) Moltar! Not in the control room! |
:INTERRUPT FEED | |
:START FEED | |
Space Ghost: | (playing "Sonic the Hedgehog" on monitor; exits game) Okay, we're back with Branford the Branford. |
Branford Marsalis: | Kick it. |
Space Ghost: | Branford, I wonder, does Doc Severinson ever show up and offer useless advice and mess with your horn section? |
Branford Marsalis: | Well, Doc gave me some really good advice right before, uh, the show started... |
Space Ghost: | (laughs) That Doc! You've gotta love him. |
Branford Marsalis: | Yeah, he's, he's, he's hype, he's dope, he's, he's crazy. |
Zorak: | (in "rapper" outfit, with "scratch" noises) Mrrrrr, stick 'em! |
Space Ghost: | (stares at Zorak) So, Branford, do you have musical knowledge to share with Zorak? |
Branford Marsalis: | Well, not the kind of knowledge you're referring to, but... (laughs) |
Space Ghost: | What's so funny? |
Branford Marsalis: | Oh, sorry, were you... nothing, were you saying something, Mr. Ghost? |
Zorak: | He was asking you, where's Zorak's gum? For me! Mine! My gum! Mine, not yours! |
Branford Marsalis: | Zorak, never eat anything larger than your head. (to Space Ghost) How's that? |
Space Ghost: | Not so good. |
Branford Marsalis: | (surprised) What do you mean? |
Space Ghost: | Would you care to join us for dinner after the show, Branford? |
Branford Marsalis: | Absolutely, what do we have, rabbit? |
Zorak: | I will eat your liver, with some fava beans and a fine Chianti. (sup sup sup sup sup) Oh, and some gum. |
Space Ghost: | Yeah, right, Zorak. You and what army? |
Zorak: | Ehhh, the Kiss Army. (Army voices: "Yeaaahhh! Destroy Rock City!") |
Space Ghost: | Er, right, right. (pause) Branford, I mean, Branford, before you go, will you scat? |
Branford Marsalis: | Well, it's gonna cost you, bro, you know I won two Grammies. |
Zorak: | (at desk with laser rifle) Make with the scatting (fires rifle) |
Branford Marsalis: | A one, a two, a one two three... (scats for 4 bars) (to Space Ghost) Go! |
Space Ghost: | (scats for 4 bars) |
Zorak: | (scats for 4 bars) Take it, Moltar! |
Moltar: | (tries to scat for a couple bars) Take it, Space Ghost. |
Space Ghost: | (scats again; Moltar sneezes, and Branford's image is replaced by Danny Bonaduce's) |
Moltar: | Space Ghost... (Space Ghost keeps scatting) Space Ghost! |
Space Ghost: | (stops) Hey, that's not Branford! It's that Partridge kid! |
Moltar: | (sniffle) We lost Branford. |
Zorak: | And the gum? (pause, then screams) |
Space Ghost: | Okay, everyone remain calm. |
Danny Bonaduce: | Hello? |
Zorak: | (finishes screaming) (to Moltar) You idiot! |
Moltar: | Sorry. |
Zorak: | Shut up! |
Danny Bonaduce: | Hello? |
Space Ghost: | Hello, citizen Danny! |
Zorak: | (in background) Shut up! |
Moltar: | (in background) Sorry. |
Space Ghost: | So, what have you been up to lately? |
Danny Bonaduce: | Hi, Space Ghost. Well, I, I've been very busy, but before I even say what I've been doing, let me just say I have been on with some of the biggest talk show hosts in the world... |
Zorak: | (to Moltar) What? |
Danny Bonaduce: | ... and this is an honor for me. |
Space Ghost: | Okay. |
Danny Bonaduce: | Just kidding! Ha! |
Space Ghost: | Listen, you have been in some trouble, haven't you, young man? In fact, you're very lucky to even be on my show. Don't you think you should thank me? |
Danny Bonaduce: | Ha ha ha ha ha... Very funny... |
Space Ghost: | I'm serious, Partridge. Thank me. |
Danny Bonaduce: | That makes me nervous. |
Space Ghost: | I'm waiting... |
Danny Bonaduce: | Thank you. |
Space Ghost: | Thank you, Space Ghost. |
Danny Bonaduce: | Thank you, Space Ghost. |
Space Ghost: | That's more like it. So, Danny boy, what super-power helped you battle the child star syndrome? |
Danny Bonaduce: | I used the power of invisibility. |
Space Ghost: | I have that. |
Danny Bonaduce: | Oh, no kidding! |
Space Ghost: | Would you use this super-power to help other child star victims? |
Zorak: | (to Moltar) Shut up! |
Danny Bonaduce: | No, because I have met other child star victims, and I've got to say that it's my opinion that they pretty much are getting what they deserve. |
Zorak: | Like Jan and Jace? |
Space Ghost: | Who? |
Zorak & Moltar: | (laugh) |
Space Ghost: | Danny, do you mind my asking how much you made from all those years as a Partridge? |
Danny Bonaduce: | I've got about eighty bucks and a lunchbox. |
Space Ghost: | That's it? That show made truckloads of cash! Boy, did you get rooked! |
Danny Bonaduce: | Shirley Jones, David Cassidy, that's where all the money went. |
Space Ghost: | It's pathetic how they treat talent in Hollywood. Right, uh, talent, personality, and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee. |
Zorak: | [No talent and no personality will get you a talk show] |
Space Ghost: | [Uhhhh...] Danny, what was your favorite thing about the seventies? |
Danny Bonaduce: | The beginning of the eighties. |
Zorak: | (in "punk" outfit) Whip it, whip it good! |
Space Ghost: | [Uhhhh...] Danny, what was your favorite Partridge Family song? |
Danny Bonaduce: | I actually have a couple. "Echo Valley 2-6809" was one of my favorites. By the way, if you call that, you actually get an old lady in Arizona, it's very cool. |
Old Lady: | (phone rings, she answers) Hello? Hello? Hello! |
Moltar: | (laughs, then coughs) |
Danny Bonaduce: | "I Woke Up In Love This Morning" (starts singing song) |
Space Ghost: | Ewww! Ewww! Joke's over! |
Danny Bonaduce: | Oh. |
Space Ghost: | I understand you're in radio now. Plug your station! |
Danny Bonaduce: | Um, let's see, uh... |
Space Ghost: | Wait for it... Go! |
Danny Bonaduce: | I work at -- (screen zaps, replaced by little girl playing a guitar & singing) |
Space Ghost: | Now what? |
Zorak: | Oh, um, sorry. I was sitting on the remote. |
Space Ghost: | (quietly) So, we lost Danny. That's okay. (screen zaps back) |
Danny Bonaduce: | Hello? |
Space Ghost: | Oh. You. |
Danny Bonaduce: | (laughs) |
Space Ghost: | Say, Danny the Danny? |
Danny Bonaduce: | Yes sir, Space Ghost? |
Space Ghost: | What did you want to become when you were a kid? |
Danny Bonaduce: | When I was a, a kid, I really only wanted two things. I wanted to be a policeman... |
Zorak: | [Lousy screw!] |
Danny Bonaduce: | ... and, uh, to punch out Donny Osmond, or really any member of the Osmond family. |
Zorak: | When I was a larvae, I wanted to be the all-powerful ruler of the universe! (crown appears on his head) |
Moltar: | Me too! (crown appears on his head also) |
Zorak: | And, to have some gum. |
Space Ghost: | Do you know what gum is? |
Zorak: | Nnnnnnnnnnno... But I want some! |
Danny Bonaduce: | Have you ever met Donny Osmond, Space Ghost? |
Space Ghost: | I'd... (crown appears on his head) I'd rather not talk about it. (crown disappears) |
Danny Bonaduce: | Got it! |
Space Ghost: | Danny, you sound rather hoarse. Perhaps you've got The Sick of Moltar! |
Moltar: | What? |
Space Ghost: | Maybe I should take a look. Say "Ahhhhh!" |
Danny Bonaduce: | Ah. |
Space Ghost: | Louder, please. |
Danny Bonaduce: | AaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! (glass breaks all over the studio, alarms go off) |
Space Ghost: | Okay, everyone remain calm. |
Zorak: | Space Ghost! (gets pulled out of his seat, flies across room) Wheeeee!! |
Danny Bonaduce: | You know, I, sort of after this, Leno sucks. |
(Credits roll) | |
Branford Marsalis: | (scats) |
Danny Bonaduce: | AaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! |
GUEST STARS Branford Marsalis Danny Bonaduce |
WRITERS Evan Dorkin Sarah Dyer |
EDITOR Michael Cahill |
ORIGINAL MUSIC Sonny Sharrock Eddie Horst |
MUSICIANS Sonny Sharrock Lance Carter Eddie Horst Alfrieda Gerald |
VOICES George Lowe C. Martin Croker Tanya Bergan |
DESIGN COMPANY DESIGNefx |
POST PRODUCTION FACILITIES BRICK HOUSE editorial |
AUDIO Turner Production Audio |
ON-LINE EDITOR Ken Brady |
ASSISTANT EDITOR Ken Cargile |
AUDIO ENGINEER Paige Lillard Jay Yeary |
ANIMATOR DIRECTOR C. Martin Croker |
TALENT COORDINATOR Tanya Bergan |
PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Matt Harrigan |
SPECIAL THANKS Hanna-Barbera Fred Seibert CNN Ken Chamberlain Dave Farmer Butterbean (inverted) Tom Roche Jeff Barron Dave Dubiel Jeff Flock Rob Hess Michael Maddox Roy Clements |
ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN Alex Toth |
PRODUCER Matthew Maiellaro |
PRODUCER Andy Merrill |
SENIOR PRODUCER Keith Crofford |
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Michael Lazzo |
© 1994 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
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