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Episode:11a
Title:Le Livre D'Histoire
Original Air Date:June 8, 1995
Guest Stars:Jim Carrey, Charles Russell, James Kirkconnell, Carl Clark

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:WAITING
(Opening titles, with classical music)
Lokar (L):
Bon soir, I am Lokar, potentate of thug locusts. (final theme music flourish) I'm sitting in for Space Ghost, who's visiting his mum in central Florida. Tonight I have some gems from the Space Ghost vault. Well, actually, these are not gems, they're just repackaged squalour contrived to occupy precious time on the network, thereby providing your infantile humanuory Space Ghost fix for the week. This eventide will manifest two uncommon chapters from the Space Ghost sequence. This maiden article is from a homestead video rele - Get these spiders off of me!!! (shakes his arm violently) Excuse me... There were some ar-r-rachnids in here... Anyway, it's quite beyond my discernment what you asinine humans think is so bleeding marvelous, bleeding marvelous, about the puerile Space Imbecile and his stupid pal Gr-r-reeny. R-r-roll, the cr-r-rap! Please don't jump on me, spiders.
(Flashback to Space Ghost's interview from the end of "The Mask" home video release)
Space Ghost (SG):
Alrighty! We have some interviews with the stars of "The Mask"! Look! Here comes Jim now!
Zorak (Z):
Ihh, his mask is better than yours.
SG:
Shut your yap, ya stupid cricket. Hello, Jim! Were you followed?
Jim Carrey (JC):
Uhhhh... No.
SG:
Good! Y'know, I just called Zorak a cricket, but he's really a mantis!
JC:
Oh really? He's really a mantis. Excellent.
Z:
Impersonate me!
JC:
(Does mantis impersonation) This kind of mantis?
SG:
Say, that's pretty good!
JC:
I used to love mantises. I used to love to, like, get a mantis and a grasshopper, put them in a jar and shake them up.
SG:
A grass-mantis shake? Now if only we knew where to find a big grasshopper!
Z:
Shut up!
JC:
Cool. Alright.
SG:
Hey Jim, can you impersonate me?
JC:
(makes humming-whistling sound effect)
SG:
Childish.
JC:
I love the killer ray, man.
SG:
And it loves you!
JC:
Really?
SG:
Yes! But love it carefully, it's a very delicate instrument.
JC:
It doesn't just go off, every once in awhile, and just swat somebody?
SG:
Nooo... (his destructo ray goes off, burning Zorak to a crisp)
SG:
I... meant to do that.
Z:
Eh... uh...
JC:
Oh, man!
SG:
He'll live, he always does. So, do you love my mask as well, citizen Mask?
JC:
Space Ghost's mask is e-, is excellent. But where are the ears, man?
SG:
Don't need 'em. I read lips.
JC:
Excellent.
SG:
What? What?! (laughs)
JC:
Cool. Alright.
SG:
I hear (get it? hear?) that you can make your heart beat out of your chest. Do it!
JC:
Uhhh, that's just really a side effect from the drugs.
SG:
Drugs are bad!
JC:
Cool. Alright.
SG:
I've never taken drugs.
JC:
Quit braggin'!
SG:
Sorry.
JC:
Alright.
SG:
Do you have any words of wisdom to tell the universe?
JC:
To the universe?
SG:
No, to the universe!
JC:
Uhhhh, n-, uhhhh, yeah, um, no.
SG:
Bye then!
JC:
Cool. Alright.
SG:
Whatever. (zaps Jim off monitor)
Z:
(still crisped) Emmm... mmmm...
SG:
I'm really sorry, Zorak. I didn't mean to...
Z:
Ehhh, sure, Space Ghost.
SG:
(Pong game is on monitor) It just went off! Really!
Z:
Sure it did. Ihhh.
Charles Russell (CR):
(in the control room) Did he have a sidekick or something?
Moltar (M):
What, you mean those teens? (laughs) They're history!
CR:
That's cool.
SG:
My next guest is Charles Russell! He directed "The Mask"! (Charles appears on monitor) Citizen Charles! Welcome to the show!
CR:
Thank you very much.
SG:
I can be an actor! I've got the look!
CR:
Oh, well, the yellow cape is good, I like yellow a lot...
SG:
Me too!
CR:
We have a nice, banana yellow zoot suit in "Mask".
SG:
Bananas are a good source of potassium!
CR:
That's true.
SG:
So very, very true!
CR:
(looks at Space Ghost)
SG:
So, what about the rest of my suit?
CR:
It's strong, it's powerful, but I think it's time for Space Ghost to break out.
SG:
I like the way you think, Chuck!
CR:
I think I might wanna do something with the wardrobe, I think, oh, I think I might wanna do something, maybe, with a little more color.
SG:
You wanna paint me up all green like the "Mask" guy?
CR:
The truth, though, is that Jim Carrey actually is green.
SG:
Zorak is green... with evil!
CR:
I think having an evil bandleader is always a plus, because it gives you that special edge to the music.
SG:
Yeah, whatever. We're not here to talk about music, Chuck. We're here to talk about me, and my talk show on the Cartoon Network, which airs Friday nights at 11pm Eastern Standard Time! ("Shameless Self Promotion" flashes at bottom of screen again)
CR:
Although, Space Ghost, I must say that I've enjoyed some of your earlier work in particular...
SG:
That was nothin'! I was typecast!
CR:
But, Tex, Tex Avery, uh... Chuck Jones...
SG:
Those guys are old school! I was typecast! Don't you get that?!
CR:
(looks back in silence)
SG:
I kept getting super-hero parts, saving galaxies... I wanted more heroic roles! Like... like Lassie!
CR:
Uh, I've always been bored with Lassie, who...
SG:
Bored with Lassie?! Lassie's king!
Z:
Yeah! Lassie's king!
CR:
Did he have a sidekick or something?
Z:
(under his breath) Lassie-hater.
SG:
Normally, I'd ask you if you had any final words for the universe, but we're out of time for you, because now I must plug my show! "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" airs only on The Cartoon Network!
L:
(talking over Space Ghost) Isn't that funny?! Isn't that jovial?! Look! Look, he's so pr-r-recious! All right, would some personage out there please elucidate me, what in the name of all that's dear was so capricious about that piece? Ohhhh! Comedy! I see! Cahhhh-me-dy! Yesss! Let's probe that word, shall we? Comedy: popular distraction comprised of revelry, jape, jest, or humourous, humourous performance. Frankly, I find more drollery in a r-r-regional neighbourhood r-r-renaissance festival, than in this Space Ghost cr-r-rap! I shall return after this aaaaAAAA! Get away from... Stop touching, aaaaAAAA! ... a-, after this message from the guarantor.
:INTERRUPT FEED
:START FEED
L:
When it all comes down to it, this ensuing scrap of offal would be my peculiar pampered darling. Why, you may ask? Well, I shall tell you. This singular episode, christened "Storybook House", with Kirk the Storyteller and Carl the Cartoonist, rankled the invariant Space Ghost beholder to the extreme. R-r-roll, the cr-r-rap, please!
(Black and white drawing of Space Ghost's set; classical guitar music plays in background)
Kirk the Storyteller (KTS):
Welcome to the amazing tales, of the classic superhero Space Ghost, who has entertained young and old for generations. I'm Kirk the Storyteller, and I'll be your narrator. Carl the Cartoonist will help me tell the stories by drawing pictures as we go along.
(Group of kids surround Carl; they suddenly whirl around and face camera)
The scene for our first story is set in the future, and features Space Ghost, and his adversaries Moltar and Zorak. We are in Moltar's control room, where Moltar and Zorak scheme to defeat Space Ghost. Zorak asks where Space Ghost is, and Moltar replies that he's in the back with his new sea monkey kit.
We now see Space Ghost reading from a sheet of directions. He reads that now he has created an adorable home, for sea monkeys. "Open the pouch," the directions read. "It contains sea monkey pellets. Pour them into the bowl, and in just minutes your sea monkeys will flourish with life."
Meantime, Zorak, on the monitor in the control room, is up to mischief as he speaks an incantation: "Lombaak ecree oplom ah-plee ozona ah-ah." "What is that?" asks Moltar. Zorak replies, it is a spell from his new book, The Joy of Incantations. It gives him power over Space Ghost's mind.
Meantime, before the bowl where Space Ghost is creating his sea monkeys, he continues to read the direction sheet. "Soon," he reads, "you will be able to observe your sea monkeys, as they make families, have dinner, purchase fine autos, and perform other daily life activities, all within the domain of the sea monkey bowl!"
Back in the control room, Moltar explains it's time to get the Space Ghost. He broadcasts for Space Ghost to return to the set. Space Ghost has heard the message, and he says to his sea monkeys, "I have to go, sea monkeys! Here, have one of my special supervitamins!" And now, on his show set, Space Ghost greets his audience. "Greetings, I'm Space Ghost! And joining me on the show are rap artist Schooly D, and "Weird Al" Yankovic. Say hello, Schooly! Say hello, Al!"
(doing a Schooly voice) "Hey, whassup, man, I'm all right! How ya doin'?"
And then Zorak comes forward and speaks his evil incantation: "Lombaak ecree oplom ah-plee ozona ah-ah." The Space Ghost loses control, as Zorak commands him to say something stupid! Space Ghost asks if they would like him to swallow a live mollusk!
Space Ghost then turns to Schooly, and says that to further demonstrate his powers, he will show Schooly his bowl of sea monkeys.
"Look at these monkeys! One of them, whom I have named Banjo, will become the King of the Sea Monkeys! Now watch this. Banjo, jump out of the bowl and show yourself to us! Now, Banjo, you've got a lot of growing to do."
Banjo grows rapidly, under Space Ghost's superpowers.
Now Al Yankovic joins them, saying that he too has magic powers. For example, he can turn red traffic lights green, just by staring at them! Space Ghost laughs; he says that that is enough to get him on the show!
And now Zorak, alive again, appears... and menaces him.
Banjo the sea monkey, who has grown to enormous size, comes to the rescue, displaying his own superpowers. Banjo shoots a laser at Zorak, (laser sound effect) and Zorak is destroyed, once and for all.
However, Space Ghost says that despite Banjo's help, the sea monkey is a danger to everyone. Banjo, as he grows ever larger, will possess too much power. Space Ghost shoots a ray, and destroys Banjo.
Now Space Ghost regrets his action. "Why," he says, "do we always hurt the one we love? Why, Banjo? Why? Banjo! Banjo! Baaannjo!"
And so we conclude this amazing story of the classic superhero, Space Ghost. This is Kirk the Storyteller, saying that we'll be back in a minute with another story.
L:
(talking over ending of Kirk's story) That doesn't make sense. Well, that's it, then. Space Ghost is cr-r-rap. Now, I can understand you'd obviously prefer to slurp from my well of artistic endeavour. So here for you now, I present an ambrosia morsel of my neo-terric travail that I've entitled "America's Funniest Funny Videos!" Stand by for boisterous mirth!
(Voiceover during credits) Oh, hohoho! Oh, look at that! Oh! Oh, god! Oh my goodness! Ohh, that is so.. Oh! (laughter) Oh, no, not the street, not walking down... oh, look, he's turned around and he's walking.. Oh! (laughter) Oh, that girl sitting! Reading a book! I didn't know Americans could read! (laughter) Oh, he's just wiped his hands on the, on the thing, with the you got the thing on the (laughter), oh, jolly good.

GUEST STARS
Jim Carrey
Charles Russell
James Kirkconnell
Carl Clark
WRITERS
Matthew Maiellaro
Chris Feresten
James Kirkconnell
Andy Merrill
MUSIC
Sonny Sharrock
Eddie Horst
Rob Fielding
EDITORS
(inverted) Tom Roche
Michael Cahill
VOICES
Andy Merrill
George Lowe
C. Martin Croker
DESIGN COMPANY
DESIGNefx
ANIMATION DIRECTOR
C. Martin Croker
SOUND DESIGN
Roy Clements
AUDIO ENGINEERS
Paige Lillard
Roy Clements
CAMERA
Hugues Cormier
DIRECTOR
Andy DeLeo
TECHNICAL DIRECTOR
Narinder Channa
PRODUCTION ASSISTANT
Gus Jordan
SPECIAL THANKS
Hanna-Barbera
Barry Mills
Butterbean
Khaki Jones
New Line Cinema
Sacha & Eric Adams
ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN
Alex Toth
PRODUCER
Matt Harrigan
PRODUCER
Keith Crofford
PRODUCER
Michael Lazzo

© 1995 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.


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