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|Original Air Date:||August 7, 1997|
|Guest Stars:||Judy Tenuta, Bobcat Goldthwait|
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(Opening theme & titles)
Tansut: Greetings, this is Tansut, welcoming you to the first ever Space Ghost Coast to Coast 37th show anniversary celebration spectacular-mathon. Tonight, funny man Bobcat Goldthwait, and funny woman Judy Tenuta. And now, your friend and mine, that ghost host with the most, Spaaace Ghooost!
Space Ghost: (invisos in, coughing) Greetings, TV-watching citizens! I am Space Ghost, and I'm tickled pink to be here!
Zorak: Tickled stupid, you mean.
Space Ghost: (stares at Zorak, sniffs) Before we begin, let me introduce you to the director of tonight's festivities, that fabulous hot rock himself, Moltar!
Moltar: Hey, don't get up, really.
Space Ghost: And, over here, we have my band leader, and indentured mantis-servant, Zorak, and the Original Way Outs! (Way Outs play a synthesized excerpt from "William Tell Overature") And we'd like to welcome you to... (takes deep breath) The first ever Space Ghost anniversary spectacular-mathon, uh, show.
Zorak: Whoop de doodle do!
Space Ghost: You know, kids, tonight is a special notch in the belt that is the Space Ghost saga.
Zorak: Ehhh, Space Ghost, what anniversary is this, anyway?
Space Ghost: Weren't you listening, Zorak? It's my 37th show anniversary! (smile sparkles)
Zorak: I never heard of anybody celebrating their 37th anniversary before! It's dopey.
Space Ghost: It's not dopey! It's our 37th show! That's an anniversary, right? Darn tootin' it is! So, hap-hap-happy anniversary it is, and shut up Zorak, because you're not gonna rain on my charade.
Tansut: Well, I don't know what I'm doing here, either.
Zorak: (looks around)
Space Ghost: (looks around)
Tansut: (in recording booth, behind a window) They called me twenty minutes ago, shoved these notes in my hand, what do they expect? (microphone feedback increases in volume) Buncha morons!
Moltar: Uh, Tansut?
Tansut: Let 'em fire me, I don't care.
Moltar: Uh, your mike's on, man.
Tansut: Ohhhhh, fluff! Nobody showed me how to do this! (feedback increases again) (finally turns microphone off)
Space Ghost: Oh-kay! Let's get on with it, shall we? (invisos to desk, with new music) (Ding dong!) Say, I wonder who that could be?
Moltar: It's your first anniversary guest, Space Ghost, funny lady Judy Tenuta (she appears on control room monitor)
Judy Tenuta: I'm ready, honey!
Space Ghost: Judy! Welcome back to the show!
Judy Tenuta: Oh-h-h-h-h-h! Space Ghost! I'm so excited!
Space Ghost: Me too!
Zorak: Oooh! Me too!
Space Ghost: So, Judy gal, what have you been doing since I last saw you?
Judy Tenuta: Oh! Space Ghost, as you know, I rule the western hemisphere!
Space Ghost: That's nice, must keep you busy.
Judy Tenuta: (plays accordion and sings) I rule, I rule, I rule.
Space Ghost: Uh, Judy...
Judy Tenuta: Yeah!?
Space Ghost: Stuff a sock in it, Tenuta.
Judy Tenuta: (dances with accordion, to weird background sound)
Space Ghost: Judy, I've asked you to come back to celebrate my anniversary with me! Now, celebrate!
Judy Tenuta: Ohhh...
Space Ghost: Don't sing, Judy.
Judy Tenuta: (plays accordion and sings) Happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy anniversary, Spaaaace Ghost! Oh-h-h-h-h-h! (spins around)
Space Ghost: (grimaces)
Judy Tenuta: Look at this! (swings her accordion up with her chest, then sits down)
Zorak: Must I?
Judy Tenuta: I can make myself invisible. You cannot see me now! (puts her hands in front of her face)
Space Ghost: Uh, yes I can.
Judy Tenuta: No-o-o-o-o! You cannot...
Space Ghost: Yes I can! (aims his power bands at monitor)
Judy Tenuta: No! His rays cannot harm me, no-o-o!
Space Ghost: (lowers his power bands, sighs)
Judy Tenuta: (shaking her head back and forth, singing) Hair dance, hair dance, don't be a square, dance! Hair dance!
Space Ghost: (stares back silently)
Judy Tenuta: (full face on monitor, puckering for Space Ghost) (Smoooooch!)
Space Ghost: Hmmm. Okay, I think it's time for Judy Jetson here to blast off.
Moltar: Gotcha. (throws lever to send her away)
Judy Tenuta: (still on studio monitor) Oh, you pig!
Space Ghost: Aaah! Moltar!
Moltar: I know, I know. (throws more levers, control room monitor changes several times, finally shows Tansut's booth)
Tansut: Uh, excuse me. Are we going to commercial now?
Space Ghost: No!
Tansut: Oh, sorry, don't mind me. (Moltar throws lever, control room monitor shows static)
Space Ghost: (Ding dong!) Aha! Our next guest! (sniff sniff sniff sniff) Hey! I smell evil!
Moltar: Space Ghost...
Chad Ghostal: (evil laugh)
Moltar: ... It's your evil twin brother.
Space Ghost: Aaaaah! Can't talk, Chad, I have a hernia!
Chad Ghostal: Hey hey, relax, baby, like, I'm not here to spread terror.
Chad Ghostal: I just wanted to swing by and check out the old Ghost Pad. You know, I had a real blast the last time I saw you, Taddles. A real blast. (evil laugh)
Space Ghost: Yeah, I bet you did. You and that creepy Elvira woman, pawwing each other. Yuck!
Chad Ghostal: Oh, forget that chick, Taddy Bear, I already did. I'm looking for some new action, you dig? Some new kicks, know what I mean, butterbean?
Space Ghost: Not a whiff, Chad.
Chad Ghostal: Then let me clue ya, Tadville. I want to host the show again. (evil laugh)
Space Ghost: Oh no, no no no no no!
Chad Ghostal: Okay Tad, be that way. Now I'm glad I left that surprise for you in your futon this morning. (evil laugh) B'da b'da! (evil laugh)
Space Ghost: Oh, that was you, huh?
Chad Ghostal: Well, I'll be in touch. Later, cats 'n kittens! (purrs) (barks)
Moltar & Zorak: (in unison) Bye, Chad!
Zorak: I like your brother.
Space Ghost: You do not!
Judy Tenuta: (reappears on monitor) Look at my cheekbones!
Space Ghost: Aaaaah! Moltar, break!
Tansut: (groans) Ten pounds of sausage in a five pound sack!
Tansut: Oh, uh, coming up next, more stuff!
Tansut: (sings) Welcome back! (normal voice) Oooh! Hey! I nailed that one!
Space Ghost: (Ding dong!) What now, Birdman?
Moltar: Relax, man, it's Bobcat. He's cool. (Bobcat is on control room monitor, waves at Moltar)
Space Ghost: Ladies and gentlemen, it's special anniversary guest Bobcat Goldthwait.
Bobcat Goldthwait: I tell ya, it's really been great here, to be back here, Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: It's great to have you. So, it's my 37th show anniversary, Bobcat.
Bobcat Goldthwait: You should slap yourself on the back.
Zorak: He should slap himself in the face.
Space Ghost: (slaps himself in the face)
Bobcat Goldthwait: (laugh, then shrieking laugh, then starts to cry)
Space Ghost: So, Bob-a-rella, did ya bring me anything special for my anniversary?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Oh, I brought you many things. (pause)
Space Ghost: (smiles at camera)
Bobcat Goldthwait: I'm lyin', man, what can I get ya, you don't even wear slacks or trousers or pants, you know...
Space Ghost: Oh, that's okay, just as long as you don't sing me a stupid song or anything.
Bobcat Goldthwait: (starts making gibbering noises, shaking his head back and forth)
Moltar: Look out, I think he's gonna sing!
Space Ghost: He's not gonna sing, Moltar. You're.. not gonna sing, are you, Bobcat?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yes I am.
Space Ghost: Ohhh brother.
Zorak: Sing! Sing, you fool! Sing like a maniac! (shakes his arm)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Okay. (takes a deep breath, then shouts) SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, AGH AGH AGH AGH AGH!
Space Ghost: (sighs)
Bobcat Goldthwait: Could you buy the sincerity of that? Yeah, I, it really worked for me.
Zorak: Hmmmm, it had a good beat, and I could kill you to it. I give it a 75. (holding a sign with "75")
Bobcat Goldthwait: I'm tellin' ya, I'm gonna get up, and I'm gonna dope-slap that bug.
Moltar: Fine! Fine!
Space Ghost: Be my guest, Bobcat! Dope-slap away!
Bobcat Goldthwait: Zorak, I'm gonna dope-slap ya!
Zorak: (mocking) O-o-o-o-h, I'm so frightened!
Bobcat Goldthwait: (makes face at Zorak) (to Space Ghost) How did you get a show with a cricket?
Zorak: I'm a loc-, er, mantis!
Bobcat Goldthwait: Apparently, in, somewhere in show business, you shoulda went paper instead of scissors.
Zorak: Yeah, look who's talking, the talk show arsonist!
Bobcat Goldthwait: I'm serious, I will, I will clean that bug's clock so fast!
Space Ghost: Zorak!
Bobcat Goldthwait: You just tell him that, I, I, I personally put two of the Bugaloos in the hospital.
Space Ghost: I think he heard you.
Bobcat Goldthwait: (exaggerated wink)
Space Ghost: Um, look, Bobby-cat, I apologize about the bug.
Bobcat Goldthwait: Alright. Yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah!
Space Ghost: I try to make him behave, but...
Bobcat Goldthwait: (looks to his right) Am I done, is that enough community service? (looks front and nods)
Space Ghost: (sighs) Any last words of anniversary wisdom for the little people at home?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah. (pounds fist into his palm) You gotta make your own fun, Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: Great.
Bobcat Goldthwait: You gotta make your own fun.
Space Ghost: I tried to make my own fun, look what it got me! Happy anniversary to me!
Bobcat Goldthwait: (sticks his tongue out at Space Ghost)
Space Ghost: Whoop de doo. Moltar, are we done?
Moltar: Uh, we still got that cheap clip thing.
Space Ghost: That's right! This should be great, folks. It's a sparkling career retrospective to me! Space Ghost! Roll 'em!
Moltar: (throws lever, countdown begins)
(Title screen shows: "OUR MAN SPACE GHOST / THE DIRECTOR'S CUT", followed by numerous "Space Ghost" cartoon clips of him getting blasted, pounded, frozen, slammed, by numerous enemies)
Space Ghost: That was no sparkling tribute! That was terrible! That was... yuck! What in the name of Vic Tayback was that?
Moltar: A montage.
Space Ghost: (French voice) Montage! French, hah? Well, that explains that, no, Moltar? (normal voice) Those French, they ruin everything! I mean, you give them an entire Disneyland, and they can't even make a dime off it. Even purple-butted baboons couldn't screw up a Disneyland! Hmmm! I tell ya, one day I oughta do somethin' about them French.
Zorak: (French voice) I dare you! I double dare you!
Space Ghost: Okay, I will! See if I don't! (flies off)
Bobcat Goldthwait: (still making faces on the monitor)
(Phantom Cruiser flying in space)
Space Ghost: (in cockpit) Ruin my anniversary, will ya?
(Night scene of Paris, Eiffel Tower in center)
Voice: (with French accent) Look out! It is zee Space Ghost! (Phantom Cruiser ray blasts city)
Space Ghost: Take that, you cheese eaters!
(Blasts city again, crisps Eiffel tower; blast city around Arc de Triomphe, city is in flames, people are screaming)
Zorak: (French voice) Well, zat ees zat! Au reservoir, mon-sewers!
Moltar: Bon soir! (throws lever, clip of Space Ghost being pounded into the ground reappears on monitor; title: Fin)
(French accordion music in background)
Tansut: (in French voice) You've been watching the Space Ghost Anniversary Spectacular-mathon, celebrating thirty-seven or so episodes of talk show whatchamacallit. From all of us here, to all of you, bon oui, what you say, a good night.
Bobcat Goldthwait: (shrieking laugh)
(inverted) Tom Roche
C. Martin Croker
Big Deal Cartoons
C. Martin Croker
|INK & PAINT|
|SPACE GHOST'S MALE SECRETARY|
|ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN|
© 1997 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
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