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BEGIN TRANSMISSION

(Space Ghost and Zorak fly in Phantom Cruiser)

Space Ghost: (hums the opening guitar riff from "Sweet Home Alabama" over and over and over and...)

(Opening theme & titles, with voiceover)

Tansut: Greetings, this is Tansut, welcoming you to another edition of "Space Ghost Coast to Coast". Tonight, Space Ghost yuks it up with reggae roustabout Jimmy Cliff, and musician Jack Logan. Did I read that right? "Yuk"? What does that mean? Maybe I should just amend it right here. No? Oh, keep on going? And now, a grown man in leotards, and I think he feels pretty sassy about it, Spaaaace Ghoooost!

Space Ghost: (invisos in) Greetings, citizens! I'm Space Ghost! On my show tonight, I'll be probing (winks) a couple of top notch musicians to find out what makes them tick.

Zorak: Tick?

Space Ghost: Yes, tick.

Zorak: Tick, you say?

Space Ghost: Yes, Zorak, tick.

Zorak: I got it.

Space Ghost: Good.

(Way Outs play Space Ghost to his desk)

Space Ghost: (invisos in to desk, his seat is much lower than normal) (That's strange; the desk seems much higher tonight. Unless...) Hey, who's been messing with my chair?

Zorak: (evil laugh)

Space Ghost: The seat is still warm! Zorak, were you sitting in my chair?

Zorak: It's not sticky, is it?

Space Ghost: Uh... no.

Zorak: Nnno then.

Space Ghost: I don't believe you.

Zorak: I'm Egyptian!

Space Ghost: Oh, no you're not!

Zorak: Baaah!

Space Ghost: Listen, Zorak, the chair's still warm, so I know it had to be you or Moltar.

Zorak: Wasn't me, friend.

Space Ghost: Oh yeah?

Zorak: Eh, I don't know, whatever.

Space Ghost: (operates pneumatic control, raising chair) Moltar, were you sitting in my chair?

Zorak: I'm Egyptian!

Space Ghost: Oh, hush! (pause) Moltar!

Moltar: Space Ghost!

Space Ghost: Were you sitting in my chair?

Moltar: I was?

Space Ghost: Were you?

Moltar: What are you talkin' about?

Space Ghost: I'm not talkin' about anything, I'm asking you if you were sitting here!

Moltar: Oh, okay.

Space Ghost: So, were you or not?

Moltar: In your chair, right?

Space Ghost: Right.

Moltar: That's what I thought.

Space Ghost: (stares in silence)

Zorak: "Tick", you say?

Space Ghost: That's right, Zorak, tick.

Zorak: Mmmm, like a time bomb tick?

Space Ghost: No, more like my Mickey Mouse watch. A nice tick!

Zorak: Time bombs are nice. Tick tick tick... Boom! Tick tick tick... Boom!

Moltar: Hey, Space Ghost!

Space Ghost: What is it, Moltar?

Moltar: You know, there's also an insect called a tick. It's small, but can cause a very grave illness.

Space Ghost: (Illness is bad.)

Moltar: It's actually a parasite, which, uh, means it receives nourishment from its host...

Space Ghost: (interrupting) Yes, thank you Moltar. Anyway, on tonight's program, singer / songwriter / swimming pool motor repairman Jack Logan is here. Along with bongo man / something else probably, reggae legend Jimmy Cliff. Now, that's a lot of s's. S... s... Moltar, I think there's something wrong with my sibilance. Ssssibilance... Sssibilance... Ssssssssssssibilance.

Moltar: Hi Jimmy.

Jimmy Cliff: Hi.

Moltar: I'm so tired. I haven't slept a wink.

Jimmy Cliff: Oh. Um, wonderful.

(Moltar throws lever, sends Jimmy to studio monitor)

Jimmy Cliff: (sings as monitor lowers)

Space Ghost: Ladies and gentlemen, reggae legend Jimmy Cliff. Welcome to my show, o Bongo Man.

Jimmy Cliff: Alright. Thank you.

Space Ghost: You're welcome. So, what do you think of the big show? Pretty fancy, eh?

Jimmy Cliff: Very interesting.

Space Ghost: Hmm. "Interesting" good, or "interesting" bad?

Jimmy Cliff: So far, so good. Still enjoying myself.

Space Ghost: "Enjoying yourself" good, or "enjoying yourself" bad?

Jimmy Cliff: Yes. (laughs)

Space Ghost: (laughs) I see. Now Jimmy, my belly is full, but I'm hungry.

Jimmy Cliff: Uh huh.

Space Ghost: And a hungry mon is an angry mon.

Jimmy Cliff: Good. Alright, I'll remember that.

Space Ghost: So James, tell me everything you've been doing lately.

Jimmy Cliff: I've been recording...

Space Ghost: Okay.

Jimmy Cliff: ... for my new album.

Space Ghost: Okay.

Jimmy Cliff: I've been writing...

Space Ghost: Oh-kay.

Jimmy Cliff: ... and I've been doing a few shows...

Space Ghost: Mmm-kay.

Jimmy Cliff: ... particularly in South America.

Space Ghost: No kidding? South America?

Jimmy Cliff: Uh huh.

Space Ghost: I love South America! Y'know, Jimmy, that's the land of the great Delta Blues men. You know, Muddy Rivers, Crew Cut Johnson, Blind Orange Julius. All the great blues men are from South America.

Jimmy Cliff: (pause) My new album is called "Higher and Higher".

Space Ghost: Alright.

Jimmy Cliff: It's a mixture of some of my...

Space Ghost: (interrupts) Carryin' me home to my kin? Singing songs about the South land... I miss Alabamy once again. Turn it up!

Jimmy Cliff: (looks back in silence)

Space Ghost: Jimmy, can I ask you something?

Jimmy Cliff: Uh huh.

Space Ghost: It's a question, is that okay?

Jimmy Cliff: Yes.

Space Ghost: Do you think I'm Irish?

Jimmy Cliff: Give, give the what?

Space Ghost: Do you think I'm Irish?

Zorak: Irie.

Space Ghost: Irie, yes. Do you think I'm irie.

Jimmy Cliff: (laughs) You're very well on your way, yes.

Space Ghost: Is that good? I don't actually know what 'irie' means. All I know is that it has something to do with St. Patrick's Day, in that I'm supposed to wear my green cape that day.

Jimmy Cliff: Irie... is to rule... one's internal.

Space Ghost: I'm in touch with the beat of the Caribbean.

Jimmy Cliff: So irie means "I rule, I internally".

Space Ghost: Hey, Zorak, guess what? I'm irie.

Zorak: Guess what? You're an idiot.

Space Ghost: (stares at Zorak) How about Zorak, Jimmy? I figure with that green shell, he's gotta have some irie blood in him.

Zorak: Forward and Fiaca, menacle and den gosaca.

(Reggae music begin playing in background)

Jimmy Cliff: (sings; fades from the monitor)

Space Ghost: (sings poorly)

INTERRUPT TRANSMISSION

RESUME TRANSMISSION

Moltar: (talking to Jack on control room monitor) Well, let's see; my calculator collection; my autographed copy of "The Celestine Prophecy"; a sleeve or two of Oreos, and a box of Kleenex.

Jack Logan: (laughs)

Moltar: Well, how about you? What do you keep underneath your bed?

Jack Logan: Uh, magazines wrapped in plastic, of dead people.

Moltar: That's awesome! Dead people crack me up! Hey, Jack, you know what?

Jack Logan: What's that?

Moltar: (quietly) Sometimes I like to wrap myself up in plastic.

Jack Logan: (laughs) Oh, I gotta be going.

Space Ghost: My next guess sings songs about motors and sprockets, and we couldn't be happier to have him here. Identify yourself, please.

Jack Logan: (lowering on studio monitor) Jack Logan, uh, motor repairman, singer.

Space Ghost: Welcome, Jack.

Jack Logan: Great to be here, Space Ghost.

Space Ghost: Let me begin with a serious question, Jackie boy.

Jack Logan: Okay, yeah, sure.

Space Ghost: How about this pantsuit I'm sporting? Rather smart looking, is it not?

Jack Logan: Is that the same one, or do you have like a big closet full of 'em, or... how does that work?

Space Ghost: I have several, and I rotate.

Jack Logan: (laughs) I though so, I, you know, I didn't know if there was some special material that deflects dirt...

Space Ghost: Oh, but it is. It's a space-age material called spandex.

Jack Logan: (laughs) Okay. And, the shape of your head is amazing.

Space Ghost: Like a bullet.

Jack Logan: Yeah. (laughs)

Space Ghost: It intimidates.

Jack Logan: I could see why, it's very, it's intimidating, but very attractive.

Space Ghost: You find my jaw attractive?

Jack Logan: Yeah, yeah, very strong, you know, I've got, like, clay, you know, it just looks like, you know, very weak chin. I saw it, I'm a little jealous.

Space Ghost: You like my cut, do you?

Jack Logan: Your cut?

Space Ghost: Yes, I'm cut like a rock.

Jack Logan: You are, you're very solid.

Space Ghost: Dense, like a loaf of turkey roll.

Jack Logan: All muscle too, I bet.

Zorak: I'll take that bet.

Space Ghost: Aw, go tune yourself, Zorak.

Zorak: I'm Egyptian!

Space Ghost: Pay no attention to him, Jack. He's evil.

Jack Logan: (laughs) Well, he's kinda here against his will, right?

Space Ghost: Yes he is. He and Moltar were very bad, and I locked them up. Have you met Moltar?

Jack Logan: Yeah, I've, I've seen him. (laughs) He's very quiet, isn't he?

Space Ghost: (laughs) A little slow upstairs.

Moltar: Hey!

Space Ghost: But enough about them. We were talking about my chin.

Jack Logan: Do you have a ray that can tighten up my chin, and take some off the nose...

Space Ghost: Silly citizen, rays are for superheroes!

Jack Logan: Okay, well, yeah, have me back on the show when you get...

Space Ghost: Silly citizen, raysss... raysss... are for superheroesss sss sss... Hey Moltar, nice work on the sibilance, buddy. I don't know what you did, but it's much better.

Moltar: Yeah, I turned the, uh... thing.

Space Ghost: So, Jack-a-roo, let's take a few seconds to talk about your new album. Are you ready? (':00.0' appears at bottom of screen) Begin.

Jack Logan: (time starts counting up, with clock ticking sound) Uh, that's our latest record, it's been out for about five or six months...

Space Ghost: (interrupts) Hey, Jack Logan, look what I can do! (blasts Zorak)

Jack Logan: Wow, cool.

Space Ghost: Yeah, it's quite a rush.

Jack Logan: He's a very funny bug.

Space Ghost: You think Zorak's funny?

Jack Logan: Yeah, I, I think he is. And the little guy too, or is he dead now?

Space Ghost: The little dead guy?

Jack Logan: Oh, the... his little buddy.

Space Ghost: Raymond?

Jack Logan: Raymond, yes. (laughs)

Space Ghost: Zorak's nephew.

Jack Logan: His nephew, yeah.

Space Ghost: History.

Jack Logan: (laughs) Well, I shouldn't have brought that up, I'm sorry.

Zorak: I'm not.

Raymond: (muffled voice, from within Zorak) Somebody save me! I'm still alive! Somebody save me!

Zorak: (talking over Raymond's yelling) Oh, uh, la la la la, la la la, nobody can hear, la la la la la...

Space Ghost: Oh-kay, Jack Logan. Now, do I understand correctly that in addition to being a musician, you're also a mechanic?

Jack Logan: Right, uh, yeah.

Space Ghost: Have you ever worked on a Phantom Cruiser?

Jack Logan: No, no, I'd be interested to take a crack at one.

Space Ghost: Yeah, been havin' some trouble with the helix compressor. I think there may be a short in the binomal oxidation tank, but I can't seem to get around the nancor valve.

Jack Logan: Oh, okay, okay, yeah. I think you can bypass that.

Space Ghost: Bypass the nancor valve? How are we gonna bypass the nancor valve?

Jack Logan: It's, it's illegal, but... you know, you can get away with it.

Space Ghost: Illegal?

Jack Logan: Yeah, yeah.

Space Ghost: Excuse me, son, why would I want to "get away with" something that is illegal?

Jack Logan: (looks back silently)

Space Ghost: (starts blinking his left eye) Uh oh. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I've got something in my eye. Stop the show.

(Credits roll)

Space Ghost: What's goin' on with you, Moltar? What, you hit your head or somethin'?

Moltar: I was, uh, out dancing last night. (pause) Dancing.

Space Ghost: (blink)

© 1997 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.

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