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Original Air Date:October 9, 1997
Guest Stars:Ice-T, Ernie-C, Fred Willard

Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed

(Space Ghost and Zorak are dining, classical music plays in the background)
Zorak:Mmm! These watercress sandwiches are splendid!
Space Ghost:Do you like them? I made them with extra water.
Zorak:So that's the secret!
Space Ghost:I've composed some light verse to accompany our reverie. Shall I recite it?
Zorak:That would be divine.
Space Ghost:A bug on a rug
Drank from a mug.
I felt a tug.
(pause, squeaks mug)
Give me a hug.
Zorak:I adore the rhyme scheme.
Space Ghost:Let us engage in a spirited philosophical debate. Is morality an absolute or a relative societal construct?
Zorak:It's absolute. You're either good, or evil.
Space Ghost:There are no absolutes, the cold hand of science has shown us that. (sips from his mug) My friend, it appears we disagree.
Zorak:Then let us agree to disagree. (laughs)
Space Ghost:Well stated. A toast, to civility and restraint.
Moltar:More tea, m'lady?
Zorak:Why, yes, how lovely. (sips from his mug)
Space Ghost:Moltar, where are the cakes? The dainty cakes.
Moltar:Dainty cakes?
Space Ghost:Where are they?
Moltar:I bought 'em! I had 'em in the car! I, I swear! Sh- she handed 'em right to me. I, I had the dainty cakes right in the car! Nooooo!!!!
(Screen morphs back to Moltar in control room)
Moltar:(wakes up, panting) Ooooh, what a nightmare!
(Opening theme & titles)
Space Ghost:(invisos in) Greetings! I'm Space Ghost. Here's the deal. I've got a behind, it's super-heroic, and I'm about to shake it.
Zorak:I'd rather you didn't.
Moltar:Why are we even doing this?
Space Ghost:Evil villains, stand down from the funk. Tonight, I'm gonna tear it up, and break it down, with my favorite extended dance mixes.
Moltar:That still doesn't answer the question.
Space Ghost:Come on, Moltar, all the kids are dancin'! (high funky voice, with echo) It's electrifyin'! (end echo) Now put the needle on the record.
Moltar:(grumbles to himself, throws lever; needle drops to record, dance music plays)
Space Ghost:It's time for my (high voice) Soooooo-looo Dance Party. (neon-style titles superimposed on screen: SOLO DANCE PARTY) Y'all ready for this? (dances at his desk) Come on, come on!
Zorak:(glares at Space Ghost)
Space Ghost:Come on, Zorak, this is outta sight, man!
Zorak:You dance like a woman.
Space Ghost:(record scratch sound, music stops) I dance like a woman, if she were a man.
Zorak:Well, you got me there.
Space Ghost:I command all viewers to welcome my first guests, Mr.Ice-T and Mr. Ernie-C. Together, they're my first guests.
(Monitor lowers with Ice-T and Ernie-C)
Ernie-C:Hello, how are you?
Ice-T:What's up, Space?
Space Ghost:Space is up, T, way up! And, way out! Observe my outer space jig! Moltar?
Moltar:(grumbles again, throws lever, needle drops again, more dance music)
Space Ghost:(doing funky hand moves) E-lec-tronic, au-to-matic. How d'ya like this action, Ice-T?
Ice-T:It's all good, Space baby.
Space Ghost:(dancing again) Yeah, they never let me do this in the action show.
(Screen morph flashback to original Space Ghost cartoon)
Space Ghost:I have vanquished you, lizard slavers. And now, behold the pelvic gyrations of my victory boogie. (dance music starts, Space Ghost boogies)
Lizard Slaver 1:No, please, not the victory boogie!
Lizard Slaver 2:The cosmic gyrations will destroy the ship!
(Rest of lizard slavers hold their hands to their heads and scream)
Space Ghost:Doin' the butt! Heyyy... pret-tay, pret-tay!
(Screen morphs back to Space Ghost at his desk)
Space Ghost:Oh, Iced Tea, you are a sweet and refreshing beverage.
Ice-T:I am very sweet and refreshin'. (laughs)
Space Ghost:I'm not talkin' about you, I'm speaking in general.
Ice-T:That's right.
Ernie-C:Very cool, very cool.
Ice-T:What's up, Zorak? My man.
Zorak:(eyes swirling, with eerie sound effects; tries to control Ice-T's mind) (Ice-T! You will hook up Zorak with some fly honeys!)
Ice-T:(appears to be in a trance)
Space Ghost:Ice-T. Ice-T. Wake up!
Ice-T:That was cool, Zorak, that was cool, hit me 'gain, that was cool.
Zorak:Just remember what I said.
Space Ghost:Want me to blast the little pit spawn?
Ice-T:That's how you do, Space Ghost, you just go around killin' and blastin' ...
Ice-T:Space Ghost, just don't blast us!
Space Ghost:Why not? It's electrifyin'.
Ice-T:Do Ernie.
Space Ghost:Oh, okay. (aims power bands)
Ernie-C:Ho-, ho-, hold...
Space Ghost:I'm only playing, I'm only playing. What are you, you're mad at me now.
Ernie-C:No, no, I don't even like the word "destructo". (laughs)
Space Ghost:Free-style for me, Ice Ice baby.
Ice-T:You see my name's SG, and the place to be, representin' with Ice-T and Ernie-C.
Space Ghost:(raps badly) Why I'm SG, and it's plain to see, that I'm SG, and my name is SG.
Ice-T:(laughs) That was cool.
Ernie-C:That was interestin'.
Zorak:(eyes swirling again, with sound effects, etc.) (Just a little mental note...)
Zorak:(Reminding you about those fly honeys.)
Ice-T:Zorak was messin' with my brain again, what're you do...
Space Ghost:Hey, Ice-T, check it, buddy. (dances again, panting, humming to himself. Ice-T, Ernie-C and Zorak stare at him)
Ice-T:Come on, Ghost, come on, man, you gotta, you gotta do better'n that.
Space Ghost:Don't take that tone of voice with me, young man!
Ice-T:Yes, sir.
Space Ghost:Hey, Moltar! Kick it!
Moltar:(throws lever, rock music plays)
Ernie-C:I hear somethin'.
Zorak:Oooh, this rocks!
Space Ghost:Hold on, I can't dance to this.
Zorak:Play it backwards!
Space Ghost:No, don't! Something scary could happen!
Moltar:(throws lever, music starts playing backwards; a ghost flies out of his monitor) Eaaaaah! A ghost! (runs away)
Space Ghost:Moltar, what's goin' on?
(Ghost flies out of control room)
Space Ghost:(talking to Moltar, who is standing next to his desk) What's wrong?
Moltar:I wanna be out here with you.
Zorak:He's frightened of ghosts!
Moltar:(whimpering) Moltar fears nothing! Nothing!
Zorak:He fears what he cannot understand.
Space Ghost:That ghost isn't gonna hurt you.
Ice-T:Bring him in here so I can smack 'em.
Moltar:But... but...
Ernie-C:One time.
Space Ghost:See, Mr. T and his friend Ernie aren't afraid of the ghost.
Zorak:Yeah, Moltar, it just wants to possess your soul!
Moltar:(as ghost flies by) No!!
Ice-T:(to ghost) Peace, ghost. (waves)
Space Ghost:Get outta here!
Moltar:No! Wha!!
Zorak:(evil laugh)
Space Ghost:You don't have to be crazy to work here... (punchline intro music) But it helps! (punchline outro music) Stop it!
Space Ghost:(to Moltar, in control room) But I keep telling you, I'm a ghost, you're not afraid of me, are you?
Moltar:Arggh, no! I hate you, hate and fear are two different things.
Space Ghost:(floating, makes "scary" sound) Aaaaaaaaaaaaa! Are you frightened?
Moltar:Uh, no. I think I just told you, I hate you?
Zorak:(on control room monitor) Hey, what, are you guys slow dancin' in there? I wanna go home. (monitor shows text:)
CAM 02

Space Ghost:(invisos back to desk, lounge music is playing) Yes, as a matter of fact, we were. And speaking of were, please welcome funny man Fred Willard.
Fred Willard:(appears on monitor) My name is Fred Willard, and in earth terms, I am an actor, and, uh, I've been in some movies and television series...
Space Ghost:Let's talk about your days at "Real People." Now, there's a show!
Fred Willard:Oh, yeah, now, now that was fun.
Space Ghost:How did you determine if a person was real or an android?
Moltar:Yeah, did you rip their face off and check their circuitry?
Fred Willard:Uh, this is getting a little technical for me...
Space Ghost:Then let's change the subject to me. You know, I'm a superhero...
Fred Willard:That's right, and I, I, you are a hero, and I always wanted to play a, a hero. And I think, I think I played a hero once, I think I played Batman in a stage revue in Chicago...
Space Ghost:I won't have that man's name mentioned on my show! He still owes me for that dinner I bought him at R. J. McGoodtimes. (quietly) I oughta tell everybody he's Bruce Wayne.
Fred Willard:Oh dear, okay.
Moltar:Tansut, you hear that? Batman's Bruce Wayne!
Tansut:Wow! You think you know a guy.
Zorak:(eyes swirling yet again, with sound effects, etc.) (Fred Willard, you will hook Zorak up with some fly...) Ih... Never mind.
Space Ghost:Fred, I got a notion to put my butt in motion. Moltar!! (monitor shows text:)
Moltar:(pulls lever, disco music plays)
Space Ghost:(dances again) Come on, Fred, sing along!
Fred Willard:I'm game, I'm up for it. (music stops)
Moltar:(rustling noise) Whaa!!
Space Ghost:Moltar! What's happening now?
Moltar:The ghost is back! (Ghost flies to Zorak's keyboard pod)
Zorak:Stop scrunchin' me! This is my work area! (Ghost flies through Zorak & flies off) Hey! You got my soul! Gimme back my soul! (bounces off after ghost)
Space Ghost:Say, I'll bet Zorak doesn't have a "ghost" of a chance (punch line music). Get it, Fred?
Fred Willard:Sure, sure. Now, we're not gonna be, beamed back to earth without mentioning my movie, are we?
Space Ghost:It's all about you, isn't it, Fred?
Fred Willard:Uh... (smiles)
Space Ghost:Well...
Fred Willard:Well, it takes place in this small, uh, midwestern town, and we're a small time amateur theatrical group that puts on... (Zorak walks in front of the camera; Fred continues to talk in the background, but is drowned out by Space Ghost and Zorak)
Space Ghost:Back already, Zorak? Did you get your soul back?
Zorak:(mocking) No, I didn't. Did you get your brain back?
Space Ghost:That's your worst line ever.
Fred Willard:... and we find out this gentleman called Guffman may come to see us from uh, Broadway producers, I think it comes out in January, and I think you'll enjoy it.
Space Ghost:(pause) Ah ha!! Now that's an anecdote!
Fred Willard:Uh, which one?
Zorak:(spooky sounds) He's baaaack!
Space Ghost:Away with you, spirit! Hang on a minute, Fred.
Fred Willard:That's fine, that's fine. I'm in no hurry.
Space Ghost:There's only room for one ghost in this studio, and it's not the ghost that's not me!
Fred Willard:Alright.
Space Ghost:(blasts ghost with destructo ray; a note flutters to the ground at Space Ghost's feet) Holy Schnikes! That ghost was carrying a note! (picks up note) It says: (sniff) I just wanted to shake it. One time. (sniff) Sincerely, A Ghost.
Fred Willard:Oh!
Moltar:(mock sincerity) If I'd known that, maybe I wouldn't have been so scared.
Zorak:(distraught) I never got my fly honeys! (gets big anime eyes & cries; his tear sizzles when it hits the ground)
Space Ghost:Fred Willard, this is all your fault! I order you to give the ghost a touching eulogy.
Fred Willard:Ah! And, um, yes, he's done a lot of wonderful... stuff, am I saying the right thing?
Space Ghost:Eh, who cares? Let's dance! Moltar! Hit me with another one of those block rockin' beats!
Moltar:(pulls lever, disco music plays, monitor shows text:)
Space Ghost:(dances again; Fred looks disgusted, then credits roll) Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho! (over and over and over)
(Credits roll)
Moltar:The only thing that scares me more than ghosts is coming to terms with my grief.
Tansut:Oh, suck it up, fatty!
Space Ghost:(groan)

Fred Willard
Dan Vebber
Sean LaFleur
Alan Laddie
Ken Brady
Jon Schnepp
Jay Bellissimo
(inverted) Tom Roche
Sonny Sharrock
Eddie Horst
Man...or Astroman?
Sonny Sharrock
Lance Carter
Eddie Horst
Alfrieda Gerald
Man...or Astroman?
George Lowe
C. Martin Croker
Don Kennedy
Big Deal Cartoons
C. Martin Croker
C. Martin Croker
David M. Strandquest
Les Harper
Derald Hunt
Randall Lane
Roy Clements
Dave Sillman
Maury Ingram
Kaili Rubin
Vishal Roney
Gus Jordan
Maya McClure
Ben Morgan
Isabel Gonzalez
Nathan Cook
Hanna Barbera
Marc Francis
Steve Tseckares
Deney Terrio
Alex Toth
Greg Harrison
Jim Fortier
Pete Smith
Andy Merrill
Chip Duffey
Dave Willis
Keith Crofford
Michael Lazzo

© 1997 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.

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