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Episode: | 47 |
---|---|
Title: | Sphinx |
Original Air Date: | October 16, 1997 |
Guest Stars: | Mike Judge, Harland Williams |
Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed
BEGIN TRANSMISSION
(Moltar in the control room, with Mike Judge on the monitor)
Moltar: Okay, recording, and... now!
Mike Judge: (in Butthead voice) Space Ghost isn't home right now, (laughs). (changes to Beavis voice) (laughs) Is there something I can help you with? (laughs some more) (normal voice) Okay, there you go.
Moltar: It's not for Space Ghost, it's for me.
Mike Judge: Did you want, I thought you...
Moltar: No, I want one for me.
Mike Judge: (in Beavis voice) Voltar isn't home right now. Leave a message. Beep!
Moltar: No.
Mike Judge: Okay.
Moltar: My name's Moltar.
Mike Judge: (winces) Moltar.
Moltar: Yeah, and, and say some stuff about fire this time.
Mike Judge: (in Beavis voice) Moltar isn't home right now, fire, fire, leave a message.
Moltar: Wait, wait, I, I wanted one with Butthead.
Mike Judge: (sighs) Another one?
Moltar: Yeah.
Zorak: Hey, do one for me!
Mike Judge: Okay, who's it for?
Zorak: (pokes his head into control room) Zorak!
Moltar: Do him and me!
Zorak: Me and him.
Moltar: And make it funny this time.
Mike Judge: (in Beavis voice) Zorak isn't here, Moltar isn't here, leave a message. (does the finger & lips thing)
Moltar: No, make it funny!
Mike Judge: (in Hank Hill voice) Zo-, Zorak and Noltar...
Moltar: Moltar.
Mike Judge: (disgusted) Ah! Forget it.
Moltar: No, no, no, no, no!
Mike Judge: Get what's-his-name to do a message for ya. (starts to walk off)
Moltar: Sit down, you gore belly rump dead foot licker! We're not done yet!
(Opening theme & titles)
Space Ghost: (invisos in) Greetings, all. Space Ghost is my name, and animated comedy-style interview programs based in outer space are my game. Joining me tonight are craven fat kidneyed flirt gill Harland Williams, and unmuscled sheep biting mold warp Mike Judge.
Zorak: Have you seen my tail?
Space Ghost: Your what?
Zorak: My tail. Some joker cut it off!
Space Ghost: You don't have a tail!
Zorak: I know, because some joker cut it off!
Space Ghost: Calm down, Zorak.
Zorak: You calm down! Did you eat it?
Space Ghost: Why would I eat your stupid tail, I didn't even know ya had one!
Zorak: Moltar?
Moltar: I didn't eat it. I don't even like tail.
Zorak: Oh, wait, here it is. (pause) It's not a tail after all...
Space Ghost: Play me to the desk.
Zorak: It's a wacky fun slippery slide!
(MoA music plays Space Ghost to the desk. Space Ghost invisos to his desk; Moltar and Zorak whoop it up in the background)
Moltar: Whoa, whoa!
Zorak: Wooo hoo hoo!
Moltar: Hey, check this out! (slides by)
Space Ghost: All right, put the wacky fun slippery slide away.
Zorak: Whee-eeeeee! (slides by)
Moltar: (crash!) My knee!
Space Ghost: Please welcome my first guest, citizen Harland Williams
Harland Williams: (monitor lowers from ceiling) (yodels)
Space Ghost: Greetings, Harland!
Harland Williams: Hello there... Billy.
Space Ghost: My name is not...
Moltar: Wheeeeeeeee! (slides by)
Space Ghost: ... Billy.
Harland Williams: Oh. (winks)
Space Ghost: It's Space Ghost.
Harland Williams: 'kay, Billy. Gotcha. (winks again)
Space Ghost: Hey, hey, don't call me Billy.I do not care for the name Billy.
Harland Williams: Space Ghost, you... you're a little, uh, rambunctious today.
Space Ghost: How would you like it if I pulled down your pants and spanked your bare bottom right here in front of Zorak, Moltar and everybody!
Harland Williams: I'll say one word about y- that: naughty.
Space Ghost: Naughty?
Harland Williams: Naughty. (points) Naughty Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: What do you mean?
Harland Williams: There's naughty stuff goin' on in your head, you probably have, like, daydreams about pomegranates, and ...
Space Ghost: (hears "pomegranates" with echo effect)
Harland Williams: Sea fleece.
Space Ghost: (hears "sea fleece" with same echo effect)
Harland Williams: Timber.
Space Ghost: (hears "chocolate chip cookie dough" with same echo effect)
Harland Williams: You like wood, don't you?
Space Ghost: Well, sure I do. Who doesn't like wood? Cedar, mahogany, rustic pine. Yes, wood is good food. (smile sparkles)
Harland Williams: Naughty-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y (image & sound get stuck in a loop; continues in the background)
Space Ghost: (laughs) (pause) What's the matter?
Zorak: That's some wacky stuff.
Space Ghost: Moltar!
Moltar: Alright. Uhhhh... hang on. (Harland keeps looping) Uh, is this on the same tape, or...
Space Ghost: Stop! (blasts Harland with his destructo ray)
Harland Williams: (stops looping) God bless you, O black capped whitey legs. D'you have varicose veins?
Space Ghost: No, I don't.
Harland Williams: Y'got big puffy veins, (makes pulsing sounds and motions with his hands) pulsing away like organ grinder monkeys on cheese twists.
Zorak: Yeah, he's got legs like his greasy grannie! (evil laugh)
Space Ghost: That extra grease tacked two years onto her life, thank you very much.
Harland Williams: You ever, uh, rubbed a bar of soap on your grandmother's forehead?
Space Ghost: I... don't think I'll have occasion to, being that she's no longer with us.
Zorak: Why, what would happen?
Harland Williams: Well, you'd have yourself one heck of a sparkling clean grand-mamá.
Space Ghost: Maybe you didn't hear me. My grandmother bought a farm!
Zorak: Really?
Moltar: Cattle or crops?
Space Ghost: She's dead, all right?! I don't want to talk about it!
Zorak: Oops. Back to the veins.
Harland Williams: Tell me about your veins. See, I'm turnin' the questioning around, now tell us about your big, greasy space veins... white legs!
Space Ghost: Harland Williams, I will not hold court to your mischief!
Moltar: Space Ghost! The completion backward principle!
Space Ghost: Uh, completion backwards principle?
Harland Williams: Tell us about the veins! (slurps)
Moltar: Remember? Zorak creates a diversion, while you circumnavigate Ghost Planet at the speed of light...
Harland Williams: That's right, Space Ghost.
Zorak: Causing the planet to reverse its rotation.
Moltar: Which in turn opens a multidimensional chasm. (monitor shows Space Ghost with three screens completely full of text flashing over him, reading, in part:)
Keith Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temp
Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temporary Items:W
Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temporary Items:W
Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temporary Items:W
(next screen:)
Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temporary Items:W
Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temporary Items:W
CHANGE OR DELETE THE FOLLOWI
>OTHER REASONS FOR HIS ABSENC
>(available in stores September 2 - EX
(next screen:)
Unknown LDI TBS Tur
>WITS-TECHWOOD Turner Broad
>Entertainment Sandi Reid
>Hanna-Barbera
Space Ghost: Thusly causing time to go backwards so that I can redo and/or cancel the interview before the secret of my hideous and spidery varicose veins becomes common knowledge to the general public!
Harland Williams: You see now, Space Ghost?
Space Ghost: Yes! Why didn't I think of it before?
Moltar: You did! You called it the completion backwards principle!
Harland Williams: All hail Space Ghost! And his giant pulsing veiny legs!
Space Ghost: Zorak! Create a diversion!
Zorak: Hey, everybody! Look at me! Do doodley do do, do do da do do...
Space Ghost: (flies off)
Harland Williams: Wh-, where is he?
Zorak: (laughs) Ever see Superman 1?
Harland Williams: Yes.
Zorak: He'll be back in a sec.
Harland Williams: (laughs)
Zorak: (laughs)
Moltar: (laughs)
Space Ghost: (flies back to desk)
Zorak: He's back!
Space Ghost: (out of breath) Greetings! (pants) I (pants) am (pants) Space Ghost.
Harland Williams: What, you wake up with a Winnie the Pooh video in your shorts?
Moltar: Idiot! You went the wrong direction! (screen shows text:)
VELOCITY[?]=SPACE(?)/DONUTS
Space Ghost: Are you sure?
Moltar: We've been on for three hours now!
Zorak: Yeah! I want time and a half!
Space Ghost: Ohhhhh... (falls down onto floor, everybody laughs) I think I pulled too many G's.
Harland Williams: That a boy, Jerry.
Moltar: Jerry! (laughs)
Harland Williams: (waves)
INTERRUPT TRANSMISSION
RESUME TRANSMISSION
Mike Judge: (on Moltar's monitor, in Hank Hill voice) Oh, I tell ya what, that Space Ghost has a nice little patootie on him, don't he? (monitor shows text:)
BED[obscured by M's hand]BROOMSTICKS
Moltar: No!! (throws lever, sends Mike to studio monitor) You make me sick!
(Monitor screen flips through several test patterns, a picture of Adrienne Barbeau from "Jacksonville", and finally shows Mike Judge)
Mike Judge: (in Butthead voice) That was cool! (laughs)
Space Ghost: Identify yourself to the universe.
Mike Judge: I am Mike Judge. I am the creator of B-
Space Ghost: I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know what you do.
Mike Judge: Oh. (laughs)
Space Ghost: Maybe I can help you with your little cartoon deal.
Mike Judge: Uh, yeah, I, I would like to know what I can do to make what I do funnier.
Space Ghost: You should make your show like "Die Hard". Only put it on a bus! And then you should make the guys talk funny and hit each other in the head. And have explosions!
Mike Judge: I, I'm gonna write that down.
Space Ghost: And you should give all the guys in the thing a destructo ray and a freeze ray. And you should make them talk funny and hit each other.
Zorak: (in background) In the head.
Space Ghost: Yeah! In the head!
Mike Judge: Yeah, yeah, destructo ray, freeze ray, that could probably, like, that could put us over the top.
Space Ghost: Then I would come in and save the day! (hums superhero-type theme music)
Mike Judge: Well, um, you know how to get a hold of me.
Space Ghost: Oh, wait, I just remembered! Draw everyone with large muscular lantern-like jaws. Like mine! (jaw sparkles)
Mike Judge: Think if I'd drawn Butthead and Beavis with stronger jaws, and, uh...
Space Ghost: White booties!
Mike Judge: Yeah, white boots, they, they might be funnier and they might score.
Space Ghost: Well, you know what they say, Mike, dames are like mustard. They taste great on a sandwich. But when you're not eating a sandwich, they just sit there in your refrigerator... on a shelf... in a jar... labeled... mustard.
Mike Judge: Oh yeah.
Space Ghost: Okay then. Citizen Mike, give me an infectious laugh that millions will aspire to imitate.
Mike Judge: Well, you know, I actually found a tape of myself trying out different laughs. There was like (does Butthead laugh) and there was like (does monkey-like laugh) and, uh, you know, then, of course (does Beavis laugh). And, uh, if you wanted to have the (does monkey-like laugh) you could probably have that one.
Space Ghost: (Does monkey-like laugh) Will this (does monkey-like laugh) give me the approval of the much sought after 18 to 34 year old demographic?
Mike Judge: No, not really. (laughs) But it's free, though.
Space Ghost: Then I'll take it! Citizen Mike, what are your favorite programs?
Mike Judge: I really like this, I like Space Ghost, man.
Space Ghost: Thank you!
Mike Judge: I like, uh, Space Ghost... And, uh...
Space Ghost: Space Ghost?
Mike Judge: Uh, Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: Thank you once again! How can I repay you for your undying devotion?
Mike Judge: You could go into the cartoon "Rug Rats", and just sorta clean house.
Space Ghost: Yyyou want me to whack the Rug Rats?
Mike Judge: I'll give you a list of some people in the industry that need to be, uh, that need to have this done to 'em.
(Blasts Zorak with his own destructo ray)
Zorak: Aaaaaa!!!
Mike Judge: Sorry.
Zorak: Don't be.
Space Ghost: That was quite a display of superior firepower.
Mike Judge: Can you put a sound effect into this... (blasts Zorak again)
Zorak: Noooo!!!
Mike Judge: ... to make us equal?
Space Ghost: Sure thing...
Zorak: Wait a minute...
Space Ghost: Moltar?
Moltar: (throws lever)
Mike Judge: (in superhero/Hank Hill voice) What special powers do you have to help fight the insanity? (blasts Zorak again)
Zorak: No, wait... Aaaaaaa!
Space Ghost: No, listen: What special powers do you have to help stop the insanity? (blasts Zorak)
Zorak: Nooooooo!!
Mike Judge: You're right, let me try that again.
Zorak: Hold it, gimme just a sec.
Mike Judge: (Blasts Zorak again) What special powers do you have to help stop the insanity?
Zorak: All right, stop it!!! It hurts, okay?!
Space Ghost: Hmmm, I dunno.
Mike Judge: Well, let's hear you do Butthead.
Space Ghost: (completely straight voice) Ha ha ha, ha, ha ha. My name is Butthead, my head is a giant human butt. Ha, ha ha.
Mike Judge: And how about Beavis?
Space Ghost: (also in straight voice) Shut up, Butt land, my name is Beavis. How was that?
Zorak: (in background) Fab-oh!
Mike Judge: Yyyeah, yeah, that was... well, that was great.
Space Ghost: Oh, I'm good, baby.
Mike Judge: I'd like to hear Zorak do Beavis.
Zorak: I'd like to hear Mike Judge shut up!
Mike Judge: (looks shocked)
Space Ghost: Ooooh, did you hear that, Mike.
Mike Judge: Well, tell him I'd like to tie the long hair on his head to the short hair on his nose and kick him down the street, okay?
Zorak: Bring it on, you son of a carpenter.
Space Ghost: Knock it off, guys. Come on.
Mike Judge: (In Skeletor, from He-Man, voice) The power scepter is mine now, Beast Man!
Zorak: That's my tail!
Mike Judge: You betcha.
Zorak: Gimme back my tail!
Moltar: Wheeeeee! (slides by)
Mike Judge: (in Beavis' Cornholio voice) Are you threatening me?
Zorak: You've got my tail!
Space Ghost: All right, everybody. Just stop!
Mike Judge: (stares back)
Zorak: (stares back)
Moltar: (slides by) Wo wo wo wo...
Space Ghost: Thanks for stopping by, Mike.
Mike Judge: (in Hank Hill voice) Boy, I tell ya what, it don't get any better'n this.
Space Ghost: Nope! It sure doesn't.
Mike Judge: (in Beavis voice) (laughs) Boy! (laughs) It doesn't get any better than this! (laughs) Yeah!
Space Ghost: You hit the nose on the head, compadre! It just doesn't get any better than this!
Mike Judge: (in Butthead voice) Uh, it doesn't get any better than this? (laughs)
Space Ghost: No, it doesn't. And there you have it, folks.
Mike Judge: (in Buzzcut voice) Boy, it doesn't get any better than this!
Space Ghost: Mike...
Mike Judge: (in Mr. Van Driesen voice) You know, it really doesn't get any better than this, mm-kay?
Space Ghost: Mmm-kay! Thanks for being on the...
Mike Judge: (in Principal McVickers voice) (wheezes) It doesn't get any better than this. (wheezes)
Space Ghost: Mike... Mike!!
Mike Judge: (in Butthead voice) Uh... (in normal voice) What's that?
Space Ghost: I have to go home now.
(Credits roll)
Mike Judge: Here's Tom Anderson: "Boy, I tell ya what." Here's Hank Hill: "Boy, I tell ya what." It's a big difference.
GUEST STARS Mike Judge Harland Williams |
WRITER Dave Willis |
EDITORS Jon Schnepp (inverted) Tom Roche |
MUSIC Sonny Sharrock Eddie Horst Man...or Astroman? |
MUSICIANS Sonny Sharrock Lance Carter Eddie Horst Alfrieda Gerald Man...or Astroman? |
VOICES George Lowe C. Martin Croker |
DESIGN COMPANY Big Deal Cartoons |
ANIMATION DIRECTOR C. Martin Croker |
3D ANIMATOR Derald Hunt |
ART DIRECTOR Randall Lane |
ON-LINE CONFORM Jay Bellissimo |
AUDIO CONFORM Mark Coddington |
EDIT ASSIST Paul Wilson |
RE-RECORDING MIXER Roy Clements |
PRODUCTION MANAGER Kaili Rubin |
PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Vishal Roney |
TALENT COORDINATOR Isabel Gonzalez |
PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Gus Jordan Maya McClure Ben Morgan |
SPACE GHOST'S MALE SECRETARY Nathan Cook |
SPECIAL THANKS Carolina Pictures Steve Tseckares |
ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN Alex Toth |
LINE PRODUCER Greg Harrison |
LINE PRODUCER Jim Fortier |
PRODUCER Pete Smith |
PRODUCER Andy Merrill |
PRODUCER Chip Duffey |
SUPERVISING PRODUCER Dave Willis |
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Keith Crofford |
SHOES Michael Lazzo |
© 1997 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
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