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| Episode: | 47 |
|---|---|
| Title: | Sphinx |
| Original Air Date: | October 16, 1997 |
| Guest Stars: | Mike Judge, Harland Williams |
Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed
| BEGIN TRANSMISSION | |
| (Moltar in the control room, with Mike Judge on the monitor) | |
| Moltar: | Okay, recording, and... now! |
| Mike Judge: | (in Butthead voice) Space Ghost isn't home right now, (laughs). (changes to Beavis voice) (laughs) Is there something I can help you with? (laughs some more) (normal voice) Okay, there you go. |
| Moltar: | It's not for Space Ghost, it's for me. |
| Mike Judge: | Did you want, I thought you... |
| Moltar: | No, I want one for me. |
| Mike Judge: | (in Beavis voice) Voltar isn't home right now. Leave a message. Beep! |
| Moltar: | No. |
| Mike Judge: | Okay. |
| Moltar: | My name's Moltar. |
| Mike Judge: | (winces) Moltar. |
| Moltar: | Yeah, and, and say some stuff about fire this time. |
| Mike Judge: | (in Beavis voice) Moltar isn't home right now, fire, fire, leave a message. |
| Moltar: | Wait, wait, I, I wanted one with Butthead. |
| Mike Judge: | (sighs) Another one? |
| Moltar: | Yeah. |
| Zorak: | Hey, do one for me! |
| Mike Judge: | Okay, who's it for? |
| Zorak: | (pokes his head into control room) Zorak! |
| Moltar: | Do him and me! |
| Zorak: | Me and him. |
| Moltar: | And make it funny this time. |
| Mike Judge: | (in Beavis voice) Zorak isn't here, Moltar isn't here, leave a message. (does the finger & lips thing) |
| Moltar: | No, make it funny! |
| Mike Judge: | (in Hank Hill voice) Zo-, Zorak and Noltar... |
| Moltar: | Moltar. |
| Mike Judge: | (disgusted) Ah! Forget it. |
| Moltar: | No, no, no, no, no! |
| Mike Judge: | Get what's-his-name to do a message for ya. (starts to walk off) |
| Moltar: | Sit down, you gore belly rump dead foot licker! We're not done yet! |
| (Opening theme & titles) | |
| Space Ghost: | (invisos in) Greetings, all. Space Ghost is my name, and animated comedy-style interview programs based in outer space are my game. Joining me tonight are craven fat kidneyed flirt gill Harland Williams, and unmuscled sheep biting mold warp Mike Judge. |
| Zorak: | Have you seen my tail? |
| Space Ghost: | Your what? |
| Zorak: | My tail. Some joker cut it off! |
| Space Ghost: | You don't have a tail! |
| Zorak: | I know, because some joker cut it off! |
| Space Ghost: | Calm down, Zorak. |
| Zorak: | You calm down! Did you eat it? |
| Space Ghost: | Why would I eat your stupid tail, I didn't even know ya had one! |
| Zorak: | Moltar? |
| Moltar: | I didn't eat it. I don't even like tail. |
| Zorak: | Oh, wait, here it is. (pause) It's not a tail after all... |
| Space Ghost: | Play me to the desk. |
| Zorak: | It's a wacky fun slippery slide! |
| (MoA music plays Space Ghost to the desk. Space Ghost invisos to his desk; Moltar and Zorak whoop it up in the background) | |
| Moltar: | Whoa, whoa! |
| Zorak: | Wooo hoo hoo! |
| Moltar: | Hey, check this out! (slides by) |
| Space Ghost: | All right, put the wacky fun slippery slide away. |
| Zorak: | Whee-eeeeee! (slides by) |
| Moltar: | (crash!) My knee! |
| Space Ghost: | Please welcome my first guest, citizen Harland Williams |
| Harland Williams: | (monitor lowers from ceiling) (yodels) |
| Space Ghost: | Greetings, Harland! |
| Harland Williams: | Hello there... Billy. |
| Space Ghost: | My name is not... |
| Moltar: | Wheeeeeeeee! (slides by) |
| Space Ghost: | ... Billy. |
| Harland Williams: | Oh. (winks) |
| Space Ghost: | It's Space Ghost. |
| Harland Williams: | 'kay, Billy. Gotcha. (winks again) |
| Space Ghost: | Hey, hey, don't call me Billy.I do not care for the name Billy. |
| Harland Williams: | Space Ghost, you... you're a little, uh, rambunctious today. |
| Space Ghost: | How would you like it if I pulled down your pants and spanked your bare bottom right here in front of Zorak, Moltar and everybody! |
| Harland Williams: | I'll say one word about y- that: naughty. |
| Space Ghost: | Naughty? |
| Harland Williams: | Naughty. (points) Naughty Space Ghost. |
| Space Ghost: | What do you mean? |
| Harland Williams: | There's naughty stuff goin' on in your head, you probably have, like, daydreams about pomegranates, and ... |
| Space Ghost: | (hears "pomegranates" with echo effect) |
| Harland Williams: | Sea fleece. |
| Space Ghost: | (hears "sea fleece" with same echo effect) |
| Harland Williams: | Timber. |
| Space Ghost: | (hears "chocolate chip cookie dough" with same echo effect) |
| Harland Williams: | You like wood, don't you? |
| Space Ghost: | Well, sure I do. Who doesn't like wood? Cedar, mahogany, rustic pine. Yes, wood is good food. (smile sparkles) |
| Harland Williams: | Naughty-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y (image & sound get stuck in a loop; continues in the background) |
| Space Ghost: | (laughs) (pause) What's the matter? |
| Zorak: | That's some wacky stuff. |
| Space Ghost: | Moltar! |
| Moltar: | Alright. Uhhhh... hang on. (Harland keeps looping) Uh, is this on the same tape, or... |
| Space Ghost: | Stop! (blasts Harland with his destructo ray) |
| Harland Williams: | (stops looping) God bless you, O black capped whitey legs. D'you have varicose veins? |
| Space Ghost: | No, I don't. |
| Harland Williams: | Y'got big puffy veins, (makes pulsing sounds and motions with his hands) pulsing away like organ grinder monkeys on cheese twists. |
| Zorak: | Yeah, he's got legs like his greasy grannie! (evil laugh) |
| Space Ghost: | That extra grease tacked two years onto her life, thank you very much. |
| Harland Williams: | You ever, uh, rubbed a bar of soap on your grandmother's forehead? |
| Space Ghost: | I... don't think I'll have occasion to, being that she's no longer with us. |
| Zorak: | Why, what would happen? |
| Harland Williams: | Well, you'd have yourself one heck of a sparkling clean grand-mamá. |
| Space Ghost: | Maybe you didn't hear me. My grandmother bought a farm! |
| Zorak: | Really? |
| Moltar: | Cattle or crops? |
| Space Ghost: | She's dead, all right?! I don't want to talk about it! |
| Zorak: | Oops. Back to the veins. |
| Harland Williams: | Tell me about your veins. See, I'm turnin' the questioning around, now tell us about your big, greasy space veins... white legs! |
| Space Ghost: | Harland Williams, I will not hold court to your mischief! |
| Moltar: | Space Ghost! The completion backward principle! |
| Space Ghost: | Uh, completion backwards principle? |
| Harland Williams: | Tell us about the veins! (slurps) |
| Moltar: | Remember? Zorak creates a diversion, while you circumnavigate Ghost Planet at the speed of light... |
| Harland Williams: | That's right, Space Ghost. |
| Zorak: | Causing the planet to reverse its rotation. |
| Moltar: | Which in turn opens a multidimensional chasm. (monitor shows Space Ghost with three screens completely full of text flashing over him, reading, in part:) |
| Keith Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temp Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temporary Items:W Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temporary Items:W Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temporary Items:W | |
| (next screen:) | |
| Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temporary Items:W Crofford-Tad Ghostal:Temporary Items:W CHANGE OR DELETE THE FOLLOWI >OTHER REASONS FOR HIS ABSENC >(available in stores September 2 - EX | |
| (next screen:) | |
| Unknown LDI TBS Tur >WITS-TECHWOOD Turner Broad >Entertainment Sandi Reid >Hanna-Barbera | |
| Space Ghost: | Thusly causing time to go backwards so that I can redo and/or cancel the interview before the secret of my hideous and spidery varicose veins becomes common knowledge to the general public! |
| Harland Williams: | You see now, Space Ghost? |
| Space Ghost: | Yes! Why didn't I think of it before? |
| Moltar: | You did! You called it the completion backwards principle! |
| Harland Williams: | All hail Space Ghost! And his giant pulsing veiny legs! |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak! Create a diversion! |
| Zorak: | Hey, everybody! Look at me! Do doodley do do, do do da do do... |
| Space Ghost: | (flies off) |
| Harland Williams: | Wh-, where is he? |
| Zorak: | (laughs) Ever see Superman 1? |
| Harland Williams: | Yes. |
| Zorak: | He'll be back in a sec. |
| Harland Williams: | (laughs) |
| Zorak: | (laughs) |
| Moltar: | (laughs) |
| Space Ghost: | (flies back to desk) |
| Zorak: | He's back! |
| Space Ghost: | (out of breath) Greetings! (pants) I (pants) am (pants) Space Ghost. |
| Harland Williams: | What, you wake up with a Winnie the Pooh video in your shorts? |
| Moltar: | Idiot! You went the wrong direction! (screen shows text:) |
| VELOCITY[?]=SPACE(?)/DONUTS | |
| Space Ghost: | Are you sure? |
| Moltar: | We've been on for three hours now! |
| Zorak: | Yeah! I want time and a half! |
| Space Ghost: | Ohhhhh... (falls down onto floor, everybody laughs) I think I pulled too many G's. |
| Harland Williams: | That a boy, Jerry. |
| Moltar: | Jerry! (laughs) |
| Harland Williams: | (waves) |
| INTERRUPT TRANSMISSION | |
| RESUME TRANSMISSION | |
| Mike Judge: | (on Moltar's monitor, in Hank Hill voice) Oh, I tell ya what, that Space Ghost has a nice little patootie on him, don't he? (monitor shows text:) |
| BED[obscured by M's hand]BROOMSTICKS | |
| Moltar: | No!! (throws lever, sends Mike to studio monitor) You make me sick! |
| (Monitor screen flips through several test patterns, a picture of Adrienne Barbeau from "Jacksonville", and finally shows Mike Judge) | |
| Mike Judge: | (in Butthead voice) That was cool! (laughs) |
| Space Ghost: | Identify yourself to the universe. |
| Mike Judge: | I am Mike Judge. I am the creator of B- |
| Space Ghost: | I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know what you do. |
| Mike Judge: | Oh. (laughs) |
| Space Ghost: | Maybe I can help you with your little cartoon deal. |
| Mike Judge: | Uh, yeah, I, I would like to know what I can do to make what I do funnier. |
| Space Ghost: | You should make your show like "Die Hard". Only put it on a bus! And then you should make the guys talk funny and hit each other in the head. And have explosions! |
| Mike Judge: | I, I'm gonna write that down. |
| Space Ghost: | And you should give all the guys in the thing a destructo ray and a freeze ray. And you should make them talk funny and hit each other. |
| Zorak: | (in background) In the head. |
| Space Ghost: | Yeah! In the head! |
| Mike Judge: | Yeah, yeah, destructo ray, freeze ray, that could probably, like, that could put us over the top. |
| Space Ghost: | Then I would come in and save the day! (hums superhero-type theme music) |
| Mike Judge: | Well, um, you know how to get a hold of me. |
| Space Ghost: | Oh, wait, I just remembered! Draw everyone with large muscular lantern-like jaws. Like mine! (jaw sparkles) |
| Mike Judge: | Think if I'd drawn Butthead and Beavis with stronger jaws, and, uh... |
| Space Ghost: | White booties! |
| Mike Judge: | Yeah, white boots, they, they might be funnier and they might score. |
| Space Ghost: | Well, you know what they say, Mike, dames are like mustard. They taste great on a sandwich. But when you're not eating a sandwich, they just sit there in your refrigerator... on a shelf... in a jar... labeled... mustard. |
| Mike Judge: | Oh yeah. |
| Space Ghost: | Okay then. Citizen Mike, give me an infectious laugh that millions will aspire to imitate. |
| Mike Judge: | Well, you know, I actually found a tape of myself trying out different laughs. There was like (does Butthead laugh) and there was like (does monkey-like laugh) and, uh, you know, then, of course (does Beavis laugh). And, uh, if you wanted to have the (does monkey-like laugh) you could probably have that one. |
| Space Ghost: | (Does monkey-like laugh) Will this (does monkey-like laugh) give me the approval of the much sought after 18 to 34 year old demographic? |
| Mike Judge: | No, not really. (laughs) But it's free, though. |
| Space Ghost: | Then I'll take it! Citizen Mike, what are your favorite programs? |
| Mike Judge: | I really like this, I like Space Ghost, man. |
| Space Ghost: | Thank you! |
| Mike Judge: | I like, uh, Space Ghost... And, uh... |
| Space Ghost: | Space Ghost? |
| Mike Judge: | Uh, Space Ghost. |
| Space Ghost: | Thank you once again! How can I repay you for your undying devotion? |
| Mike Judge: | You could go into the cartoon "Rug Rats", and just sorta clean house. |
| Space Ghost: | Yyyou want me to whack the Rug Rats? |
| Mike Judge: | I'll give you a list of some people in the industry that need to be, uh, that need to have this done to 'em. |
| (Blasts Zorak with his own destructo ray) | |
| Zorak: | Aaaaaa!!! |
| Mike Judge: | Sorry. |
| Zorak: | Don't be. |
| Space Ghost: | That was quite a display of superior firepower. |
| Mike Judge: | Can you put a sound effect into this... (blasts Zorak again) |
| Zorak: | Noooo!!! |
| Mike Judge: | ... to make us equal? |
| Space Ghost: | Sure thing... |
| Zorak: | Wait a minute... |
| Space Ghost: | Moltar? |
| Moltar: | (throws lever) |
| Mike Judge: | (in superhero/Hank Hill voice) What special powers do you have to help fight the insanity? (blasts Zorak again) |
| Zorak: | No, wait... Aaaaaaa! |
| Space Ghost: | No, listen: What special powers do you have to help stop the insanity? (blasts Zorak) |
| Zorak: | Nooooooo!! |
| Mike Judge: | You're right, let me try that again. |
| Zorak: | Hold it, gimme just a sec. |
| Mike Judge: | (Blasts Zorak again) What special powers do you have to help stop the insanity? |
| Zorak: | All right, stop it!!! It hurts, okay?! |
| Space Ghost: | Hmmm, I dunno. |
| Mike Judge: | Well, let's hear you do Butthead. |
| Space Ghost: | (completely straight voice) Ha ha ha, ha, ha ha. My name is Butthead, my head is a giant human butt. Ha, ha ha. |
| Mike Judge: | And how about Beavis? |
| Space Ghost: | (also in straight voice) Shut up, Butt land, my name is Beavis. How was that? |
| Zorak: | (in background) Fab-oh! |
| Mike Judge: | Yyyeah, yeah, that was... well, that was great. |
| Space Ghost: | Oh, I'm good, baby. |
| Mike Judge: | I'd like to hear Zorak do Beavis. |
| Zorak: | I'd like to hear Mike Judge shut up! |
| Mike Judge: | (looks shocked) |
| Space Ghost: | Ooooh, did you hear that, Mike. |
| Mike Judge: | Well, tell him I'd like to tie the long hair on his head to the short hair on his nose and kick him down the street, okay? |
| Zorak: | Bring it on, you son of a carpenter. |
| Space Ghost: | Knock it off, guys. Come on. |
| Mike Judge: | (In Skeletor, from He-Man, voice) The power scepter is mine now, Beast Man! |
| Zorak: | That's my tail! |
| Mike Judge: | You betcha. |
| Zorak: | Gimme back my tail! |
| Moltar: | Wheeeeee! (slides by) |
| Mike Judge: | (in Beavis' Cornholio voice) Are you threatening me? |
| Zorak: | You've got my tail! |
| Space Ghost: | All right, everybody. Just stop! |
| Mike Judge: | (stares back) |
| Zorak: | (stares back) |
| Moltar: | (slides by) Wo wo wo wo... |
| Space Ghost: | Thanks for stopping by, Mike. |
| Mike Judge: | (in Hank Hill voice) Boy, I tell ya what, it don't get any better'n this. |
| Space Ghost: | Nope! It sure doesn't. |
| Mike Judge: | (in Beavis voice) (laughs) Boy! (laughs) It doesn't get any better than this! (laughs) Yeah! |
| Space Ghost: | You hit the nose on the head, compadre! It just doesn't get any better than this! |
| Mike Judge: | (in Butthead voice) Uh, it doesn't get any better than this? (laughs) |
| Space Ghost: | No, it doesn't. And there you have it, folks. |
| Mike Judge: | (in Buzzcut voice) Boy, it doesn't get any better than this! |
| Space Ghost: | Mike... |
| Mike Judge: | (in Mr. Van Driesen voice) You know, it really doesn't get any better than this, mm-kay? |
| Space Ghost: | Mmm-kay! Thanks for being on the... |
| Mike Judge: | (in Principal McVickers voice) (wheezes) It doesn't get any better than this. (wheezes) |
| Space Ghost: | Mike... Mike!! |
| Mike Judge: | (in Butthead voice) Uh... (in normal voice) What's that? |
| Space Ghost: | I have to go home now. |
| (Credits roll) | |
| Mike Judge: | Here's Tom Anderson: "Boy, I tell ya what." Here's Hank Hill: "Boy, I tell ya what." It's a big difference. |
| GUEST STARS Mike Judge Harland Williams |
| WRITER Dave Willis |
| EDITORS Jon Schnepp (inverted) Tom Roche |
| MUSIC Sonny Sharrock Eddie Horst Man...or Astroman? |
| MUSICIANS Sonny Sharrock Lance Carter Eddie Horst Alfrieda Gerald Man...or Astroman? |
| VOICES George Lowe C. Martin Croker |
| DESIGN COMPANY Big Deal Cartoons |
| ANIMATION DIRECTOR C. Martin Croker |
| 3D ANIMATOR Derald Hunt |
| ART DIRECTOR Randall Lane |
| ON-LINE CONFORM Jay Bellissimo |
| AUDIO CONFORM Mark Coddington |
| EDIT ASSIST Paul Wilson |
| RE-RECORDING MIXER Roy Clements |
| PRODUCTION MANAGER Kaili Rubin |
| PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Vishal Roney |
| TALENT COORDINATOR Isabel Gonzalez |
| PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Gus Jordan Maya McClure Ben Morgan |
| SPACE GHOST'S MALE SECRETARY Nathan Cook |
| SPECIAL THANKS Carolina Pictures Steve Tseckares |
| ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN Alex Toth |
| LINE PRODUCER Greg Harrison |
| LINE PRODUCER Jim Fortier |
| PRODUCER Pete Smith |
| PRODUCER Andy Merrill |
| PRODUCER Chip Duffey |
| SUPERVISING PRODUCER Dave Willis |
| EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Keith Crofford |
| SHOES Michael Lazzo |
© 1997 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
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