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| Episode: | 62 |
|---|---|
| Title: | Warren |
| Original Air Date: | September 3, 1998 |
| Guest Star: | Gary Owens |
| Synopsis: | The gang takes a road--er, space trip to visit Warren, a hateful hedge who plots to take over Space Ghost's show. This show features Gary Owens, who originally voiced Space Ghost in the action series. (Synopsis by Hen Solo) |
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| Waiting | |
| (Television set, with "The Warren Show" title screen) | |
| Announcer: | (intro music) And now back to "The Warren Show". |
| (Shot of Space Ghost's apartment, with Moltar and Zorak) | |
| Space Ghost: | Ooh, I love Warren! |
| Warren: | Tell us, Space, what are your superpowers? |
| Gary Owens: | (as Space Ghost) I developed a few of my own, I, for example, can leap tall buildings in a single bound, I jump over buildings, I also have x-ray vision, and I can make change for a dollar. |
| Moltar: | (laughs) |
| Zorak: | (laughs) |
| Gary Owens: | Thank you. |
| Space Ghost: | Wait a minute! I don't remember... |
| Gary Owens: | I can also bend my thumb, by the way. |
| Space Ghost: | I've never been on "Warren"! That guy's a replicant! |
| Gary Owens: | I can bend a spoon with my mind, but it has to be a plastic spoon. (TV laughter) |
| Moltar: | Whoa! |
| Moltar: | (laughs) |
| Zorak: | (laughs) |
| Gary Owens: | I can't do the real spoon. (TV applause) |
| Space Ghost: | This is such bull! (blasts TV set) I am super-unsatisfied to be replicated in this way! Super-unsatisfied! I need to get to the bottom of this. Come on, boys! Let's take a ride! |
| Zorak: | Pick me up a hitch-hiker, would'ya? |
| Space Ghost: | You're coming with us, Zorak. We'll go see Warren, then we'll swing by the department store and get you some new slacks. |
| Zorak: | And a hitch-hiker? |
| Space Ghost: | We'll see. |
| Moltar: | Shotgun! |
| Zorak: | (slightly behind Moltar) Shotgun! |
| Moltar: | Yes! |
| (Phantom Cruiser flies through space) | |
| Zorak: | (hitting Moltar's seat from behind) (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Space Ghost: | (mocking) "I have x-ray vision and I can make change for a dollar!" |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Space Ghost: | I could make change for five dollars if I had to. |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Quit it! |
| (Cruiser approaches planetoid) | |
| Moltar: | Is this it? |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | QUIT IT! |
| Space Ghost: | Yup, it's just like I remember it. Oh, look, they put in a Mr. Winters over there. You see, boys, Warren was my mentor. He was the wind beneath my cape. I learned so much that summer. Perhaps... too much. (sound of brakes) L-let's go back. (shifts into reverse, Phantom Cruiser backs up) What am I doing? (brakes) I love Warren! I need to see him. (shifts gears, goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But I've been replicated. (goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But, I have been replicated. (grinds gears) (goes forward again) |
| (The Cruiser finally lands; the hatch opens, Space Ghost emerges, to dramatic music) | |
| Space Ghost: | (goes back inside) They were closed. |
| Zorak: | I wanna see! |
| Space Ghost: | There's nothing to see. Now, who wants new slacks? |
| Zorak: | I don't wear pants, and I don't know anyone who does! |
| Moltar: | Yeah! We wanna see Warren! |
| Space Ghost: | (sighs) All right. |
| (Space Ghost, Zorak and Moltar leave the ship and enter a cave) | |
| Monitor: | Welcome Space Ghost. Warren is expecting you. |
| (Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's power bands disappear) | |
| Space Ghost: | My power bands! |
| Monitor: | You know the rules. No weapons. |
| Zorak: | Hey. You live here? |
| Monitor: | Oh, I see you brought your mantis. |
| Moltar: | (clears throat) |
| Monitor: | And the fireman. How lucky. |
| Zorak: | Where's the tub? Can I have this? (sound of glass breaking) Uh, that was broke already. |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak... |
| Zorak: | Someone boiling vinegar? |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak! |
| Zorak: | What? |
| Space Ghost: | Shut your beak. |
| Zorak: | Before you... close it with medical sutures? |
| Space Ghost: | No, before I seal it using a powerful space-age adhesive, which I keep in my fanny pack. |
| Monitor: | You know the rules. No fanny packs. |
| (Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's fanny pack disappears) | |
| Space Ghost: | My breakfast bars! |
| Monitor: | Ladies and gentlemen of the arena, I give you... Warren. |
| (Warren rolls out, looking very much like a potted plant) | |
| Space Ghost: | Well, it's been a long time. |
| Warren: | Yeah. |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, I've been replicated, man! |
| Warren: | Hmph. Do I know you? |
| Space Ghost: | You tell me, pal. |
| Warren: | No, I don't know you. |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, you had me on your show last night. But I wasn't on your show last night! I was right there in my living room, watching you having me on your show. |
| Zorak: | Nice bush. |
| Warren: | Ah, that's funny, mantis. Funny bugs like you, talkin' like that in my castle, end up, lookin' for their teeth, two blocks away, on Quinn Street. |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak, let me handle this, please. |
| Zorak: | Nice... bush. |
| Warren: | Listen! I can burn you, like the crazy world of Arthur Brown. |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak! |
| Zorak: | Nice... bush. |
| (Warren zaps Zorak with a destructo ray) | |
| Warren: | We're both green, aren't we, Zorak? But I got rays, don't I!? Don't I? Don't I? |
| Moltar: | You better answer him. |
| Warren: | Don't I, Zorak? |
| Zorak: | Ah, go fertilize yourself. |
| Warren: | (zaps Zorak again several times) |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, I've come many miles... |
| Warren: | (zaps Zorak again) |
| Space Ghost: | ... to set myself before you today to find out why you've betrayed our sacred covenant. |
| Warren: | Do what now? |
| Space Ghost: | Who was that you had on your show, because it wasn't me. |
| Warren: | Aw, yeah. (chuckles) That was just Gary. |
| Space Ghost: | Gary, huh? |
| Warren: | Yeah. |
| Space Ghost: | Ga-ry. |
| Warren: | Yeah. (chuckles) |
| Space Ghost: | Garrrrrrry. |
| Warren: | Yep. |
| Space Ghost: | Are you tryin' to shuck me? |
| Warren: | Listen to me! Over there in the corner, you'll find a mystical cauldron. Conjure up Gary and he will appear before you. He knows the answers, to the questions that vex you so. Now I must adjourn, to my sunny spot, ah! (starts to roll away) |
| Space Ghost: | Wait, you didn't answer my question! I didn't come here to talk to a cauldron! Warren, wait! |
| Moltar: | He seemed like a good enough guy. |
| Zorak: | Yeah, very personable. |
| Space Ghost: | Come on, let's hold hands and conjure up this joker. |
| (Zorak, Space Ghost and Moltar are holding hands in front of a steaming cauldron) | |
| Space Ghost: | Gary... Om... (wolf howls in background) Hey, you guys have to do it too, or it won't work. |
| Zorak: | Oh. |
| Space Ghost: | Om... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Moltar: | Gary... Gary... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | Om... Om... |
| Zorak: | Gary... Gary... |
| Moltar: | Gary... |
| Space Ghost: | Gary... |
| Zorak: | Gary... |
| Space Ghost: | Om... |
| Moltar: | Gary... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | Gary... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Moltar: | Om... Gary... |
| Space Ghost: | Okay. |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | Got it. |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | We're good. We got it. |
| Gary Owens: | (in cauldron, as Space Ghost) (laughs) Thank you. |
| Space Ghost: | It's him! |
| Moltar: | Whoa! |
| Zorak: | It's Space Ghost! |
| Gary Owens: | It is indeed. |
| Space Ghost: | It is not indeed! Do you know who I am? Gary? Take a good look. I'm Space Ghost! |
| Gary Owens: | (coughs) You're what? |
| Space Ghost: | That's right, Gary. I'm the real Space Ghost. |
| Gary Owens: | So am I. |
| Space Ghost: | No, see, I'm the one who flew around the galaxy saving planets, not you! Where do you get off being me? |
| Gary Owens: | Uh, in the early days, back when, uh, when Space Ghost was first born, they let me play Space Ghost. And that was what, what a thrill. |
| Space Ghost: | Uh, who's "they"? |
| Gary Owens: | Mr. Joe Barbera, and Mr. Fred Silverman, gentlemen who chose me to play you. |
| Space Ghost: | Nobody plays me, Jack! I play me. |
| Moltar: | Hey Gary, who played me? |
| Gary Owens: | Moltar? Moltar, I have a picture of you. I have a picture of Zorak over there, when he was just a mild mutant. |
| Zorak: | Hey! Remember when I smashed your camera with that rock? |
| Gary Owens: | Oh, yes. It was, what wonder days. |
| Moltar: | Gary? Can you come home with us, and... be our new dad? |
| Space Ghost: | Now, wait just a second! Can't you see? Are ya all blind? Moltar! Zorak! This is all just some demented mind trick brought on by Warren! |
| Gary Owens: | I still have got the inviso-belt, I've got that in the trunk of the car right now. |
| Space Ghost: | Listen up, you deluded old freak. Don't make me use my power bands on you. |
| Moltar: | Space Ghost, uh... you don't have your power bands. |
| Space Ghost: | Stay out of this, Moltar. The time has come for me to put a lid on this cosmic crackpot. |
| Gary Owens: | This looks like real trouble. Hand me that veeblefetzer. |
| Zorak: | Here ya go, buddy. (hands Gary a blast rifle) |
| Space Ghost: | You're counting on hitting me with that veeblefetzer, aren't you? |
| Gary Owens: | Oh, yes, yes. |
| Space Ghost: | Because then you will become me, right. |
| Gary Owens: | Oh, yes, yes. |
| Space Ghost: | That's just what I thought. Well, here's something you hadn't counted on, Gary. This set of auxiliary power bands, that I had hidden in my space cavity. Prepare for one of my harmful rays. (adjusts his power bands) Hold on a second. (bands make electronic noises; Space Ghost adjusts bands again) (quietly) You're gonna regret having messed with me. (presses button, but no ray, just a clunking sound) Turning it on. (makes sound like electronic flash charging) (quietly) Prepare... for one of my... harmful rays. |
| Gary Owens: | (as Gary) Hey, sock it to me! |
| Space Ghost: | Pucker up, Gary! (blasts Gary, whose hand is over his ear a la "Laugh-In") (smoke clears) Moltar, haul that to the Phantom Cruiser. |
| Warren: | (slides into view) No!! You've destroyed my creation! |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, you used that greasy replicant to lure me back here, didn't you? |
| Warren: | Yeah, you know it. |
| Space Ghost: | But why, Warren? |
| Warren: | Well... (laughs) (dramatic sting music) Never mind why. The past is just the future that already happened. Now come on over here and I'll cradle you. |
| Moltar: | (walks toward Warren) |
| Warren: | (to Moltar) Not you! (to Space Ghost) You! |
| Space Ghost: | I don't understand, Warren. |
| Warren: | Often we fear what we don't understand, Space Ghost. Come closer to me! |
| Space Ghost: | (steps closer to Warren) |
| Warren: | (sniffs) Closer! |
| Space Ghost: | (to himself: I must be out of my nut! What am I doing here? And why is Warren smelling me?) |
| Warren: | How're ya folks and all them? (edges closer to Space Ghost) |
| Space Ghost: | They're... all... kind of... uh... uh... |
| Warren: | Why don't you take your cape off? Ha! |
| Space Ghost: | No... please... |
| Warren: | Listen to me! Love and fear are often... the same thing. (sniffs) |
| Space Ghost: | Oh, okay. Well, thank you. |
| Warren: | Don't thank me. Just... (sniffs) hold me. |
| Space Ghost: | (touches Warren; smiles) |
| Warren: | Mmmmm! Prime rib! |
| Space Ghost: | Wait, wait a second... |
| (TV shows static and "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" theme music; static gives way to Warren at Space Ghost's desk) | |
| Warren: | (on TV) Greetings citizens! |
| Space Ghost: | Hey, what the... |
| Warren: | I'm Warren! Is everybody gettin' enough carbon dioxide? |
| (Dramatic sting music, zoom in to Space Ghost's face) | |
| Space Ghost: | Aha! That's why you brought me here! So you could steal my show! But you already have a show! Why, Warren, why? |
| Warren: | Well, you know, uh... (laughs) I just felt like it. |
| Space Ghost: | Well, you greedy manipulating yard shrub. I'm not going to let your Warren impostinator steal my show right out from under me (reaches for his power bands) |
| Warren: | But Space Ghost... How do you know that I'm not the impostinator? |
| Space Ghost: | Well... you've lost me there, Warren. And now you must pay, you hateful hedge. (blasts Warren) |
| Monitor: | You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'. You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'. |
| Space Ghost: | Tell 'em this. (blasts monitor) |
| Monitor: | You've destroyed Warren. I'm tell- (Blam!) |
| Space Ghost: | When you see 'em in Poland. |
| (Black screen with title: "The End") | |
| (TV in Space Ghost's living room shows "The End" title) | |
| Space Ghost: | That was good. What else is on? |
| (Television set, with "The Warren Show" title screen) | |
| Announcer: | (intro music) And now back to "The Warren Show". |
| (Shot of Space Ghost's apartment, with Moltar and Zorak) | |
| Space Ghost: | Ooh, I love Warren! |
| Warren: | Tell us, Space, what are your superpowers? |
| Gary Owens: | (as Space Ghost) I developed a few of my own, I, for example, can leap tall buildings in a single bound, I jump over buildings, I also have x-ray vision, and I can make change for a dollar. |
| Moltar: | (laughs) |
| Zorak: | (laughs) |
| Gary Owens: | Thank you. |
| Space Ghost: | Wait a minute! I don't remember... |
| Gary Owens: | I can also bend my thumb, by the way. |
| Space Ghost: | I've never been on "Warren"! That guy's a replicant! |
| Gary Owens: | I can bend a spoon with my mind, but it has to be a plastic spoon. (TV laughter) |
| Moltar: | Whoa! |
| Moltar: | (laughs) |
| Zorak: | (laughs) |
| Gary Owens: | I can't do the real spoon. (TV applause) |
| Space Ghost: | This is such bull! (blasts TV set) I am super-unsatisfied to be replicated in this way! Super-unsatisfied! I need to get to the bottom of this. Come on, boys! Let's take a ride! |
| Zorak: | Pick me up a hitch-hiker, would'ya? |
| Space Ghost: | You're coming with us, Zorak. We'll go see Warren, then we'll swing by the department store and get you some new slacks. |
| Zorak: | And a hitch-hiker? |
| Space Ghost: | We'll see. |
| Moltar: | Shotgun! |
| Zorak: | (slightly behind Moltar) Shotgun! |
| Moltar: | Yes! |
| (Phantom Cruiser flies through space) | |
| Zorak: | (hitting Moltar's seat from behind) (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Space Ghost: | (mocking) "I have x-ray vision and I can make change for a dollar!" |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Space Ghost: | I could make change for five dollars if I had to. |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Quit it! |
| (Cruiser approaches planetoid) | |
| Moltar: | Is this it? |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | QUIT IT! |
| Space Ghost: | Yup, it's just like I remember it. Oh, look, they put in a Mr. Winters over there. You see, boys, Warren was my mentor. He was the wind beneath my cape. I learned so much that summer. Perhaps... too much. (sound of brakes) L-let's go back. (shifts into reverse, Phantom Cruiser backs up) What am I doing? (brakes) I love Warren! I need to see him. (shifts gears, goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But I've been replicated. (goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But, I have been replicated. (grinds gears) (goes forward again) |
| (The Cruiser finally lands; the hatch opens, Space Ghost emerges, to dramatic music) | |
| Space Ghost: | (goes back inside) They were closed. |
| Zorak: | I wanna see! |
| Space Ghost: | There's nothing to see. Now, who wants new slacks? |
| Zorak: | I don't wear pants, and I don't know anyone who does! |
| Moltar: | Yeah! We wanna see Warren! |
| Space Ghost: | (sighs) All right. |
| (Space Ghost, Zorak and Moltar leave the ship and enter a cave) | |
| Monitor: | Welcome Space Ghost. Warren is expecting you. |
| (Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's power bands disappear) | |
| Space Ghost: | My power bands! |
| Monitor: | You know the rules. No weapons. |
| Zorak: | Hey. You live here? |
| Monitor: | Oh, I see you brought your mantis. |
| Moltar: | (clears throat) |
| Monitor: | And the fireman. How lucky. |
| Zorak: | Where's the tub? Can I have this? (sound of glass breaking) Uh, that was broke already. |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak... |
| Zorak: | Someone boiling vinegar? |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak! |
| Zorak: | What? |
| Space Ghost: | Shut your beak. |
| Zorak: | Before you... close it with medical sutures? |
| Space Ghost: | No, before I seal it using a powerful space-age adhesive, which I keep in my fanny pack. |
| Monitor: | You know the rules. No fanny packs. |
| (Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's fanny pack disappears) | |
| Space Ghost: | My breakfast bars! |
| Monitor: | Ladies and gentlemen of the arena, I give you... Warren. |
| (Warren rolls out, looking very much like a potted plant) | |
| Space Ghost: | Well, it's been a long time. |
| Warren: | Yeah. |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, I've been replicated, man! |
| Warren: | Hmph. Do I know you? |
| Space Ghost: | You tell me, pal. |
| Warren: | No, I don't know you. |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, you had me on your show last night. But I wasn't on your show last night! I was right there in my living room, watching you having me on your show. |
| Zorak: | Nice bush. |
| Warren: | Ah, that's funny, mantis. Funny bugs like you, talkin' like that in my castle, end up, lookin' for their teeth, two blocks away, on Quinn Street. |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak, let me handle this, please. |
| Zorak: | Nice... bush. |
| Warren: | Listen! I can burn you, like the crazy world of Arthur Brown. |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak! |
| Zorak: | Nice... bush. |
| (Warren zaps Zorak with a destructo ray) | |
| Warren: | We're both green, aren't we, Zorak? But I got rays, don't I!? Don't I? Don't I? |
| Moltar: | You better answer him. |
| Warren: | Don't I, Zorak? |
| Zorak: | Ah, go fertilize yourself. |
| Warren: | (zaps Zorak again several times) |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, I've come many miles... |
| Warren: | (zaps Zorak again) |
| Space Ghost: | ... to set myself before you today to find out why you've betrayed our sacred covenant. |
| Warren: | Do what now? |
| Space Ghost: | Who was that you had on your show, because it wasn't me. |
| Warren: | Aw, yeah. (chuckles) That was just Gary. |
| Space Ghost: | Gary, huh? |
| Warren: | Yeah. |
| Space Ghost: | Ga-ry. |
| Warren: | Yeah. (chuckles) |
| Space Ghost: | Garrrrrrry. |
| Warren: | Yep. |
| Space Ghost: | Are you tryin' to shuck me? |
| Warren: | Listen to me! Over there in the corner, you'll find a mystical cauldron. Conjure up Gary and he will appear before you. He knows the answers, to the questions that vex you so. Now I must adjourn, to my sunny spot, ah! (starts to roll away) |
| Space Ghost: | Wait, you didn't answer my question! I didn't come here to talk to a cauldron! Warren, wait! |
| Moltar: | He seemed like a good enough guy. |
| Zorak: | Yeah, very personable. |
| Space Ghost: | Come on, let's hold hands and conjure up this joker. |
| (Zorak, Space Ghost and Moltar are holding hands in front of a steaming cauldron) | |
| Space Ghost: | Gary... Om... (wolf howls in background) Hey, you guys have to do it too, or it won't work. |
| Zorak: | Oh. |
| Space Ghost: | Om... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Moltar: | Gary... Gary... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | Om... Om... |
| Zorak: | Gary... Gary... |
| Moltar: | Gary... |
| Space Ghost: | Gary... |
| Zorak: | Gary... |
| Space Ghost: | Om... |
| Moltar: | Gary... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | Gary... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Moltar: | Om... Gary... |
| Space Ghost: | Okay. |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | Got it. |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | We're good. We got it. |
| Gary Owens: | (in cauldron, as Space Ghost) (laughs) Thank you. |
| Space Ghost: | It's him! |
| Moltar: | Whoa! |
| Zorak: | It's Space Ghost! |
| Gary Owens: | It is indeed. |
| Space Ghost: | It is not indeed! Do you know who I am? Gary? Take a good look. I'm Space Ghost! |
| Gary Owens: | (coughs) You're what? |
| Space Ghost: | That's right, Gary. I'm the real Space Ghost. |
| Gary Owens: | So am I. |
| Space Ghost: | No, see, I'm the one who flew around the galaxy saving planets, not you! Where do you get off being me? |
| Gary Owens: | Uh, in the early days, back when, uh, when Space Ghost was first born, they let me play Space Ghost. And that was what, what a thrill. |
| Space Ghost: | Uh, who's "they"? |
| Gary Owens: | Mr. Joe Barbera, and Mr. Fred Silverman, gentlemen who chose me to play you. |
| Space Ghost: | Nobody plays me, Jack! I play me. |
| Moltar: | Hey Gary, who played me? |
| Gary Owens: | Moltar? Moltar, I have a picture of you. I have a picture of Zorak over there, when he was just a mild mutant. |
| Zorak: | Hey! Remember when I smashed your camera with that rock? |
| Gary Owens: | Oh, yes. It was, what wonder days. |
| Moltar: | Gary? Can you come home with us, and... be our new dad? |
| Space Ghost: | Now, wait just a second! Can't you see? Are ya all blind? Moltar! Zorak! This is all just some demented mind trick brought on by Warren! |
| Gary Owens: | I still have got the inviso-belt, I've got that in the trunk of the car right now. |
| Space Ghost: | Listen up, you deluded old freak. Don't make me use my power bands on you. |
| Moltar: | Space Ghost, uh... you don't have your power bands. |
| Space Ghost: | Stay out of this, Moltar. The time has come for me to put a lid on this cosmic crackpot. |
| Gary Owens: | This looks like real trouble. Hand me that veeblefetzer. |
| Zorak: | Here ya go, buddy. (hands Gary a blast rifle) |
| Space Ghost: | You're counting on hitting me with that veeblefetzer, aren't you? |
| Gary Owens: | Oh, yes, yes. |
| Space Ghost: | Because then you will become me, right. |
| Gary Owens: | Oh, yes, yes. |
| Space Ghost: | That's just what I thought. Well, here's something you hadn't counted on, Gary. This set of auxiliary power bands, that I had hidden in my space cavity. Prepare for one of my harmful rays. (adjusts his power bands) Hold on a second. (bands make electronic noises; Space Ghost adjusts bands again) (quietly) You're gonna regret having messed with me. (presses button, but no ray, just a clunking sound) Turning it on. (makes sound like electronic flash charging) (quietly) Prepare... for one of my... harmful rays. |
| Gary Owens: | (as Gary) Hey, sock it to me! |
| Space Ghost: | Pucker up, Gary! (blasts Gary, whose hand is over his ear a la "Laugh-In") (smoke clears) Moltar, haul that to the Phantom Cruiser. |
| Warren: | (slides into view) No!! You've destroyed my creation! |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, you used that greasy replicant to lure me back here, didn't you? |
| Warren: | Yeah, you know it. |
| Space Ghost: | But why, Warren? |
| Warren: | Well... (laughs) (dramatic sting music) Never mind why. The past is just the future that already happened. Now come on over here and I'll cradle you. |
| Moltar: | (walks toward Warren) |
| Warren: | (to Moltar) Not you! (to Space Ghost) You! |
| Space Ghost: | I don't understand, Warren. |
| Warren: | Often we fear what we don't understand, Space Ghost. Come closer to me! |
| Space Ghost: | (steps closer to Warren) |
| Warren: | (sniffs) Closer! |
| Space Ghost: | (to himself: I must be out of my nut! What am I doing here? And why is Warren smelling me?) |
| Warren: | How're ya folks and all them? (edges closer to Space Ghost) |
| Space Ghost: | They're... all... kind of... uh... uh... |
| Warren: | Why don't you take your cape off? Ha! |
| Space Ghost: | No... please... |
| Warren: | Listen to me! Love and fear are often... the same thing. (sniffs) |
| Space Ghost: | Oh, okay. Well, thank you. |
| Warren: | Don't thank me. Just... (sniffs) hold me. |
| Space Ghost: | (touches Warren; smiles) |
| Warren: | Mmmmm! Prime rib! |
| Space Ghost: | Wait, wait a second... |
| (TV shows static and "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" theme music; static gives way to Warren at Space Ghost's desk) | |
| Warren: | (on TV) Greetings citizens! |
| Space Ghost: | Hey, what the... |
| Warren: | I'm Warren! Is everybody gettin' enough carbon dioxide? |
| (Dramatic sting music, zoom in to Space Ghost's face) | |
| Space Ghost: | Aha! That's why you brought me here! So you could steal my show! But you already have a show! Why, Warren, why? |
| Warren: | Well, you know, uh... (laughs) I just felt like it. |
| Space Ghost: | Well, you greedy manipulating yard shrub. I'm not going to let your Warren impostinator steal my show right out from under me (reaches for his power bands) |
| Warren: | But Space Ghost... How do you know that I'm not the impostinator? |
| Space Ghost: | Well... you've lost me there, Warren. And now you must pay, you hateful hedge. (blasts Warren) |
| Monitor: | You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'. You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'. |
| Space Ghost: | Tell 'em this. (blasts monitor) |
| Monitor: | You've destroyed Warren. I'm tell- (Blam!) |
| Space Ghost: | When you see 'em in Pelham. |
| (Black screen with title: "The End") | |
| (TV in Space Ghost's living room shows "The End" title) | |
| Space Ghost: | That was good. What else is on? |
| (Television set, with "The Warren Show" title screen) | |
| Announcer: | (intro music) And now back to "The Warren Show". |
| (Shot of Space Ghost's apartment, with Moltar and Zorak) | |
| Space Ghost: | Ooh, I love Warren! |
| Warren: | Tell us, Space, what are your superpowers? |
| Gary Owens: | (as Space Ghost) I developed a few of my own, I, for example, can leap tall buildings in a single bound, I jump over buildings, I also have x-ray vision, and I can make change for a dollar. |
| Moltar: | (laughs) |
| Zorak: | (laughs) |
| Gary Owens: | Thank you. |
| Space Ghost: | Wait a minute! I don't remember... |
| Gary Owens: | I can also bend my thumb, by the way. |
| Space Ghost: | I've never been on "Warren"! That guy's a replicant! |
| Gary Owens: | I can bend a spoon with my mind, but it has to be a plastic spoon. (TV laughter) |
| Moltar: | Whoa! |
| Moltar: | (laughs) |
| Zorak: | (laughs) |
| Gary Owens: | I can't do the real spoon. (TV applause) |
| Space Ghost: | This is such bull! (blasts TV set) I am super-unsatisfied to be replicated in this way! Super-unsatisfied! I need to get to the bottom of this. Come on, boys! Let's take a ride! |
| Zorak: | Pick me up a hitch-hiker, would'ya? |
| Space Ghost: | You're coming with us, Zorak. We'll go see Warren, then we'll swing by the department store and get you some new slacks. |
| Zorak: | And a hitch-hiker? |
| Space Ghost: | We'll see. |
| Moltar: | Shotgun! |
| Zorak: | (slightly behind Moltar) Shotgun! |
| Moltar: | Yes! |
| (Phantom Cruiser flies through space) | |
| Zorak: | (hitting Moltar's seat from behind) (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Space Ghost: | (mocking) "I have x-ray vision and I can make change for a dollar!" |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Space Ghost: | I could make change for five dollars if I had to. |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Stop it! |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | Quit it! |
| (Cruiser approaches planetoid) | |
| Moltar: | Is this it? |
| Zorak: | (clank!) |
| Moltar: | QUIT IT! |
| Space Ghost: | Yup, it's just like I remember it. Oh, look, they put in a Mr. Winters over there. You see, boys, Warren was my mentor. He was the wind beneath my cape. I learned so much that summer. Perhaps... too much. (sound of brakes) L-let's go back. (shifts into reverse, Phantom Cruiser backs up) What am I doing? (brakes) I love Warren! I need to see him. (shifts gears, goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But I've been replicated. (goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But, I have been replicated. (grinds gears) (goes forward again) |
| (The Cruiser finally lands; the hatch opens, Space Ghost emerges, to dramatic music) | |
| Space Ghost: | (goes back inside) They were closed. |
| Zorak: | I wanna see! |
| Space Ghost: | There's nothing to see. Now, who wants new slacks? |
| Zorak: | I don't wear pants, and I don't know anyone who does! |
| Moltar: | Yeah! We wanna see Warren! |
| Space Ghost: | (sighs) All right. |
| (Space Ghost, Zorak and Moltar leave the ship and enter a cave) | |
| Monitor: | Welcome Space Ghost. Warren is expecting you. |
| (Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's power bands disappear) | |
| Space Ghost: | My power bands! |
| Monitor: | You know the rules. No weapons. |
| Zorak: | Hey. You live here? |
| Monitor: | Oh, I see you brought your mantis. |
| Moltar: | (clears throat) |
| Monitor: | And the fireman. How lucky. |
| Zorak: | Where's the tub? Can I have this? (sound of glass breaking) Uh, that was broke already. |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak... |
| Zorak: | Someone boiling vinegar? |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak! |
| Zorak: | What? |
| Space Ghost: | Shut your beak. |
| Zorak: | Before you... close it with medical sutures? |
| Space Ghost: | No, before I seal it using a powerful space-age adhesive, which I keep in my fanny pack. |
| Monitor: | You know the rules. No fanny packs. |
| (Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's fanny pack disappears) | |
| Space Ghost: | My breakfast bars! |
| Monitor: | Ladies and gentlemen of the arena, I give you... Warren. |
| (Warren rolls out, looking very much like a potted plant) | |
| Space Ghost: | Well, it's been a long time. |
| Warren: | Yeah. |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, I've been replicated, man! |
| Warren: | Hmph. Do I know you? |
| Space Ghost: | You tell me, pal. |
| Warren: | No, I don't know you. |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, you had me on your show last night. But I wasn't on your show last night! I was right there in my living room, watching you having me on your show. |
| Zorak: | Nice bush. |
| Warren: | Ah, that's funny, mantis. Funny bugs like you, talkin' like that in my castle, end up, lookin' for their teeth, two blocks away, on Quinn Street. |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak, let me handle this, please. |
| Zorak: | Nice... bush. |
| Warren: | Listen! I can burn you, like the crazy world of Arthur Brown. |
| Space Ghost: | Zorak! |
| Zorak: | Nice... bush. |
| (Warren zaps Zorak with a destructo ray) | |
| Warren: | We're both green, aren't we, Zorak? But I got rays, don't I!? Don't I? Don't I? |
| Moltar: | You better answer him. |
| Warren: | Don't I, Zorak? |
| Zorak: | Ah, go fertilize yourself. |
| Warren: | (zaps Zorak again several times) |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, I've come many miles... |
| Warren: | (zaps Zorak again) |
| Space Ghost: | ... to set myself before you today to find out why you've betrayed our sacred covenant. |
| Warren: | Do what now? |
| Space Ghost: | Who was that you had on your show, because it wasn't me. |
| Warren: | Aw, yeah. (chuckles) That was just Gary. |
| Space Ghost: | Gary, huh? |
| Warren: | Yeah. |
| Space Ghost: | Ga-ry. |
| Warren: | Yeah. (chuckles) |
| Space Ghost: | Garrrrrrry. |
| Warren: | Yep. |
| Space Ghost: | Are you tryin' to shuck me? |
| Warren: | Listen to me! Over there in the corner, you'll find a mystical cauldron. Conjure up Gary and he will appear before you. He knows the answers, to the questions that vex you so. Now I must adjourn, to my sunny spot, ah! (starts to roll away) |
| Space Ghost: | Wait, you didn't answer my question! I didn't come here to talk to a cauldron! Warren, wait! |
| Moltar: | He seemed like a good enough guy. |
| Zorak: | Yeah, very personable. |
| Space Ghost: | Come on, let's hold hands and conjure up this joker. |
| (Zorak, Space Ghost and Moltar are holding hands in front of a steaming cauldron) | |
| Space Ghost: | Gary... Om... (wolf howls in background) Hey, you guys have to do it too, or it won't work. |
| Zorak: | Oh. |
| Space Ghost: | Om... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Moltar: | Gary... Gary... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | Om... Om... |
| Zorak: | Gary... Gary... |
| Moltar: | Gary... |
| Space Ghost: | Gary... |
| Zorak: | Gary... |
| Space Ghost: | Om... |
| Moltar: | Gary... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | Gary... |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Moltar: | Om... Gary... |
| Space Ghost: | Okay. |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | Got it. |
| Zorak: | Om... |
| Space Ghost: | We're good. We got it. |
| Gary Owens: | (in cauldron, as Space Ghost) (laughs) Thank you. |
| Space Ghost: | It's him! |
| Moltar: | Whoa! |
| Zorak: | It's Space Ghost! |
| Gary Owens: | It is indeed. |
| Space Ghost: | It is not indeed! Do you know who I am? Gary? Take a good look. I'm Space Ghost! |
| Gary Owens: | (coughs) You're what? |
| Space Ghost: | That's right, Gary. I'm the real Space Ghost. |
| Gary Owens: | So am I. |
| Space Ghost: | No, see, I'm the one who flew around the galaxy saving planets, not you! Where do you get off being me? |
| Gary Owens: | Uh, in the early days, back when, uh, when Space Ghost was first born, they let me play Space Ghost. And that was what, what a thrill. |
| Space Ghost: | Uh, who's "they"? |
| Gary Owens: | Mr. Joe Barbera, and Mr. Fred Silverman, gentlemen who chose me to play you. |
| Space Ghost: | Nobody plays me, Jack! I play me. |
| Moltar: | Hey Gary, who played me? |
| Gary Owens: | Moltar? Moltar, I have a picture of you. I have a picture of Zorak over there, when he was just a mild mutant. |
| Zorak: | Hey! Remember when I smashed your camera with that rock? |
| Gary Owens: | Oh, yes. It was, what wonder days. |
| Moltar: | Gary? Can you come home with us, and... be our new dad? |
| Space Ghost: | Now, wait just a second! Can't you see? Are ya all blind? Moltar! Zorak! This is all just some demented mind trick brought on by Warren! |
| Gary Owens: | I still have got the inviso-belt, I've got that in the trunk of the car right now. |
| Space Ghost: | Listen up, you deluded old freak. Don't make me use my power bands on you. |
| Moltar: | Space Ghost, uh... you don't have your power bands. |
| Space Ghost: | Stay out of this, Moltar. The time has come for me to put a lid on this cosmic crackpot. |
| Gary Owens: | This looks like real trouble. Hand me that veeblefetzer. |
| Zorak: | Here ya go, buddy. (hands Gary a blast rifle) |
| Space Ghost: | You're counting on hitting me with that veeblefetzer, aren't you? |
| Gary Owens: | Oh, yes, yes. |
| Space Ghost: | Because then you will become me, right. |
| Gary Owens: | Oh, yes, yes. |
| Space Ghost: | That's just what I thought. Well, here's something you hadn't counted on, Gary. This set of auxiliary power bands, that I had hidden in my space cavity. Prepare for one of my harmful rays. (adjusts his power bands) Hold on a second. (bands make electronic noises; Space Ghost adjusts bands again) (quietly) You're gonna regret having messed with me. (presses button, but no ray, just a clunking sound) Turning it on. (makes sound like electronic flash charging) (quietly) Prepare... for one of my... harmful rays. |
| Gary Owens: | (as Gary) Hey, sock it to me! |
| Space Ghost: | Pucker up, Gary! (blasts Gary, whose hand is over his ear a la "Laugh-In") (smoke clears) Moltar, haul that to the Phantom Cruiser. |
| Warren: | (slides into view) No!! You've destroyed my creation! |
| Space Ghost: | Warren, you used that greasy replicant to lure me back here, didn't you? |
| Warren: | Yeah, you know it. |
| Space Ghost: | But why, Warren? |
| Warren: | Well... (laughs) (dramatic sting music) Never mind why. The past is just the future that already happened. Now come on over here and I'll cradle you. |
| Moltar: | (walks toward Warren) |
| Warren: | (to Moltar) Not you! (to Space Ghost) You! |
| Space Ghost: | I don't understand, Warren. |
| Warren: | Often we fear what we don't understand, Space Ghost. Come closer to me! |
| Space Ghost: | (steps closer to Warren) |
| Warren: | (sniffs) Closer! |
| Space Ghost: | (to himself: I must be out of my nut! What am I doing here? And why is Warren smelling me?) |
| Warren: | How're ya folks and all them? (edges closer to Space Ghost) |
| Space Ghost: | They're... all... kind of... uh... uh... |
| Warren: | Why don't you take your cape off? Ha! |
| Space Ghost: | No... please... |
| Warren: | Listen to me! Love and fear are often... the same thing. (sniffs) |
| Space Ghost: | Oh, okay. Well, thank you. |
| Warren: | Don't thank me. Just... (sniffs) hold me. |
| Space Ghost: | (touches Warren; smiles) |
| Warren: | Mmmmm! Prime rib! |
| Space Ghost: | Wait, wait a second... |
| (TV shows static and "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" theme music; static gives way to Warren at Space Ghost's desk) | |
| Warren: | (on TV) Greetings citizens! |
| Space Ghost: | Hey, what the... |
| Warren: | I'm Warren! Is everybody gettin' enough carbon dioxide? |
| (Dramatic sting music, zoom in to Space Ghost's face) | |
| Space Ghost: | Aha! That's why you brought me here! So you could steal my show! But you already have a show! Why, Warren, why? |
| Warren: | Well, you know, uh... (laughs) I just felt like it. |
| Space Ghost: | Well, you greedy manipulating yard shrub. I'm not going to let your Warren impostinator steal my show right out from under me (reaches for his power bands) |
| Warren: | But Space Ghost... How do you know that I'm not the impostinator? |
| Space Ghost: | Well... you've lost me there, Warren. And now you must pay, you hateful hedge. (blasts Warren) |
| Monitor: | You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'. You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'. |
| Space Ghost: | Tell 'em this. (blasts monitor) |
| Monitor: | You've destroyed Warren. I'm tell- (Blam!) |
| Space Ghost: | When you see 'em in Conyers. |
| (Black screen with title: "The End") | |
| (TV in Space Ghost's living room shows "The End" title) | |
| Space Ghost: | That was good. What else is on? |
| (Credits roll) | |
| Warren: | Ha! |
| GUEST STAR Gary Owens |
| WRITTEN BY Matt Maeillaro |
| EDITORS Ken Brady Jay Bellissimo |
| MUSIC Sonny Sharrock Man...or Astro-Man? |
| MUSICIANS Sonny Sharrock Lance Carter Eddie Horst Alfrieda Gerald Man...or Astro-Man? |
| VOICES George Lowe C. Martin Croker Colonel Bruce Hampton |
| DESIGN COMPANY Big Deal Cartoons |
| ANIMATION DIRECTOR C. Martin Croker |
| DIGITAL COMPOSITOR Dave Sillman |
| INK & PAINT Pat Epstein |
| CAMERA SUPERVISOR Ron Sutton |
| EFFECT DIRECTOR Brian Adler |
| TECHNICAL DIRECTOR Bryan Smythe |
| VIDEOGRAPHER Melinda Nichols |
| LIGHTING ASSISTS John Hallden Thomas Branch |
| TAPE John Parks |
| VIDEO SHADER Jim Reeves |
| RE-RECORDING MIXER Roy Clements |
| AUDIO CONFORM Mark Coddington |
| ON-LINE CONFORM Bob Woodhead |
| EDIT ASSISTS Joe Friou Dave DelBino |
| PRODUCTION MANAGER Vishal Roney |
| PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Anne Susan Brown |
| TALENT COORDINATOR Nina Bishop |
| PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Gus Jordan Maya McClure Sophia Psomiadis Michael Lazzo |
| INTERNS Keith Hill Aaron Vandemark |
| SPACE GHOST'S MALE SECRETARY Nathan Cook |
| SPECIAL THANKS Khaki Jones Lisa D. Ellis Kenny Crow Eric Santacroce Chris Moore Tom Roche Wilem Madison |
| ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN Alex Toth |
| WEBSITE PRODUCER Chip Duffey |
| ASSOCIATE PRODUCER Vishal Roney |
| ASSOCIATE PRODUCER Kaili Rubin |
| PRODUCER Jim Fortier |
| PRODUCER Barry Mills |
| PRODUCER Pete Smith |
| PRODUCER Dave Willis |
| EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Matt Harrigan |
| EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Keith Crofford |
© 1998 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
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