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Episode:62
Title:Warren
Original Air Date:September 3, 1998
Guest Star:Gary Owens
Synopsis:The gang takes a road--er, space trip to visit Warren, a hateful hedge who plots to take over Space Ghost's show. This show features Gary Owens, who originally voiced Space Ghost in the action series.

(Synopsis by Hen Solo)


Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed


Waiting
(Television set, with "The Warren Show" title screen)
Announcer:(intro music) And now back to "The Warren Show".
(Shot of Space Ghost's apartment, with Moltar and Zorak)
Space Ghost:Ooh, I love Warren!
Warren:Tell us, Space, what are your superpowers?
Gary Owens:(as Space Ghost) I developed a few of my own, I, for example, can leap tall buildings in a single bound, I jump over buildings, I also have x-ray vision, and I can make change for a dollar.
Moltar:(laughs)
Zorak:(laughs)
Gary Owens:Thank you.
Space Ghost:Wait a minute! I don't remember...
Gary Owens:I can also bend my thumb, by the way.
Space Ghost:I've never been on "Warren"! That guy's a replicant!
Gary Owens:I can bend a spoon with my mind, but it has to be a plastic spoon. (TV laughter)
Moltar:Whoa!
Moltar:(laughs)
Zorak:(laughs)
Gary Owens:I can't do the real spoon. (TV applause)
Space Ghost:This is such bull! (blasts TV set) I am super-unsatisfied to be replicated in this way! Super-unsatisfied! I need to get to the bottom of this. Come on, boys! Let's take a ride!
Zorak:Pick me up a hitch-hiker, would'ya?
Space Ghost:You're coming with us, Zorak. We'll go see Warren, then we'll swing by the department store and get you some new slacks.
Zorak:And a hitch-hiker?
Space Ghost:We'll see.
Moltar:Shotgun!
Zorak:(slightly behind Moltar) Shotgun!
Moltar:Yes!
(Phantom Cruiser flies through space)
Zorak:(hitting Moltar's seat from behind) (clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Space Ghost:(mocking) "I have x-ray vision and I can make change for a dollar!"
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Space Ghost:I could make change for five dollars if I had to.
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Quit it!
(Cruiser approaches planetoid)
Moltar:Is this it?
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:QUIT IT!
Space Ghost:Yup, it's just like I remember it. Oh, look, they put in a Mr. Winters over there. You see, boys, Warren was my mentor. He was the wind beneath my cape. I learned so much that summer. Perhaps... too much. (sound of brakes) L-let's go back. (shifts into reverse, Phantom Cruiser backs up) What am I doing? (brakes) I love Warren! I need to see him. (shifts gears, goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But I've been replicated. (goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But, I have been replicated. (grinds gears) (goes forward again)
(The Cruiser finally lands; the hatch opens, Space Ghost emerges, to dramatic music)
Space Ghost:(goes back inside) They were closed.
Zorak:I wanna see!
Space Ghost:There's nothing to see. Now, who wants new slacks?
Zorak:I don't wear pants, and I don't know anyone who does!
Moltar:Yeah! We wanna see Warren!
Space Ghost:(sighs) All right.
(Space Ghost, Zorak and Moltar leave the ship and enter a cave)
Monitor:Welcome Space Ghost. Warren is expecting you.
(Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's power bands disappear)
Space Ghost:My power bands!
Monitor:You know the rules. No weapons.
Zorak:Hey. You live here?
Monitor:Oh, I see you brought your mantis.
Moltar:(clears throat)
Monitor:And the fireman. How lucky.
Zorak:Where's the tub? Can I have this? (sound of glass breaking) Uh, that was broke already.
Space Ghost:Zorak...
Zorak:Someone boiling vinegar?
Space Ghost:Zorak!
Zorak:What?
Space Ghost:Shut your beak.
Zorak:Before you... close it with medical sutures?
Space Ghost:No, before I seal it using a powerful space-age adhesive, which I keep in my fanny pack.
Monitor:You know the rules. No fanny packs.
(Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's fanny pack disappears)
Space Ghost:My breakfast bars!
Monitor:Ladies and gentlemen of the arena, I give you... Warren.
(Warren rolls out, looking very much like a potted plant)
Space Ghost:Well, it's been a long time.
Warren:Yeah.
Space Ghost:Warren, I've been replicated, man!
Warren:Hmph. Do I know you?
Space Ghost:You tell me, pal.
Warren:No, I don't know you.
Space Ghost:Warren, you had me on your show last night. But I wasn't on your show last night! I was right there in my living room, watching you having me on your show.
Zorak:Nice bush.
Warren:Ah, that's funny, mantis. Funny bugs like you, talkin' like that in my castle, end up, lookin' for their teeth, two blocks away, on Quinn Street.
Space Ghost:Zorak, let me handle this, please.
Zorak:Nice... bush.
Warren:Listen! I can burn you, like the crazy world of Arthur Brown.
Space Ghost:Zorak!
Zorak:Nice... bush.
(Warren zaps Zorak with a destructo ray)
Warren:We're both green, aren't we, Zorak? But I got rays, don't I!? Don't I? Don't I?
Moltar:You better answer him.
Warren:Don't I, Zorak?
Zorak:Ah, go fertilize yourself.
Warren:(zaps Zorak again several times)
Space Ghost:Warren, I've come many miles...
Warren:(zaps Zorak again)
Space Ghost:... to set myself before you today to find out why you've betrayed our sacred covenant.
Warren:Do what now?
Space Ghost:Who was that you had on your show, because it wasn't me.
Warren:Aw, yeah. (chuckles) That was just Gary.
Space Ghost:Gary, huh?
Warren:Yeah.
Space Ghost:Ga-ry.
Warren:Yeah. (chuckles)
Space Ghost:Garrrrrrry.
Warren:Yep.
Space Ghost:Are you tryin' to shuck me?
Warren:Listen to me! Over there in the corner, you'll find a mystical cauldron. Conjure up Gary and he will appear before you. He knows the answers, to the questions that vex you so. Now I must adjourn, to my sunny spot, ah! (starts to roll away)
Space Ghost:Wait, you didn't answer my question! I didn't come here to talk to a cauldron! Warren, wait!
Moltar:He seemed like a good enough guy.
Zorak:Yeah, very personable.
Space Ghost:Come on, let's hold hands and conjure up this joker.
(Zorak, Space Ghost and Moltar are holding hands in front of a steaming cauldron)
Space Ghost:Gary... Om... (wolf howls in background) Hey, you guys have to do it too, or it won't work.
Zorak:Oh.
Space Ghost:Om...
Zorak:Om...
Moltar:Gary... Gary...
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:Om... Om...
Zorak:Gary... Gary...
Moltar:Gary...
Space Ghost:Gary...
Zorak:Gary...
Space Ghost:Om...
Moltar:Gary...
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:Gary...
Zorak:Om...
Moltar:Om... Gary...
Space Ghost:Okay.
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:Got it.
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:We're good. We got it.
Gary Owens:(in cauldron, as Space Ghost) (laughs) Thank you.
Space Ghost:It's him!
Moltar:Whoa!
Zorak:It's Space Ghost!
Gary Owens:It is indeed.
Space Ghost:It is not indeed! Do you know who I am? Gary? Take a good look. I'm Space Ghost!
Gary Owens:(coughs) You're what?
Space Ghost:That's right, Gary. I'm the real Space Ghost.
Gary Owens:So am I.
Space Ghost:No, see, I'm the one who flew around the galaxy saving planets, not you! Where do you get off being me?
Gary Owens:Uh, in the early days, back when, uh, when Space Ghost was first born, they let me play Space Ghost. And that was what, what a thrill.
Space Ghost:Uh, who's "they"?
Gary Owens:Mr. Joe Barbera, and Mr. Fred Silverman, gentlemen who chose me to play you.
Space Ghost:Nobody plays me, Jack! I play me.
Moltar:Hey Gary, who played me?
Gary Owens:Moltar? Moltar, I have a picture of you. I have a picture of Zorak over there, when he was just a mild mutant.
Zorak:Hey! Remember when I smashed your camera with that rock?
Gary Owens:Oh, yes. It was, what wonder days.
Moltar:Gary? Can you come home with us, and... be our new dad?
Space Ghost:Now, wait just a second! Can't you see? Are ya all blind? Moltar! Zorak! This is all just some demented mind trick brought on by Warren!
Gary Owens:I still have got the inviso-belt, I've got that in the trunk of the car right now.
Space Ghost:Listen up, you deluded old freak. Don't make me use my power bands on you.
Moltar:Space Ghost, uh... you don't have your power bands.
Space Ghost:Stay out of this, Moltar. The time has come for me to put a lid on this cosmic crackpot.
Gary Owens:This looks like real trouble. Hand me that veeblefetzer.
Zorak:Here ya go, buddy. (hands Gary a blast rifle)
Space Ghost:You're counting on hitting me with that veeblefetzer, aren't you?
Gary Owens:Oh, yes, yes.
Space Ghost:Because then you will become me, right.
Gary Owens:Oh, yes, yes.
Space Ghost:That's just what I thought. Well, here's something you hadn't counted on, Gary. This set of auxiliary power bands, that I had hidden in my space cavity. Prepare for one of my harmful rays. (adjusts his power bands) Hold on a second. (bands make electronic noises; Space Ghost adjusts bands again) (quietly) You're gonna regret having messed with me. (presses button, but no ray, just a clunking sound) Turning it on. (makes sound like electronic flash charging) (quietly) Prepare... for one of my... harmful rays.
Gary Owens:(as Gary) Hey, sock it to me!
Space Ghost:Pucker up, Gary! (blasts Gary, whose hand is over his ear a la "Laugh-In") (smoke clears) Moltar, haul that to the Phantom Cruiser.
Warren:(slides into view) No!! You've destroyed my creation!
Space Ghost:Warren, you used that greasy replicant to lure me back here, didn't you?
Warren:Yeah, you know it.
Space Ghost:But why, Warren?
Warren:Well... (laughs) (dramatic sting music) Never mind why. The past is just the future that already happened. Now come on over here and I'll cradle you.
Moltar:(walks toward Warren)
Warren:(to Moltar) Not you! (to Space Ghost) You!
Space Ghost:I don't understand, Warren.
Warren:Often we fear what we don't understand, Space Ghost. Come closer to me!
Space Ghost:(steps closer to Warren)
Warren:(sniffs) Closer!
Space Ghost:(to himself: I must be out of my nut! What am I doing here? And why is Warren smelling me?)
Warren:How're ya folks and all them? (edges closer to Space Ghost)
Space Ghost:They're... all... kind of... uh... uh...
Warren:Why don't you take your cape off? Ha!
Space Ghost:No... please...
Warren:Listen to me! Love and fear are often... the same thing. (sniffs)
Space Ghost:Oh, okay. Well, thank you.
Warren:Don't thank me. Just... (sniffs) hold me.
Space Ghost:(touches Warren; smiles)
Warren:Mmmmm! Prime rib!
Space Ghost:Wait, wait a second...
(TV shows static and "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" theme music; static gives way to Warren at Space Ghost's desk)
Warren:(on TV) Greetings citizens!
Space Ghost:Hey, what the...
Warren:I'm Warren! Is everybody gettin' enough carbon dioxide?
(Dramatic sting music, zoom in to Space Ghost's face)
Space Ghost:Aha! That's why you brought me here! So you could steal my show! But you already have a show! Why, Warren, why?
Warren:Well, you know, uh... (laughs) I just felt like it.
Space Ghost:Well, you greedy manipulating yard shrub. I'm not going to let your Warren impostinator steal my show right out from under me (reaches for his power bands)
Warren:But Space Ghost... How do you know that I'm not the impostinator?
Space Ghost:Well... you've lost me there, Warren. And now you must pay, you hateful hedge. (blasts Warren)
Monitor:You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'. You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'.
Space Ghost:Tell 'em this. (blasts monitor)
Monitor:You've destroyed Warren. I'm tell- (Blam!)
Space Ghost:When you see 'em in Poland.
(Black screen with title: "The End")
(TV in Space Ghost's living room shows "The End" title)
Space Ghost:That was good. What else is on?
(Television set, with "The Warren Show" title screen)
Announcer:(intro music) And now back to "The Warren Show".
(Shot of Space Ghost's apartment, with Moltar and Zorak)
Space Ghost:Ooh, I love Warren!
Warren:Tell us, Space, what are your superpowers?
Gary Owens:(as Space Ghost) I developed a few of my own, I, for example, can leap tall buildings in a single bound, I jump over buildings, I also have x-ray vision, and I can make change for a dollar.
Moltar:(laughs)
Zorak:(laughs)
Gary Owens:Thank you.
Space Ghost:Wait a minute! I don't remember...
Gary Owens:I can also bend my thumb, by the way.
Space Ghost:I've never been on "Warren"! That guy's a replicant!
Gary Owens:I can bend a spoon with my mind, but it has to be a plastic spoon. (TV laughter)
Moltar:Whoa!
Moltar:(laughs)
Zorak:(laughs)
Gary Owens:I can't do the real spoon. (TV applause)
Space Ghost:This is such bull! (blasts TV set) I am super-unsatisfied to be replicated in this way! Super-unsatisfied! I need to get to the bottom of this. Come on, boys! Let's take a ride!
Zorak:Pick me up a hitch-hiker, would'ya?
Space Ghost:You're coming with us, Zorak. We'll go see Warren, then we'll swing by the department store and get you some new slacks.
Zorak:And a hitch-hiker?
Space Ghost:We'll see.
Moltar:Shotgun!
Zorak:(slightly behind Moltar) Shotgun!
Moltar:Yes!
(Phantom Cruiser flies through space)
Zorak:(hitting Moltar's seat from behind) (clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Space Ghost:(mocking) "I have x-ray vision and I can make change for a dollar!"
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Space Ghost:I could make change for five dollars if I had to.
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Quit it!
(Cruiser approaches planetoid)
Moltar:Is this it?
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:QUIT IT!
Space Ghost:Yup, it's just like I remember it. Oh, look, they put in a Mr. Winters over there. You see, boys, Warren was my mentor. He was the wind beneath my cape. I learned so much that summer. Perhaps... too much. (sound of brakes) L-let's go back. (shifts into reverse, Phantom Cruiser backs up) What am I doing? (brakes) I love Warren! I need to see him. (shifts gears, goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But I've been replicated. (goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But, I have been replicated. (grinds gears) (goes forward again)
(The Cruiser finally lands; the hatch opens, Space Ghost emerges, to dramatic music)
Space Ghost:(goes back inside) They were closed.
Zorak:I wanna see!
Space Ghost:There's nothing to see. Now, who wants new slacks?
Zorak:I don't wear pants, and I don't know anyone who does!
Moltar:Yeah! We wanna see Warren!
Space Ghost:(sighs) All right.
(Space Ghost, Zorak and Moltar leave the ship and enter a cave)
Monitor:Welcome Space Ghost. Warren is expecting you.
(Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's power bands disappear)
Space Ghost:My power bands!
Monitor:You know the rules. No weapons.
Zorak:Hey. You live here?
Monitor:Oh, I see you brought your mantis.
Moltar:(clears throat)
Monitor:And the fireman. How lucky.
Zorak:Where's the tub? Can I have this? (sound of glass breaking) Uh, that was broke already.
Space Ghost:Zorak...
Zorak:Someone boiling vinegar?
Space Ghost:Zorak!
Zorak:What?
Space Ghost:Shut your beak.
Zorak:Before you... close it with medical sutures?
Space Ghost:No, before I seal it using a powerful space-age adhesive, which I keep in my fanny pack.
Monitor:You know the rules. No fanny packs.
(Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's fanny pack disappears)
Space Ghost:My breakfast bars!
Monitor:Ladies and gentlemen of the arena, I give you... Warren.
(Warren rolls out, looking very much like a potted plant)
Space Ghost:Well, it's been a long time.
Warren:Yeah.
Space Ghost:Warren, I've been replicated, man!
Warren:Hmph. Do I know you?
Space Ghost:You tell me, pal.
Warren:No, I don't know you.
Space Ghost:Warren, you had me on your show last night. But I wasn't on your show last night! I was right there in my living room, watching you having me on your show.
Zorak:Nice bush.
Warren:Ah, that's funny, mantis. Funny bugs like you, talkin' like that in my castle, end up, lookin' for their teeth, two blocks away, on Quinn Street.
Space Ghost:Zorak, let me handle this, please.
Zorak:Nice... bush.
Warren:Listen! I can burn you, like the crazy world of Arthur Brown.
Space Ghost:Zorak!
Zorak:Nice... bush.
(Warren zaps Zorak with a destructo ray)
Warren:We're both green, aren't we, Zorak? But I got rays, don't I!? Don't I? Don't I?
Moltar:You better answer him.
Warren:Don't I, Zorak?
Zorak:Ah, go fertilize yourself.
Warren:(zaps Zorak again several times)
Space Ghost:Warren, I've come many miles...
Warren:(zaps Zorak again)
Space Ghost:... to set myself before you today to find out why you've betrayed our sacred covenant.
Warren:Do what now?
Space Ghost:Who was that you had on your show, because it wasn't me.
Warren:Aw, yeah. (chuckles) That was just Gary.
Space Ghost:Gary, huh?
Warren:Yeah.
Space Ghost:Ga-ry.
Warren:Yeah. (chuckles)
Space Ghost:Garrrrrrry.
Warren:Yep.
Space Ghost:Are you tryin' to shuck me?
Warren:Listen to me! Over there in the corner, you'll find a mystical cauldron. Conjure up Gary and he will appear before you. He knows the answers, to the questions that vex you so. Now I must adjourn, to my sunny spot, ah! (starts to roll away)
Space Ghost:Wait, you didn't answer my question! I didn't come here to talk to a cauldron! Warren, wait!
Moltar:He seemed like a good enough guy.
Zorak:Yeah, very personable.
Space Ghost:Come on, let's hold hands and conjure up this joker.
(Zorak, Space Ghost and Moltar are holding hands in front of a steaming cauldron)
Space Ghost:Gary... Om... (wolf howls in background) Hey, you guys have to do it too, or it won't work.
Zorak:Oh.
Space Ghost:Om...
Zorak:Om...
Moltar:Gary... Gary...
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:Om... Om...
Zorak:Gary... Gary...
Moltar:Gary...
Space Ghost:Gary...
Zorak:Gary...
Space Ghost:Om...
Moltar:Gary...
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:Gary...
Zorak:Om...
Moltar:Om... Gary...
Space Ghost:Okay.
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:Got it.
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:We're good. We got it.
Gary Owens:(in cauldron, as Space Ghost) (laughs) Thank you.
Space Ghost:It's him!
Moltar:Whoa!
Zorak:It's Space Ghost!
Gary Owens:It is indeed.
Space Ghost:It is not indeed! Do you know who I am? Gary? Take a good look. I'm Space Ghost!
Gary Owens:(coughs) You're what?
Space Ghost:That's right, Gary. I'm the real Space Ghost.
Gary Owens:So am I.
Space Ghost:No, see, I'm the one who flew around the galaxy saving planets, not you! Where do you get off being me?
Gary Owens:Uh, in the early days, back when, uh, when Space Ghost was first born, they let me play Space Ghost. And that was what, what a thrill.
Space Ghost:Uh, who's "they"?
Gary Owens:Mr. Joe Barbera, and Mr. Fred Silverman, gentlemen who chose me to play you.
Space Ghost:Nobody plays me, Jack! I play me.
Moltar:Hey Gary, who played me?
Gary Owens:Moltar? Moltar, I have a picture of you. I have a picture of Zorak over there, when he was just a mild mutant.
Zorak:Hey! Remember when I smashed your camera with that rock?
Gary Owens:Oh, yes. It was, what wonder days.
Moltar:Gary? Can you come home with us, and... be our new dad?
Space Ghost:Now, wait just a second! Can't you see? Are ya all blind? Moltar! Zorak! This is all just some demented mind trick brought on by Warren!
Gary Owens:I still have got the inviso-belt, I've got that in the trunk of the car right now.
Space Ghost:Listen up, you deluded old freak. Don't make me use my power bands on you.
Moltar:Space Ghost, uh... you don't have your power bands.
Space Ghost:Stay out of this, Moltar. The time has come for me to put a lid on this cosmic crackpot.
Gary Owens:This looks like real trouble. Hand me that veeblefetzer.
Zorak:Here ya go, buddy. (hands Gary a blast rifle)
Space Ghost:You're counting on hitting me with that veeblefetzer, aren't you?
Gary Owens:Oh, yes, yes.
Space Ghost:Because then you will become me, right.
Gary Owens:Oh, yes, yes.
Space Ghost:That's just what I thought. Well, here's something you hadn't counted on, Gary. This set of auxiliary power bands, that I had hidden in my space cavity. Prepare for one of my harmful rays. (adjusts his power bands) Hold on a second. (bands make electronic noises; Space Ghost adjusts bands again) (quietly) You're gonna regret having messed with me. (presses button, but no ray, just a clunking sound) Turning it on. (makes sound like electronic flash charging) (quietly) Prepare... for one of my... harmful rays.
Gary Owens:(as Gary) Hey, sock it to me!
Space Ghost:Pucker up, Gary! (blasts Gary, whose hand is over his ear a la "Laugh-In") (smoke clears) Moltar, haul that to the Phantom Cruiser.
Warren:(slides into view) No!! You've destroyed my creation!
Space Ghost:Warren, you used that greasy replicant to lure me back here, didn't you?
Warren:Yeah, you know it.
Space Ghost:But why, Warren?
Warren:Well... (laughs) (dramatic sting music) Never mind why. The past is just the future that already happened. Now come on over here and I'll cradle you.
Moltar:(walks toward Warren)
Warren:(to Moltar) Not you! (to Space Ghost) You!
Space Ghost:I don't understand, Warren.
Warren:Often we fear what we don't understand, Space Ghost. Come closer to me!
Space Ghost:(steps closer to Warren)
Warren:(sniffs) Closer!
Space Ghost:(to himself: I must be out of my nut! What am I doing here? And why is Warren smelling me?)
Warren:How're ya folks and all them? (edges closer to Space Ghost)
Space Ghost:They're... all... kind of... uh... uh...
Warren:Why don't you take your cape off? Ha!
Space Ghost:No... please...
Warren:Listen to me! Love and fear are often... the same thing. (sniffs)
Space Ghost:Oh, okay. Well, thank you.
Warren:Don't thank me. Just... (sniffs) hold me.
Space Ghost:(touches Warren; smiles)
Warren:Mmmmm! Prime rib!
Space Ghost:Wait, wait a second...
(TV shows static and "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" theme music; static gives way to Warren at Space Ghost's desk)
Warren:(on TV) Greetings citizens!
Space Ghost:Hey, what the...
Warren:I'm Warren! Is everybody gettin' enough carbon dioxide?
(Dramatic sting music, zoom in to Space Ghost's face)
Space Ghost:Aha! That's why you brought me here! So you could steal my show! But you already have a show! Why, Warren, why?
Warren:Well, you know, uh... (laughs) I just felt like it.
Space Ghost:Well, you greedy manipulating yard shrub. I'm not going to let your Warren impostinator steal my show right out from under me (reaches for his power bands)
Warren:But Space Ghost... How do you know that I'm not the impostinator?
Space Ghost:Well... you've lost me there, Warren. And now you must pay, you hateful hedge. (blasts Warren)
Monitor:You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'. You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'.
Space Ghost:Tell 'em this. (blasts monitor)
Monitor:You've destroyed Warren. I'm tell- (Blam!)
Space Ghost:When you see 'em in Pelham.
(Black screen with title: "The End")
(TV in Space Ghost's living room shows "The End" title)
Space Ghost:That was good. What else is on?
(Television set, with "The Warren Show" title screen)
Announcer:(intro music) And now back to "The Warren Show".
(Shot of Space Ghost's apartment, with Moltar and Zorak)
Space Ghost:Ooh, I love Warren!
Warren:Tell us, Space, what are your superpowers?
Gary Owens:(as Space Ghost) I developed a few of my own, I, for example, can leap tall buildings in a single bound, I jump over buildings, I also have x-ray vision, and I can make change for a dollar.
Moltar:(laughs)
Zorak:(laughs)
Gary Owens:Thank you.
Space Ghost:Wait a minute! I don't remember...
Gary Owens:I can also bend my thumb, by the way.
Space Ghost:I've never been on "Warren"! That guy's a replicant!
Gary Owens:I can bend a spoon with my mind, but it has to be a plastic spoon. (TV laughter)
Moltar:Whoa!
Moltar:(laughs)
Zorak:(laughs)
Gary Owens:I can't do the real spoon. (TV applause)
Space Ghost:This is such bull! (blasts TV set) I am super-unsatisfied to be replicated in this way! Super-unsatisfied! I need to get to the bottom of this. Come on, boys! Let's take a ride!
Zorak:Pick me up a hitch-hiker, would'ya?
Space Ghost:You're coming with us, Zorak. We'll go see Warren, then we'll swing by the department store and get you some new slacks.
Zorak:And a hitch-hiker?
Space Ghost:We'll see.
Moltar:Shotgun!
Zorak:(slightly behind Moltar) Shotgun!
Moltar:Yes!
(Phantom Cruiser flies through space)
Zorak:(hitting Moltar's seat from behind) (clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Space Ghost:(mocking) "I have x-ray vision and I can make change for a dollar!"
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Space Ghost:I could make change for five dollars if I had to.
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Stop it!
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:Quit it!
(Cruiser approaches planetoid)
Moltar:Is this it?
Zorak:(clank!)
Moltar:QUIT IT!
Space Ghost:Yup, it's just like I remember it. Oh, look, they put in a Mr. Winters over there. You see, boys, Warren was my mentor. He was the wind beneath my cape. I learned so much that summer. Perhaps... too much. (sound of brakes) L-let's go back. (shifts into reverse, Phantom Cruiser backs up) What am I doing? (brakes) I love Warren! I need to see him. (shifts gears, goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But I've been replicated. (goes forward again) But he hurts me. (brakes) But, I have been replicated. (grinds gears) (goes forward again)
(The Cruiser finally lands; the hatch opens, Space Ghost emerges, to dramatic music)
Space Ghost:(goes back inside) They were closed.
Zorak:I wanna see!
Space Ghost:There's nothing to see. Now, who wants new slacks?
Zorak:I don't wear pants, and I don't know anyone who does!
Moltar:Yeah! We wanna see Warren!
Space Ghost:(sighs) All right.
(Space Ghost, Zorak and Moltar leave the ship and enter a cave)
Monitor:Welcome Space Ghost. Warren is expecting you.
(Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's power bands disappear)
Space Ghost:My power bands!
Monitor:You know the rules. No weapons.
Zorak:Hey. You live here?
Monitor:Oh, I see you brought your mantis.
Moltar:(clears throat)
Monitor:And the fireman. How lucky.
Zorak:Where's the tub? Can I have this? (sound of glass breaking) Uh, that was broke already.
Space Ghost:Zorak...
Zorak:Someone boiling vinegar?
Space Ghost:Zorak!
Zorak:What?
Space Ghost:Shut your beak.
Zorak:Before you... close it with medical sutures?
Space Ghost:No, before I seal it using a powerful space-age adhesive, which I keep in my fanny pack.
Monitor:You know the rules. No fanny packs.
(Dramatic sting music - Space Ghost's fanny pack disappears)
Space Ghost:My breakfast bars!
Monitor:Ladies and gentlemen of the arena, I give you... Warren.
(Warren rolls out, looking very much like a potted plant)
Space Ghost:Well, it's been a long time.
Warren:Yeah.
Space Ghost:Warren, I've been replicated, man!
Warren:Hmph. Do I know you?
Space Ghost:You tell me, pal.
Warren:No, I don't know you.
Space Ghost:Warren, you had me on your show last night. But I wasn't on your show last night! I was right there in my living room, watching you having me on your show.
Zorak:Nice bush.
Warren:Ah, that's funny, mantis. Funny bugs like you, talkin' like that in my castle, end up, lookin' for their teeth, two blocks away, on Quinn Street.
Space Ghost:Zorak, let me handle this, please.
Zorak:Nice... bush.
Warren:Listen! I can burn you, like the crazy world of Arthur Brown.
Space Ghost:Zorak!
Zorak:Nice... bush.
(Warren zaps Zorak with a destructo ray)
Warren:We're both green, aren't we, Zorak? But I got rays, don't I!? Don't I? Don't I?
Moltar:You better answer him.
Warren:Don't I, Zorak?
Zorak:Ah, go fertilize yourself.
Warren:(zaps Zorak again several times)
Space Ghost:Warren, I've come many miles...
Warren:(zaps Zorak again)
Space Ghost:... to set myself before you today to find out why you've betrayed our sacred covenant.
Warren:Do what now?
Space Ghost:Who was that you had on your show, because it wasn't me.
Warren:Aw, yeah. (chuckles) That was just Gary.
Space Ghost:Gary, huh?
Warren:Yeah.
Space Ghost:Ga-ry.
Warren:Yeah. (chuckles)
Space Ghost:Garrrrrrry.
Warren:Yep.
Space Ghost:Are you tryin' to shuck me?
Warren:Listen to me! Over there in the corner, you'll find a mystical cauldron. Conjure up Gary and he will appear before you. He knows the answers, to the questions that vex you so. Now I must adjourn, to my sunny spot, ah! (starts to roll away)
Space Ghost:Wait, you didn't answer my question! I didn't come here to talk to a cauldron! Warren, wait!
Moltar:He seemed like a good enough guy.
Zorak:Yeah, very personable.
Space Ghost:Come on, let's hold hands and conjure up this joker.
(Zorak, Space Ghost and Moltar are holding hands in front of a steaming cauldron)
Space Ghost:Gary... Om... (wolf howls in background) Hey, you guys have to do it too, or it won't work.
Zorak:Oh.
Space Ghost:Om...
Zorak:Om...
Moltar:Gary... Gary...
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:Om... Om...
Zorak:Gary... Gary...
Moltar:Gary...
Space Ghost:Gary...
Zorak:Gary...
Space Ghost:Om...
Moltar:Gary...
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:Gary...
Zorak:Om...
Moltar:Om... Gary...
Space Ghost:Okay.
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:Got it.
Zorak:Om...
Space Ghost:We're good. We got it.
Gary Owens:(in cauldron, as Space Ghost) (laughs) Thank you.
Space Ghost:It's him!
Moltar:Whoa!
Zorak:It's Space Ghost!
Gary Owens:It is indeed.
Space Ghost:It is not indeed! Do you know who I am? Gary? Take a good look. I'm Space Ghost!
Gary Owens:(coughs) You're what?
Space Ghost:That's right, Gary. I'm the real Space Ghost.
Gary Owens:So am I.
Space Ghost:No, see, I'm the one who flew around the galaxy saving planets, not you! Where do you get off being me?
Gary Owens:Uh, in the early days, back when, uh, when Space Ghost was first born, they let me play Space Ghost. And that was what, what a thrill.
Space Ghost:Uh, who's "they"?
Gary Owens:Mr. Joe Barbera, and Mr. Fred Silverman, gentlemen who chose me to play you.
Space Ghost:Nobody plays me, Jack! I play me.
Moltar:Hey Gary, who played me?
Gary Owens:Moltar? Moltar, I have a picture of you. I have a picture of Zorak over there, when he was just a mild mutant.
Zorak:Hey! Remember when I smashed your camera with that rock?
Gary Owens:Oh, yes. It was, what wonder days.
Moltar:Gary? Can you come home with us, and... be our new dad?
Space Ghost:Now, wait just a second! Can't you see? Are ya all blind? Moltar! Zorak! This is all just some demented mind trick brought on by Warren!
Gary Owens:I still have got the inviso-belt, I've got that in the trunk of the car right now.
Space Ghost:Listen up, you deluded old freak. Don't make me use my power bands on you.
Moltar:Space Ghost, uh... you don't have your power bands.
Space Ghost:Stay out of this, Moltar. The time has come for me to put a lid on this cosmic crackpot.
Gary Owens:This looks like real trouble. Hand me that veeblefetzer.
Zorak:Here ya go, buddy. (hands Gary a blast rifle)
Space Ghost:You're counting on hitting me with that veeblefetzer, aren't you?
Gary Owens:Oh, yes, yes.
Space Ghost:Because then you will become me, right.
Gary Owens:Oh, yes, yes.
Space Ghost:That's just what I thought. Well, here's something you hadn't counted on, Gary. This set of auxiliary power bands, that I had hidden in my space cavity. Prepare for one of my harmful rays. (adjusts his power bands) Hold on a second. (bands make electronic noises; Space Ghost adjusts bands again) (quietly) You're gonna regret having messed with me. (presses button, but no ray, just a clunking sound) Turning it on. (makes sound like electronic flash charging) (quietly) Prepare... for one of my... harmful rays.
Gary Owens:(as Gary) Hey, sock it to me!
Space Ghost:Pucker up, Gary! (blasts Gary, whose hand is over his ear a la "Laugh-In") (smoke clears) Moltar, haul that to the Phantom Cruiser.
Warren:(slides into view) No!! You've destroyed my creation!
Space Ghost:Warren, you used that greasy replicant to lure me back here, didn't you?
Warren:Yeah, you know it.
Space Ghost:But why, Warren?
Warren:Well... (laughs) (dramatic sting music) Never mind why. The past is just the future that already happened. Now come on over here and I'll cradle you.
Moltar:(walks toward Warren)
Warren:(to Moltar) Not you! (to Space Ghost) You!
Space Ghost:I don't understand, Warren.
Warren:Often we fear what we don't understand, Space Ghost. Come closer to me!
Space Ghost:(steps closer to Warren)
Warren:(sniffs) Closer!
Space Ghost:(to himself: I must be out of my nut! What am I doing here? And why is Warren smelling me?)
Warren:How're ya folks and all them? (edges closer to Space Ghost)
Space Ghost:They're... all... kind of... uh... uh...
Warren:Why don't you take your cape off? Ha!
Space Ghost:No... please...
Warren:Listen to me! Love and fear are often... the same thing. (sniffs)
Space Ghost:Oh, okay. Well, thank you.
Warren:Don't thank me. Just... (sniffs) hold me.
Space Ghost:(touches Warren; smiles)
Warren:Mmmmm! Prime rib!
Space Ghost:Wait, wait a second...
(TV shows static and "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" theme music; static gives way to Warren at Space Ghost's desk)
Warren:(on TV) Greetings citizens!
Space Ghost:Hey, what the...
Warren:I'm Warren! Is everybody gettin' enough carbon dioxide?
(Dramatic sting music, zoom in to Space Ghost's face)
Space Ghost:Aha! That's why you brought me here! So you could steal my show! But you already have a show! Why, Warren, why?
Warren:Well, you know, uh... (laughs) I just felt like it.
Space Ghost:Well, you greedy manipulating yard shrub. I'm not going to let your Warren impostinator steal my show right out from under me (reaches for his power bands)
Warren:But Space Ghost... How do you know that I'm not the impostinator?
Space Ghost:Well... you've lost me there, Warren. And now you must pay, you hateful hedge. (blasts Warren)
Monitor:You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'. You've destroyed Warren. I'm tellin'.
Space Ghost:Tell 'em this. (blasts monitor)
Monitor:You've destroyed Warren. I'm tell- (Blam!)
Space Ghost:When you see 'em in Conyers.
(Black screen with title: "The End")
(TV in Space Ghost's living room shows "The End" title)
Space Ghost:That was good. What else is on?
(Credits roll)
Warren:Ha!

GUEST STAR
Gary Owens
WRITTEN BY
Matt Maeillaro
EDITORS
Ken Brady
Jay Bellissimo
MUSIC
Sonny Sharrock
Man...or Astro-Man?
MUSICIANS
Sonny Sharrock
Lance Carter
Eddie Horst
Alfrieda Gerald
Man...or Astro-Man?
VOICES
George Lowe
C. Martin Croker
Colonel Bruce Hampton
DESIGN COMPANY
Big Deal Cartoons
ANIMATION DIRECTOR
C. Martin Croker
DIGITAL COMPOSITOR
Dave Sillman
INK & PAINT
Pat Epstein
CAMERA SUPERVISOR
Ron Sutton
EFFECT DIRECTOR
Brian Adler
TECHNICAL DIRECTOR
Bryan Smythe
VIDEOGRAPHER
Melinda Nichols
LIGHTING ASSISTS
John Hallden
Thomas Branch
TAPE
John Parks
VIDEO SHADER
Jim Reeves
RE-RECORDING MIXER
Roy Clements
AUDIO CONFORM
Mark Coddington
ON-LINE CONFORM
Bob Woodhead
EDIT ASSISTS
Joe Friou
Dave DelBino
PRODUCTION MANAGER
Vishal Roney
PRODUCTION COORDINATOR
Anne Susan Brown
TALENT COORDINATOR
Nina Bishop
PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS
Gus Jordan
Maya McClure
Sophia Psomiadis
Michael Lazzo
INTERNS
Keith Hill
Aaron Vandemark
SPACE GHOST'S MALE SECRETARY
Nathan Cook
SPECIAL THANKS
Khaki Jones
Lisa D. Ellis
Kenny Crow
Eric Santacroce
Chris Moore
Tom Roche
Wilem Madison
ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN
Alex Toth
WEBSITE PRODUCER
Chip Duffey
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER
Vishal Roney
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER
Kaili Rubin
PRODUCER
Jim Fortier
PRODUCER
Barry Mills
PRODUCER
Pete Smith
PRODUCER
Dave Willis
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Matt Harrigan
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Keith Crofford

© 1998 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.


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