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Original Air Date:September 10, 1998
Guest Stars:Tyra Banks, Rebecca Romijn

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Space Ghost (SG): (invisos in to set) Hello! And behold, for I am the Space Ghost. King of space and all that it contains.
Zorak (Z): Question.
SG: On tonight's crude mix of animation and jarring live action footage, we have Tyra Banks...
Z: Question.
SG: No questions, please. And, Rebecca Romijn.
Z: Question.
SG: Please hold all questions until after the show.
Z: Statement?
SG: No statements, thank you.
Z: Comment?
SG: I have no comment at this time. Thank you all for coming.
(Lights start to flash on and off, Space Ghost invisos out. Rags is in the control room, he jumps onto the control console. Credits roll)
Z: (stares)
SG: (looks at Zorak)
Z: I am Zorak! Dark lord of inequity! Bow down before me!
SG: (looks at Zorak)
Z: (sighs, looks away)
SG: Please welcome my first guest, Tyra Banks! (waits for monitor to lower, nothing happens)
Z: (off camera) (terrible keyboard noise) Argggh! Shoot it! (Rags is sitting on Zorak's keyboard) Shoot it! (Rags makes sounds by walking on keyboard)
SG: Zorak, that's no way to greet our new director.
Z: (peeks up from pod, with Rags still lying on keyboard) Where's Moltar?
SG: Who? Oh, I traded him.
Z: For this hairy pile of meat? (Rags finally jumps down from keyboard)
SG: This "hairy pile of meat", Zorak, is a highly skilled director, with impeccable comic timing. (Rags walks over and lays down in front of Space Ghost's desk) Not to mention he can clean his entire body using only his tongue. Which is more than I can say for Jerktar.
Z: Dog's can't direct.
SG: And mantises can't play keyboards, right?
Z: (plays keyboard, it makes terrible noises)
SG: Zorak, break time is over.
Z: (continues playing noises)
SG: (aims power bands, all of a sudden noises are replaced by pop instrumental music) (smiles)
Z: (starts playing noises again)
SG: (blasts Zorak with destructo ray)
Z: (coughs)
SG: Mm! (dramatic music in background) This dog, who they said couldn't direct, is gonna take this show, which they said couldn't be done, and turn it into a show (Rags jumps up on Space Ghost's desk) that has never been done. (stands up) Before. (to Rags) Go get Tyra! (Rags jumps down) That's a boy!
Z: So... who'd ya trade Moltar to?
(Picture of Japanese ballpark)
Announcer (A): (says a bunch of Japanese stuff) ... MOL-TAR!
Moltar (M): (in dugout) Huh?
Z: You got ripped. (laughs)
SG: Oh yeah? Well, how about I also received Mookie Wilson, Omar Moreno, and a bag of cats.
Z: Oh, where are they? Break 'em out!
SG: Well, Mookie and Omar decided to sleep in...
Z: Yeah, yeah, yeah, what about the cats?
SG: What cats?
Z: They gave you cats, right?
SG: Yeah!
(Backstage, large yellow armored monster terrorizes three kittens)
SG: Please welcome my first guest, Tyra Banks! (waits for monitor to lower, nothing happens)
Z: (stares at Space Ghost)
SG: (invisos to control room) (to Rags) That was your cue.
Rags (R): (walks away)
SG: Good idea, you go familiarize yourself with the manual and... I'll just get you started. (walks up to control room monitor) Zorak, where's the lever?
Z: I am Zorak! Dark Lord of...
SG: Whatever. (presses a button, gets shocked & thrown back. Tyra appears)
Tyra Banks (TB): (laughs)
SG: (sitting on floor) Tyra?
TB: Yes.
SG: (flies back to his desk)
TB: (blows kiss to Zorak)
Z: (starts wheezing and panting)
SG: (bounds into his chair) Ladies and gentlemen - shut up, Z...
TB: Hello universe, my name is Tyra Banks.
SG: Ty-ra. Ra! That's the Egyptian sun god. So, I guess that makes you Egyptian.
TB: Actually, well, I'm, I -
SG: Here's something about your culture you probably don't know. Ra is actually short for Roger.
TB: I think it's really nice it's -
SG: Also a sports term which, translated roughly, means, "Cheers". Did you ever watch that show? It was pretty good.
TB: (opens her mouth to talk)
SG: Here's something else you might not know. "Cheers" was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
TB: (nods) Well, we have like some kind of space -
SG: Although I don't know if I believe that.
TB: Well, I -
SG: Seriously I don't.
TB: But it's not -
SG: That reminds me of a story I think you'll find fascinating.
(Transition with harp music - Space Ghost is in mail room)
SG: I would like one stamp, please.
Mail Room Guy (MRG): That'll be thirty-two cents.
SG: I don't have any money.
(Transition back to studio)
SG: (laughs) True story.
TB: Well, I know -
SG: Did I mention that I like to sketch?
TB: No.
SG: I'm pretty deep that way. Why don't you sit still as I capture your essense in colored pencil?
TB: (smiles and waits uncomfortably while Space Ghost sketches)
SG: (sketches for a long time, then looks up momentarily: sketches again) So, you're workin' it with John Stamos. That's a good one.
TB: That's not me! That's your next guest!
SG: Nice try. (looks at note card) It says right here, "Ask Tyra about John Stamos".
TB: "Ask Tyra about John Stamos"? No, that's my good friend's fiance, and that's all I know.
SG: (stares at note card) (to himself: My note cards have been desequencified.) This smells like the work of Zorak!
Z: Yes, it was I, Zorak! Emerald rogue! Wronger of rights! Pincher of sensitive areas!
SG: That's the best you can do.
Z: Eh... I'm not myself without Moltar.
(Piano accompaniment begins, Zorak recites poem, with subtitles and bouncing Moltar head)
Z: Goodbye to you, my molten friend
We've known each other
Since we were in the pen
Together we climbed hills and trees
Learned assault and battery
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
SG: You're losin' your edge.
(In control room)
R: (Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!)
Z: (on monitor) (hisses at Rags)
R: (Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!)
Z: (evil laugh)
SG: What'd he say?
Z: He had a question about the, um... component.
SG: (looks up, then resumes sketching)
TB: (smiling uncomfortably) Space Ghost, you're so...
SG: I'm really creative. Sometimes I wear an eyepatch because I'm so creative.
TB: I have no idea...
SG: Plus, I'm mysterious. People wonder about me.
TB: Yeah.
SG: (finishes sketching) Okay. Take a look at this. (holds up sketch titled "Tyra!", with badly drawn caricature) That's you! Pretty good, huh?
TB: (pained look) It's okay.
SG: Ever get a big zit on your back?
TB: (disgusted look)
(Credits roll prematurely again)
SG: Tyra? Tyra... (invisos back to control room)
(Rags is chewing on something)
SG: Bad director! Bad director! What the... My retainer!
(Moltar is standing in the middle of the baseball field, organ music and crowd noises in background)
M: Please strike out, please strike out, please strike out, please strike - (CRACK!) Oh no... Please go to the fence, please go to the fence, please go to the fence, please go to the fence... (BALL DROPS AND ROLLS JUST PAST HIM; HE JUST STANDS THERE)
Voice (V): Moltar! (Japanese cursing)
(Back in studio)
SG: Please welcome my next guest, Rebecca Romijn.
(Monitor displays funny patterns, but no Rebecca)
Rebecca Romijn (RR): (voice only) Hello, Space Ghost!
SG: Rebecca? Where are you?
(In control room, Rags lies on the floor)
RR: (on monitor) Hello? Hello, hello, hello?
SG: Rebecca, turn off your inviso-power.
RR: I'm here, I'm here, I'm right here.
SG: Oh no! Can it be? Have I lost the gift of sight in not one, but both eyes?
Z: Simmer down there, Sandra Dee.
SG: (looking up) Zorak? Is that you? My oldest and truest evil bandleader? (turns and looks to his left) Oh, Zorak, it is you! I can see! I can see! This is the happiest day of my life!
Z: (walks up to Space Ghost as he speaks) (belches, and blows it on Space Ghost)
SG: You probably think that's cool.
(In control room, Rags is chewing on a rug and growling)
SG: (invisos in) Miss Romijn?
RR: Where am I? What's going on right now?
SG: This is Space Ghost here. Over.
RR: Hello, Space Ghost.
SG: Sorry for the difficulty, Rebecca. Somebody seems to have slobbered on all the settings. Over.
R: (Bark! Bark!)
RR: Who was that, what was that weird noise?
SG: Nothing. Hang tight for a sec. Over and out. (presses a console button, sends Rebecca to the studio monitor)
RR: Oh, good, thank you.
R: (continues to growl and thrash the rug back and forth)
SG: You're worse than Molton! (bounds back to his desk) Please welcome my next guest, super-model Rebecca Romijn.
RR: Thank you, it's really exciting to be here, thanks.
SG: Yes, yes, enough about me, let's talk about you. Now, you do runway modeling occasionally, right?
RR: That's right.
SG: Okay, when you're walking down the runway...
RR: Yeah...
SG: Do ya ever get the urge to just run and take off like an XG series pulse-modulated Donovan craft?
RR: Well, you know, sometimes when I'm walking down the runway, all I'm wearing are, are underpants.
SG: Uh, ahh.... (falls over at his desk, his feet stick up in the air)
RR: Oh no... are you okay?
SG: (gets up) Were you just hitting on me?
RR: You're kind of intimidating me, Space Ghost, that strong jaw, and those, those, those, those, those intense eyes.
SG: Yeah. And how about my generous biceps?
RR: (laughs) Well, they're, they're intimidating too.
SG: You mean it? You're not just blowing smoke up my cape.
RR: I, I do, I love you, Space -
(Credits roll prematurely again)
SG: Rebecca? NO! (invisos to control room)
R: (Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!)
SG: Well that's it, pal, your directing days are over. I'm sending you back to the minors. Zorak, bring the car around)
(Space Ghost piloting the Phantom Cruiser, with Rags sitting next to him. He listens to a tape while he drives; Rags starts barking, he turns up the tape volume louder and louder until it distorts)
(Moltar is still standing in baseball field; Phantom Cruiser lands next to him)
SG: Moltar! Get in the car!
(Space Ghost and Moltar take off, leaving Rags on the field)
M: Seven errors! Gah... Seven!
SG: Forget it, Moltar. It's Chinatown.
(Phantom Cruiser zooms out of sight)
(Organ music)
V: Moltar! (more Japanese cursing)

Tyra Banks
Rebecca Romijn
Dave Willis
Jay Edwards
Tom Roche
Sonny Sharrock
Man...or Astro-Man?
Sonny Sharrock
Lance Carter
Eddie Horst
Alfrieda Gerald
Man...or Astro-Man?
George Lowe
C. Martin Croker
Oliver Nichols
Chung-Yi Hong
Allen W. Song
Big Deal Cartoons
C. Martin Croker
Ron Sutton
Rob Mason
Brian Adler
Peter Fredlund
Russ Thomas
Dennis Bassarab
Tony Newman
Craig Waller
John Phillips
Susan Boyd
Senia Phillips
Lewin Phillips
Reid Jacobson
Kevin Powell
Dave Sillman
Pat Epstein
Bob Woodhead
Roy Clements
Vishal Roney
Anne Susan Brown
Nina Bishop
Gus Jordan
Maya McClure
Sophia Psomiadis
Michael Lazzo
Keith Hill
Aaron Vandemark
Nathan Cook
Khaki Jones
Steve Copses
Atlanta Braves Baseball Club
Jim Tessmer
Macon Braves Baseball Club
Southern Animal Talent Agency
Ben Danner
Mardy Beeson
Lisa D. Ellis
Definging Image
Chris Thorne
Underground Caricatures
Alex Toth
Chip Duffey
Isabel Gonzalez
Vishal Roney
Jim Fortier
Pete Smith
Barry Mills
Dave Willis
Matt Harrigan
Keith Crofford

© 1998 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.

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