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Original Air Date:November 26, 1998
Guest Stars:Moby, Emo Philips, Shirley Manson

Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed

(An old man tosses and turns in bed, moaning, as if having a nightmare)
(In a cave, Space Ghost faces Future Man)
Space Ghost:Sorry, Future Man, but I've used my reverse polarity ray to spoil your plans.
(Dramatic music, camera pans to Future Man)
Future Man:Not so fast, Space Clown! My time-space manipulator has assembled an army of invisible cavemen to block your reverse polarity ray.
(Dramatic music, camera pans to Space Ghost)
Space Ghost:That's a neat trick, Future Fool, but my frequency demodulator re-routed your cave creeps to the Victorian era, where they will be mocked for their ill manners and crude mode of dress.
(Dramatic music, camera pans to Future Man)
Future Man:That's unlucky. I suspect my future's not so bright after all.
(Dramatic music, camera pans to Space Ghost)
Space Ghost:Yup.
(Dramatic music, camera pans to Future Man)
Future Man:That's all well and good, Space Dud, but I've saved the best for last! Take this! (nozzle begins to emit a cloud of gas)
Space Ghost:(walking toward Future Man) (coughs) It seems to be (coughs) some kind of (coughs) gas.
Future Man:(laughs) It is the ancient vapor of Kintavé, Space Goon. You will now be driven to feed off the flesh of humanoids to survive. (laughs)
Space Ghost:(coughs) Seriously? (coughs)
(Original "Space Ghost" cartoon title screen and theme, titled: "Space Ghost in The Curse of Kintavé")
(In the studio)
Space Ghost:(invisos in) Greetings, I'm Space Ghost. My guests tonight include the symbol of man's epic struggle against a mysterious and complex universe, Moby! Plus, the very difficult to work into a show comic, Emo Philips!
Moltar:And, Richard Crenna, right?
Space Ghost:Uh, no, I, I put him my mouth and ate him.
Moltar:Ff! Really?
Space Ghost:Fff! Eh, I'm kiddin'. Richard had to go. He had an (belch voice) appointment. Eh, you know Richard.
Moltar:No, I don't know Richard.
Space Ghost:Oh, go grapple with your lever. Zorak, please play me to the desk, if you please.
(Zorak plays Space Ghost to the desk)
Space Ghost:(invisos to desk, makes long belch) Ooh, excuse me!
Moby:(on monitor) Hi.
Space Ghost:Not now.
Space Ghost:(scoots toward monitor) (to Moby) What do you want?
Moby:Well, my name's Moby, and I'm from New York City, where are you from?
Space Ghost:I'm from outer space, Moby. Home of the universe. (smile sparkles)
Moby:Are there any trouble spots in the universe, right now, that you can talk about?
Space Ghost:Yes. (beat)
Space Ghost:Sorry.
Moby:What did you think about, what was it, the Shoemaker-Levy comet that crashed into Jupiter?
Space Ghost:Shoemaker-Whatty?
Moby:The Shoemaker-Levy, it was, it was, uh, it was a three-stage comet that crashed into Jupiter.
Space Ghost:Wow.
Moby:Yeah, and they'd said that if a comet like that hit...
Space Ghost:Was that on a Tuesday? Because I think I had a guitar lesson that day.
Moby:Yeah, but you would think something like that, that's like being a, a policeman, and...
Space Ghost:Listen, I can't worry about every little snafu. I have celebrities to talk to! Like Moby!
Moby:Celebrities, huh? So celebrities are more important than the safety and well-being of...
Space Ghost:Nobody cares, Moby. (beat) Nobody cares. (beat) No one.
Moby:Are you sort of new to this interview process?
Space Ghost:I've been doing this for thousands of years, Moby.
Moby:Well, you can't tell.
Space Ghost:Oh! Well, thank you for the compliment.
Moby:It wasn't intended as one.
Space Ghost:Well, sometimes those are the best compliments of all.
Space Ghost:I'll tell ya, Moby, it sure hasn't felt like thousands of years. But I guess that's because on my planet, it's still only Tues-- Tuesday! My guitar lesson! (flies off)
(Sound of Space Ghost playing guitar badly in the background, the intro to the song "Roundabout" by the group "Yes")
Zorak:(sips coffee)
Moltar:(stares at his console, then leafs through a book)
(Sound of guitar being smashed)
Zorak:(stares wide-eyed)
Space Ghost:(bounds back to his desk)
Zorak:Hey! Biscuit! Biscuit!
Space Ghost:Not now!
Zorak:Stuff you!
Space Ghost:Stuff you too!
Space Ghost:Zorak's a villain, Moby.
Moby:And what about this lava character?
Space Ghost:Another villain.
Moby:So, if you're such a, if you're such a nice benign upstanding...
(A high-pitched tone builds, Space Ghost enters a trance, his eyes turn red)
Future Man:(in Space Ghost's mind) Feed of the flesh of humanoids to survive!
Moby:... character, how come you surround yourself with so many miscreants?
Space Ghost:(sees everything red, hears Future Man's laughter) (stares at Moby's head) This guy's got a nice boney head.
Zorak:Eh... I reckon.
Space Ghost:I reckon that bucket's got some treats inside.
Moby:Are you a vegetarian?
Space Ghost:Not really. (flies straight up)
(Moby looks around for Space Ghost, who then materializes behind him in the monitor, and starts chewing on his back. Moltar and Zorak stare in shock, as Space ghost munches on Moby's head)
Space Ghost:(bounds back to his desk, monitor is now empty) (smacks his lips) Moltar, send out another tender celebrity for me to interview.
Moltar:You ate Moby!
Space Ghost:(belches) No I didn't!
Moltar:Y-, you sure about that?
Space Ghost:Am I sure? Moltar, I think I'd know if I ate a guest, okay? Now, send him out here, it'll be alright.
Moltar:(beat) Huh... (throws lever, title card appears on monitor:
Space Ghost Coast to Coast
CUT 15
27 MAY 98
(followed by shot of somebody petting a cat, with "Coming in August" title card)
(Emo Philips appears on monitor)
Moltar:Um... watch yourself out there. Space Ghost is acting kinda funny. (monitor momentarily shows Moltar watching the monitor)
Emo Philips:(makes strange gestures and faces)
Moltar:You know what? Forget what I just said. Go out there and have fun with it. (throws lever, sending Emo to the studio monitor) Dead man walkin'. (laughs)
Emo Philips:Hello, universe?
Space Ghost:Welcome to my show, Emo. How do you like deep space?
Emo Philips:I like outer space. In outer space, no one can hear the audience scream.
Space Ghost:Emo, you're uncommonly funny. Where do you get your humorous ideas?
Emo Philips:I've found... You could often find humor, just by turning something upside down. Like a small child.
Space Ghost:Once again, very witty, Emo. My compliments to you.
Emo Philips:Zorak? Zorak, you're an intelligent being, do you like riddles?
Zorak:Stuff you!
Emo Philips:I'd rather do a riddle.
Space Ghost:(belches several times)
Emo Philips:What's green, obnoxious, plays the keyboard...
Zorak:Zorak do!
Emo Philips:Don't give it away.
Space Ghost:(belch-speaks something)
Emo Philips:And... (flails his arms) Oh, forget it.
Space Ghost:(eyes turn red again) Eatmo, have you ever considered slathering yourself in hot honey mustard sauce?
Emo Philips:It hasn't come up yet...
Space Ghost:(starts growling)
Emo Philips:... as opposed to the breakfast you guys provided for me.
Space Ghost:I noticed you didn't finish your stuffing. I'm very disappointed.
Emo Philips:Oh...
Space Ghost:Why don't you finish it now? I left the bowl down by your, uh... (Emo looks down) That's a boy... And the butter, don't for-. There you go. (flies straight up, appears on monitor in front of Emo) Greetings, citizen! (Future Man's laughter in his mind)
Moltar:What the...
Space Ghost:(bites on Emo's chest, Emo swoons)
Zorak:(belches) ... baby!
Space Ghost:(bounds back to his desk, monitor is again empty)
Zorak:What's that... schmeg on your face?
Space Ghost:(belches, Emo's voice says "Where is the restroom")
Zorak:(stares wide-eyed) Huh?
Space Ghost:Any more guests?
Moltar:Well, I got somebody on stand-by, but... (throws lever, Shirley Manson appears in corner of monitor) ... I don't know...
Space Ghost:Send 'em out! It'll be alright.
Moltar:Awright... (throws lever again, sends Shirley to studio monitor)
Space Ghost:(eyes are red again, groans)
Shirley Manson:(smiles)
Space Ghost:(groans more, then eyes return to normal) Uh, do you have anyone thicker?
Moltar:Haven't you had enough, Space Ghost? (throws lever, Shirley fades from monitor)
Space Ghost:More guests! More guests now!
Moltar:Space Ghost...
Space Ghost:Bring me more guests!
Moltar:Space Ghost...
Space Ghost:More guests!
Moltar:You're out of control!
Space Ghost:More guests!
Moltar:You have a problem.
Space Ghost:I'll tell you the problem. The problem is the crummy service in this place! (burps) I'm never eating here again! Come on, Zorak, we're leaving!
Moltar:You need help.
Zorak:Butt out, Moltar.
Space Ghost:Yeah, butt out, Moltar!
Space Ghost:I can stop anytime I want.
Moltar:Yeah? How about now?
Space Ghost:Fine!! (sits quietly at his desk, taps his cards several times) (moans to himself) (taps cards faster and faster until they catch fire) Mmmm... (turns and looks at Zorak, as his eyes turn red again; more laughter from Future Man in his mind)
Zorak:Stop lookin' at me.
Space Ghost:(still staring at Zorak) I'll need some tools...
Zorak:I don't think I'd taste very good.
Space Ghost:... to crack the shell.
Zorak:(wide eyed) Crack the shell?
Space Ghost:Pinch the tail...
Zorak:Ah, you don't wanna do that.
Space Ghost:Suck.. the head...
Zorak:I, I don't bathe, I carry many diseases, I, uh...
Space Ghost:(stands) Pinch the tail, suck the head, use the vest for a napkin, throw away the eyes. (flies over to Zorak's pod)
(Moltar watches Space Ghost descend into Zorak's pod, feet in air)
Zorak:No! Naaa!!! Na...
Moltar:Aw, shoot.
Space Ghost:(emerging from Zorak's pod) Moltar... You're looking rather (belches) plump today.
Moltar:(turns from monitor, clears throat) I'm outta here. (starts walking away)
Space Ghost:(invisos to control room, Shirley looks on from monitor) (burps) Hold it, boy.
Moltar:You don't want me. I'll burn the roof of your mouth.
Space Ghost:Not if I blow on you.
Moltar:Aren't you full?
Space Ghost:I'll make room.
Moltar:No, no, no!!
Space Ghost:(leaps on Moltar, they struggle off camera as Shirley watches. He reappears holding Moltar) (to Shirley) You want some?
Shirley Manson:No, I'm not into that kind of thing.
Space Ghost:Suit yourself. (disappears off screen again with Moltar, with Future Man's laughter in his head)
(Suddenly, Kirk the Storyteller sits up in his bed, wearing a nightcap)
Kirk the Storyteller:Whoa! I just had the most horrible dream, in space!
(Credits roll)
Zorak:(far away) Please bring me some juice.

Emo Philips
Shirley Manson
James Kirkconnell
as Kirk the Storyteller
Pete Smith
Jon Schnepp
Tom Roche
Sonny Sharrock
Man...or Astro-Man?
Sonny Sharrock
Lance Carter
Eddie Horst
Alfrieda Gerald
Man...or Astro-Man?
George Lowe
C. Martin Croker
Dave Willis
Big Deal Cartoons
C. Martin Croker
Dave Sillman
Butch Seibert
Bob Woodhead
Wil Madison
Reid Jacobson
Narinda Channa
Hughes Cormier
Kim Truax
Roy Clements
Anne Susan Brown
Nina Bishop
Maya McClure
Michael Lazzo
Keith Hill
Aaron Vandemark
Meagan Clark
Nathan Cook
Peter Jackson
Lori Baldwin
Southside Johnny
Mark Davis
Almo Sounds
Alex Toth
Chip Duffey
Vishal Roney
Greg Harrison
Jim Fortier
Pete Smith
Dave Willis
Matt Harrigan
Keith Crofford

© 1998 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.

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