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Title: | Waiting for Edward |
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Original Air Date: | December 24, 1998 |
Guest Star: | Denis Leary |
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Waiting (for a really really long time)
(Zorak is riding on Space Ghost's shoulders)
Zorak: Yah! Yah!
Space Ghost: Hang on, Zorak, hang -
Waiting (again briefly)
(In control room, Moltar throws the lever, a black and white photo of a bald man wearing a tie appears on monitor, followed by a test pattern with a "7", followed by Denis Leary)
Denis Leary: Moltar, how are ya?
Moltar: This is how I am, Denis. (pulls lever) I'm destroying the planet. (klaxon siren in background)
Denis Leary: Get outta here.
Moltar: Yeah. And I'm havin' a sale, too.
Voice: Seven minutes, twenty seven seconds until total devastation.
Moltar: Whattya think about that?
Denis Leary: Now you, you overstep your, your boundaries when it comes to power.
Moltar: How about a free kick in the throat?
Denis Leary: See what I'm saying?
Moltar: (throws lever, sends Denis to the studio monitor) Bah! (laughs)
Space Ghost: (invisos in to control room) Moltar, are you trying to destroy the - Oooh! Are you having another Total Devastation sale? (looks at sign:)
Total Devastation SALE!! Take an additional 30% off all men's outerwear! |
Moltar: Yup! Everything must go.
Space Ghost: I don't have any money! (punches Moltar in the face)
(Moltar and Space Ghost proceed to punch each other rock'em sock'em style)
(In the studio; Denis is already on the monitor)
Zorak: Wow! Denis Leary! I've seen all your movies!
Denis Leary: Thank you, thank you.
Zorak: I didn't think they were very good. (Beat) What'd you think?
(In the control room; Space Ghost is lying on the floor, Moltar is standing on his back)
Space Ghost: Ooh! Get off my back!
Moltar: (laughs, hops onto his head) Ooh, sorry! (laughs)
Space Ghost: My head! This is going in your file! (invisos out, Moltar drops to the floor)
(In the studio)
Space Ghost: (invisos in) Hello! I'm Space Ghost!
Zorak: And I'm Zorak.
Space Ghost: Nobody cares who you are, Zorak.
Zorak: (BEAT) Man, you're wrong about that.
Space Ghost: (Beat) Okay, okay, everybody pipe down. Guest is here, it's interview time. (invisos to desk while Zorak plays cheesy funky organ music; Space Ghost plays with his inviso control, fading in and out for about fifteen seconds, until music stops)
Space Ghost: I like that that happened. (Beat) I'm gonna do that again. (Music starts again, Space Ghost resumes invisoing in and out) (moans) Denis...
Denis Leary: Hi, how are ya?
Space Ghost: (still invisoing in and out) Good, good, and you?
Denis Leary: Oh, okay, good.
Space Ghost: Mmmm. (finally finishes invisoing in) (sighs) Ah, there we are. Denis, are you a leprechaun?
Denis Leary: No, there's no such thing as leprechauns. (sips water)
Space Ghost: Oh, yeah, yeah, I was gonna say.
Denis Leary: Mm hm.
Space Ghost: (looks at his card) Okay then... well, that's all I got. We done here?
Zorak: (NODS)
Denis Leary: Uh, I have one question for you, have you ever thought of taking a vacation and - (Space Ghost is walking towards Zorak's pod) You're not listenin'.
Space Ghost: (to Zorak) Say, what's this thing?
Zorak: Don't touch it, it's mine!
Space Ghost: When did you get this?
Zorak: I've had it.
Space Ghost: (presses a keyboard key, a riff plays) You didn't tell me this was a synthesizer! (plays a few other keys) It has samples! Hey, get out of there, scoot over!
Zorak: Hey, quit, quit shovin'!
Space Ghost: Mine! My turn!
Zorak: Jerk!
Space Ghost: (sitting in pod; he sings his lines while he plays a melody on the keyboard) 'Hey Denis, what brings you to these parts?'
Denis Leary: Uhhhh... you asked me to appear on the show, so I -
Space Ghost: I did? Oh yeah! (sings and plays) 'I did, didn't I?'
Denis Leary: I'm actually doing this as a sort of a, uh, a payback for my kids, 'cause they're big fans of your show. I don't really watch the show, and I'm not really a big fan, I don't think you're that funny, quite frankly.
Space Ghost: (sings and plays) 'Not that funny, eh?'
Denis Leary: Well, my kids watch the show, so I'm on the show 'cause it'll please my kids.
Space Ghost: (sings and plays) 'So the feelings of your stupid kids are more important than mine.'
Denis Leary: Yeah.
Space Ghost: (stops playing, walks over to studio monitor) Who do you think you are?
Denis Leary: I think the universe knows who I am, Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: Then who do you think the universe knows I am, Denis?
Denis Leary: Space Ghost, and I'm Denis Leary, of course. Master of the universe.
Space Ghost: (sitting at desk) (laughs) Master?! I know one or two guys who might disagree with you. (whispers) Master!
Denis Leary: Like who?
Space Ghost: Yoda.
Denis Leary: Okay, who else, on the list?
Space Ghost: (Beat) Star wars.
Denis Leary: Okay, so let's say that I'm, uh... master of the -
Space Ghost: You're sure you're not a leprechaun?
Denis Leary: (Beat) I'm too tall to be a leprechaun.
Space Ghost: Okay, okay. 'Cause I was gonna say, you're the worst leprechaun that we've ever had on the show.
Denis Leary: Look, look, here's the bottom line...
Space Ghost: Ho- hold on. (flies off)
Denis Leary: (to Zorak) You have Madonna's new album?
Zorak: (hisses)
Denis Leary: Somebody's buyin' it.
(In the control room, Lokar is on Moltar's monitor)
Lokar: Have you any dangerously sequinned hot pants?
Moltar: Um... no.
Lokar: Perchance a scented thong?
Moltar: I have some underwear that's scented, but... I don't think it's what you're lookin' for.
Lokar: Oh... gorgeous!
(In the studio, Space Ghost bounds back to his chair, sporting a crude drawn-on mustache)
Space Ghost: (whispers) Hey, Denis! (normal Voice) Notice anything... different?
Denis Leary: Nope.
Space Ghost: About my face?
Denis Leary: We don't really care.
Space Ghost: Hey, Zorak.
Zorak: (sporting a toucan beak)
Space Ghost: (Beat) (sighs) Anybody else have any questions for Denis? (Beat) Anyone? Anyone? (mustache is gone) Anyone?
Moltar: (marches out, slams cards down on Space Ghost's desk) Try this one.
Space Ghost: (reading card) "Nice jacket Fonzie." (to Moltar) And you want me to say this?
Moltar: (nods)
Space Ghost: Out loud. To Denis.
Moltar: Go on.
Space Ghost: I don't think so.
Moltar: (groans in disgust) Sit on it! (walks off stage)
Denis Leary: Hey, lay off.
Space Ghost: That's my arch-enemy, Denis.
Denis Leary: Mm hm.
Space Ghost: Who are your arch-enemies? And don't say me.
Denis Leary: You.
Space Ghost: (does spit take on camera lens; audience laughs) Me?! (spits again, audience laughs again) Me?!?! (laughs) One more... (spits again, this time it's blood; audience gasps) Uh oh. (gulps)
Denis Leary: Aside from you, uh... Dr. Katz, another animated figure.
Space Ghost: Why don't you just launch him into the deep recesses of space?
Denis Leary: If I could.
Space Ghost: Oh, that's right, you're a smoker.
Denis Leary: Who's the last person you, you've launched into the deep recesses of... of space?
Space Ghost: My friend Edward.
Denis Leary: Why couldn't you do that with, say, Celine Dion?
Space Ghost: Oh no, I don't think Edward would approve of that.
Denis Leary: Not extremely powerful, I must say. (sips water)
Space Ghost: (Beat) I beat up Charlton Heston once.
Denis Leary: When?
Space Ghost: Over the holidays.
Denis Leary: In your one-dimensional world, you beat up Charlton Heston.
Space Ghost: Yeah, I hit him over the head with some books.
Denis Leary: So, you're actually bragging about beating up a man who must be in his late eighties, is that correct?
Space Ghost: Uh, late eighties, early nineties.
(In the control room, Brak is on Moltar's monitor)
Brak: You have any farmer stuff?
Moltar: No.
Brak: You have any astronaut stuff?
Moltar: Uh...
Brak: You have any melba toast? 'Cause that's what I want.
Moltar: (trying to break in) I got - (sighs)
Brak: I'd also like an army of rabbits, some tar, a glass hat, a book about lightning, a magical fortress made of rainbows...
Moltar: (trying to interrupt) Brak... Brak... Brak!!!
Brak: Yes?
Moltar: How're you gonna pay for all this?
Brak: With rocks.
Moltar: (shouts) I hope you die before your wedding!
Brak: What? I'm not gettin' mar- (Moltar throws lever, sending him away)
(In the studio)
Space Ghost: I guess my greatest fear would be to find myself hopelessly attracted to one of my coworkers.
(Camera zooms back to show Zorak sitting on Space Ghost's lap)
Space Ghost: What are you doing?
Zorak: That'll be ten dollars.
Space Ghost: Get off!
Zorak: (bounds away) You can owe me.
Space Ghost: Denis, what's your greatest fear?
Denis Leary: Probably, having to have my own... show on prime cable.
Space Ghost: Hey, do you wanna move in with me?
Denis Leary: No thank you.
Space Ghost: Well, then how would you like to help out around the set?
Denis Leary: Naw, that's okay.
Space Ghost: You sure?
Denis Leary: Yep!
Space Ghost: Maybe you could overcome your fears.
Denis Leary: I really have a packed schedule.
Space Ghost: We've got some exclusive interviews coming up.
Denis Leary: Yeah, I've got - with who?
Space Ghost: (Beat) My friend Edward.
Denis Leary: Yeah? And who else?
Space Ghost: Um...
Zorak: Denis Leary.
Space Ghost: That's right, Denis Leary, thank you Zorak.
Denis Leary: Mm hm.
Zorak: You can owe me.
Space Ghost: Lots of big names.
Denis Leary: Yup.
Space Ghost: Big stuff going on here. (taps cards)
Zorak: Hey! Weren't we supposed to blow -
(BLAM!!!!!)
(Music starts, then slows down and stops)
Later... at camp
(Four kids are sitting on the ground in a field, Space Ghost stands in their midst)
Space Ghost: And so, kids, that's the story of how I saved Christmas. (angrily) Now get back to work, ya fat humps!!
WAITING FOR EDWARD 100 SERIES |
GUEST STAR Denis Leary |
SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY The Cartoon Gang |
WRITTEN BY Matt Harrigan Matthew Maiellaro Pete Smith Dave Willis |
EDITORS Mark Davis Tom Roche |
MUSIC Sonny Sharrock Man...or Astro-Man? The Jim Fortier Project |
MUSICIANS Sonny Sharrock Lance Carter Eddie Horst Alfrieda Gerald Man...or Astro-Man? Jim Fortier |
VOICES George Lowe C. Martin Croker Andy Merrill Cheryl Barbour |
DESIGN COMPANY Big Deal Cartoons |
ANIMATION DIRECTOR C. Martin Croker |
MUSTACHE BY Matt's of Midtown |
ON-LINE CONFORM Bob Woodhead |
EDIT ASSIST Reid Jacobson |
TALENT COORDINATOR Nina Bishop |
RE-RECORDING MIXER Bobby Tate |
AUDIO SWEETENING Roy Clements |
AUDIO CONFORM Mark Coddington |
PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Maya McClure Natali Tesche-Ricciardi Anne Susan Brown Michael Lazzo |
INTERN Meagan Clark |
SPACE GHOST'S MALE SECRETARY Nathan Cook |
SPECIAL THANKS Clay Cox Negashi Harvey Elijah Kelley Dominique Robertson Kaili Rubin Christmas |
ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN Alex Toth |
WEBSITE PRODUCER Chip Duffey |
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER Vishal Roney |
PRODUCER Matthew Maiellaro |
PRODUCER Pete Smith |
PRODUCER Dave Willis |
SUPERVISING PRODUCER Jim Fortier |
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Matt Harrigan |
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Keith Crofford |
© 1998 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
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