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Title: | Waiting for Edward |
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Original Air Date: | December 24, 1998 |
Guest Star: | Denis Leary |
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Waiting (for a really really long time) | ||
(Zorak is riding on Space Ghost's shoulders) | ||
Zorak: | Yah! Yah! | |
Space Ghost: | Hang on, Zorak, hang - | |
Waiting (again briefly) | ||
(In control room, Moltar throws the lever, a black and white photo of a bald man wearing a tie appears on monitor, followed by a test pattern with a "7", followed by Denis Leary) | ||
Denis Leary: | Moltar, how are ya? | |
Moltar: | This is how I am, Denis. (pulls lever) I'm destroying the planet. (klaxon siren in background) | |
Denis Leary: | Get outta here. | |
Moltar: | Yeah. And I'm havin' a sale, too. | |
Voice: | Seven minutes, twenty seven seconds until total devastation. | |
Moltar: | Whattya think about that? | |
Denis Leary: | Now you, you overstep your, your boundaries when it comes to power. | |
Moltar: | How about a free kick in the throat? | |
Denis Leary: | See what I'm saying? | |
Moltar: | (throws lever, sends Denis to the studio monitor) Bah! (laughs) | |
Space Ghost: | (invisos in to control room) Moltar, are you trying to destroy the - Oooh! Are you having another Total Devastation sale? (looks at sign:) | |
| ||
Moltar: | Yup! Everything must go. | |
Space Ghost: | I don't have any money! (punches Moltar in the face) | |
(Moltar and Space Ghost proceed to punch each other rock'em sock'em style) | ||
(In the studio; Denis is already on the monitor) | ||
Zorak: | Wow! Denis Leary! I've seen all your movies! | |
Denis Leary: | Thank you, thank you. | |
Zorak: | I didn't think they were very good. (Beat) What'd you think? | |
(In the control room; Space Ghost is lying on the floor, Moltar is standing on his back) | ||
Space Ghost: | Ooh! Get off my back! | |
Moltar: | (laughs, hops onto his head) Ooh, sorry! (laughs) | |
Space Ghost: | My head! This is going in your file! (invisos out, Moltar drops to the floor) | |
(In the studio) | ||
Space Ghost: | (invisos in) Hello! I'm Space Ghost! | |
Zorak: | And I'm Zorak. | |
Space Ghost: | Nobody cares who you are, Zorak. | |
Zorak: | (BEAT) Man, you're wrong about that. | |
Space Ghost: | (Beat) Okay, okay, everybody pipe down. Guest is here, it's interview time. (invisos to desk while Zorak plays cheesy funky organ music; Space Ghost plays with his inviso control, fading in and out for about fifteen seconds, until music stops) | |
Space Ghost: | I like that that happened. (Beat) I'm gonna do that again. (Music starts again, Space Ghost resumes invisoing in and out) (moans) Denis... | |
Denis Leary: | Hi, how are ya? | |
Space Ghost: | (still invisoing in and out) Good, good, and you? | |
Denis Leary: | Oh, okay, good. | |
Space Ghost: | Mmmm. (finally finishes invisoing in) (sighs) Ah, there we are. Denis, are you a leprechaun? | |
Denis Leary: | No, there's no such thing as leprechauns. (sips water) | |
Space Ghost: | Oh, yeah, yeah, I was gonna say. | |
Denis Leary: | Mm hm. | |
Space Ghost: | (looks at his card) Okay then... well, that's all I got. We done here? | |
Zorak: | (NODS) | |
Denis Leary: | Uh, I have one question for you, have you ever thought of taking a vacation and - (Space Ghost is walking towards Zorak's pod) You're not listenin'. | |
Space Ghost: | (to Zorak) Say, what's this thing? | |
Zorak: | Don't touch it, it's mine! | |
Space Ghost: | When did you get this? | |
Zorak: | I've had it. | |
Space Ghost: | (presses a keyboard key, a riff plays) You didn't tell me this was a synthesizer! (plays a few other keys) It has samples! Hey, get out of there, scoot over! | |
Zorak: | Hey, quit, quit shovin'! | |
Space Ghost: | Mine! My turn! | |
Zorak: | Jerk! | |
Space Ghost: | (sitting in pod; he sings his lines while he plays a melody on the keyboard) 'Hey Denis, what brings you to these parts?' | |
Denis Leary: | Uhhhh... you asked me to appear on the show, so I - | |
Space Ghost: | I did? Oh yeah! (sings and plays) 'I did, didn't I?' | |
Denis Leary: | I'm actually doing this as a sort of a, uh, a payback for my kids, 'cause they're big fans of your show. I don't really watch the show, and I'm not really a big fan, I don't think you're that funny, quite frankly. | |
Space Ghost: | (sings and plays) 'Not that funny, eh?' | |
Denis Leary: | Well, my kids watch the show, so I'm on the show 'cause it'll please my kids. | |
Space Ghost: | (sings and plays) 'So the feelings of your stupid kids are more important than mine.' | |
Denis Leary: | Yeah. | |
Space Ghost: | (stops playing, walks over to studio monitor) Who do you think you are? | |
Denis Leary: | I think the universe knows who I am, Space Ghost. | |
Space Ghost: | Then who do you think the universe knows I am, Denis? | |
Denis Leary: | Space Ghost, and I'm Denis Leary, of course. Master of the universe. | |
Space Ghost: | (sitting at desk) (laughs) Master?! I know one or two guys who might disagree with you. (whispers) Master! | |
Denis Leary: | Like who? | |
Space Ghost: | Yoda. | |
Denis Leary: | Okay, who else, on the list? | |
Space Ghost: | (Beat) Star wars. | |
Denis Leary: | Okay, so let's say that I'm, uh... master of the - | |
Space Ghost: | You're sure you're not a leprechaun? | |
Denis Leary: | (Beat) I'm too tall to be a leprechaun. | |
Space Ghost: | Okay, okay. 'Cause I was gonna say, you're the worst leprechaun that we've ever had on the show. | |
Denis Leary: | Look, look, here's the bottom line... | |
Space Ghost: | Ho- hold on. (flies off) | |
Denis Leary: | (to Zorak) You have Madonna's new album? | |
Zorak: | (hisses) | |
Denis Leary: | Somebody's buyin' it. | |
(In the control room, Lokar is on Moltar's monitor) | ||
Lokar: | Have you any dangerously sequinned hot pants? | |
Moltar: | Um... no. | |
Lokar: | Perchance a scented thong? | |
Moltar: | I have some underwear that's scented, but... I don't think it's what you're lookin' for. | |
Lokar: | Oh... gorgeous! | |
(In the studio, Space Ghost bounds back to his chair, sporting a crude drawn-on mustache) | ||
Space Ghost: | (whispers) Hey, Denis! (normal Voice) Notice anything... different? | |
Denis Leary: | Nope. | |
Space Ghost: | About my face? | |
Denis Leary: | We don't really care. | |
Space Ghost: | Hey, Zorak. | |
Zorak: | (sporting a toucan beak) | |
Space Ghost: | (Beat) (sighs) Anybody else have any questions for Denis? (Beat) Anyone? Anyone? (mustache is gone) Anyone? | |
Moltar: | (marches out, slams cards down on Space Ghost's desk) Try this one. | |
Space Ghost: | (reading card) "Nice jacket Fonzie." (to Moltar) And you want me to say this? | |
Moltar: | (nods) | |
Space Ghost: | Out loud. To Denis. | |
Moltar: | Go on. | |
Space Ghost: | I don't think so. | |
Moltar: | (groans in disgust) Sit on it! (walks off stage) | |
Denis Leary: | Hey, lay off. | |
Space Ghost: | That's my arch-enemy, Denis. | |
Denis Leary: | Mm hm. | |
Space Ghost: | Who are your arch-enemies? And don't say me. | |
Denis Leary: | You. | |
Space Ghost: | (does spit take on camera lens; audience laughs) Me?! (spits again, audience laughs again) Me?!?! (laughs) One more... (spits again, this time it's blood; audience gasps) Uh oh. (gulps) | |
Denis Leary: | Aside from you, uh... Dr. Katz, another animated figure. | |
Space Ghost: | Why don't you just launch him into the deep recesses of space? | |
Denis Leary: | If I could. | |
Space Ghost: | Oh, that's right, you're a smoker. | |
Denis Leary: | Who's the last person you, you've launched into the deep recesses of... of space? | |
Space Ghost: | My friend Edward. | |
Denis Leary: | Why couldn't you do that with, say, Celine Dion? | |
Space Ghost: | Oh no, I don't think Edward would approve of that. | |
Denis Leary: | Not extremely powerful, I must say. (sips water) | |
Space Ghost: | (Beat) I beat up Charlton Heston once. | |
Denis Leary: | When? | |
Space Ghost: | Over the holidays. | |
Denis Leary: | In your one-dimensional world, you beat up Charlton Heston. | |
Space Ghost: | Yeah, I hit him over the head with some books. | |
Denis Leary: | So, you're actually bragging about beating up a man who must be in his late eighties, is that correct? | |
Space Ghost: | Uh, late eighties, early nineties. | |
(In the control room, Brak is on Moltar's monitor) | ||
Brak: | You have any farmer stuff? | |
Moltar: | No. | |
Brak: | You have any astronaut stuff? | |
Moltar: | Uh... | |
Brak: | You have any melba toast? 'Cause that's what I want. | |
Moltar: | (trying to break in) I got - (sighs) | |
Brak: | I'd also like an army of rabbits, some tar, a glass hat, a book about lightning, a magical fortress made of rainbows... | |
Moltar: | (trying to interrupt) Brak... Brak... Brak!!! | |
Brak: | Yes? | |
Moltar: | How're you gonna pay for all this? | |
Brak: | With rocks. | |
Moltar: | (shouts) I hope you die before your wedding! | |
Brak: | What? I'm not gettin' mar- (Moltar throws lever, sending him away) | |
(In the studio) | ||
Space Ghost: | I guess my greatest fear would be to find myself hopelessly attracted to one of my coworkers. | |
(Camera zooms back to show Zorak sitting on Space Ghost's lap) | ||
Space Ghost: | What are you doing? | |
Zorak: | That'll be ten dollars. | |
Space Ghost: | Get off! | |
Zorak: | (bounds away) You can owe me. | |
Space Ghost: | Denis, what's your greatest fear? | |
Denis Leary: | Probably, having to have my own... show on prime cable. | |
Space Ghost: | Hey, do you wanna move in with me? | |
Denis Leary: | No thank you. | |
Space Ghost: | Well, then how would you like to help out around the set? | |
Denis Leary: | Naw, that's okay. | |
Space Ghost: | You sure? | |
Denis Leary: | Yep! | |
Space Ghost: | Maybe you could overcome your fears. | |
Denis Leary: | I really have a packed schedule. | |
Space Ghost: | We've got some exclusive interviews coming up. | |
Denis Leary: | Yeah, I've got - with who? | |
Space Ghost: | (Beat) My friend Edward. | |
Denis Leary: | Yeah? And who else? | |
Space Ghost: | Um... | |
Zorak: | Denis Leary. | |
Space Ghost: | That's right, Denis Leary, thank you Zorak. | |
Denis Leary: | Mm hm. | |
Zorak: | You can owe me. | |
Space Ghost: | Lots of big names. | |
Denis Leary: | Yup. | |
Space Ghost: | Big stuff going on here. (taps cards) | |
Zorak: | Hey! Weren't we supposed to blow - | |
(BLAM!!!!!) | ||
(Music starts, then slows down and stops) | ||
Later... at camp | ||
(Four kids are sitting on the ground in a field, Space Ghost stands in their midst) | ||
Space Ghost: | And so, kids, that's the story of how I saved Christmas. (angrily) Now get back to work, ya fat humps!! |
WAITING FOR EDWARD 100 SERIES |
GUEST STAR Denis Leary |
SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY The Cartoon Gang |
WRITTEN BY Matt Harrigan Matthew Maiellaro Pete Smith Dave Willis |
EDITORS Mark Davis Tom Roche |
MUSIC Sonny Sharrock Man...or Astro-Man? The Jim Fortier Project |
MUSICIANS Sonny Sharrock Lance Carter Eddie Horst Alfrieda Gerald Man...or Astro-Man? Jim Fortier |
VOICES George Lowe C. Martin Croker Andy Merrill Cheryl Barbour |
DESIGN COMPANY Big Deal Cartoons |
ANIMATION DIRECTOR C. Martin Croker |
MUSTACHE BY Matt's of Midtown |
ON-LINE CONFORM Bob Woodhead |
EDIT ASSIST Reid Jacobson |
TALENT COORDINATOR Nina Bishop |
RE-RECORDING MIXER Bobby Tate |
AUDIO SWEETENING Roy Clements |
AUDIO CONFORM Mark Coddington |
PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Maya McClure Natali Tesche-Ricciardi Anne Susan Brown Michael Lazzo |
INTERN Meagan Clark |
SPACE GHOST'S MALE SECRETARY Nathan Cook |
SPECIAL THANKS Clay Cox Negashi Harvey Elijah Kelley Dominique Robertson Kaili Rubin Christmas |
ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN Alex Toth |
WEBSITE PRODUCER Chip Duffey |
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER Vishal Roney |
PRODUCER Matthew Maiellaro |
PRODUCER Pete Smith |
PRODUCER Dave Willis |
SUPERVISING PRODUCER Jim Fortier |
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Matt Harrigan |
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Keith Crofford |
© 1998 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
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