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Title: | Girl Hair |
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Original Air Date: | October 21, 1999 |
Guest Star: | Hanson |
Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed
(An Italian-speaking Space Ghost invisos onto set. Speaks Italian. The real Space Ghost walks up to him) | |
Space Ghost: | Okay, off you go. |
(Italian-speaking invisos out. The real looks at Zorak, who is grinning with a mouth full of teeth.) | |
Space Ghost: | When'd you get teeth? |
Zorak: | (through teeth) Ya like 'em? |
Space Ghost: | No, I don't like 'em. |
(Space Ghost walks over to Zorak and punches him in the mouth) | |
Zorak: | Agh! Agh Agh! |
Space Ghost: | I like that. |
Zorak: | Agh Agh! |
Space Ghost: | They look better on the floor. |
(Zorak spits teeth at Space Ghost) | |
Space Ghost: | Hey Zorak! You made a mess on the floor there, buddy. |
(As Space Ghost walks back to set, Zorak follows him holding a folding chair) | |
Zorak: | Hey! (off-camera Boom is heard) That's for knockin' my teeth out! |
(Space Ghost walks back over to Zorak; off-camera punch followed by Zorak chasing Space Ghost with the chair again. As a high-speed chase ensues back and forth, the guest monitor lowers) | |
Taylor Hanson: | Where's the love in this room? |
Space Ghost: | Hanson! Wooo! |
Taylor Hanson: | There's no bondage. |
Isaac Hanson: | Where's the love, man? |
Space Ghost: | Ha, now you boys have teeth, don't ya? |
Taylor Hanson: | What? |
Space Ghost: | Look at that! Three boys with teeth! And hair. Beautiful girl hair. |
Taylor Hanson: | What are you trying to say? |
Space Ghost: | The little one looks like Claudia Schiffer. |
(Zachary Hanson flips hair around) | |
Taylor Handon: | Wow. |
Isaac Hanson: | Wow. |
Zachary Hanson: | Can I be your co-host? |
Space Ghost: | All Righty. |
(Zachary Hanson keeps flipping hair) | |
Space Ghost: | Let's comb it. |
Moltar: | That would rule! |
Zorak: | Yeah, you can comb it WITH MY FRICKIN' TEETH! |
(Space Ghost flies over for an off-camera attack on Zorak) | |
Space Ghost: | Take a little of this with ya! (incoherent struggling)...like a lobster! |
(A beeper sounds) | |
Zorak: | Oh, that's me. Um, I gotta take this. (he lowers himself beneath circular keyboard) |
Space Ghost: | Anyone have a comb? Who's got a comb? |
Moltar: | I think I got a rake. |
Space Ghost: | Ah. |
Moltar: | If that helps. |
Space Ghost: | No, we need a comb. |
Moltar: | It's really sharp. |
(Zorak is heard babbling off-camera) | |
Space Ghost: | Go buy a comb. |
(Moltar is reading a book) | |
Moltar: | Um, all right. I'll do it in five minutes. |
Space Ghost: | Moltar, just go buy a comb. |
Moltar: | I'll do it! In five minutes. |
Space Ghost: | Wait! I've got it! Construct a robot, name it "Orlando" and program it to go purchase a comb for Hanson. |
Moltar: | I'll get right on that. |
Space Ghost: | An unbreakable comb. |
(Zorak returns) | |
Zorak: | Uh, we got a Wet-Vac? |
Space Ghost: | Are you gold brickin'? |
Zorak: | What does it look like I'm doing? |
Isaac Hanson: | I like it when, when Zorak gets blown up. |
Space Ghost: | Is that what Hanson wants? Then let me make it about to happen. |
(Space Ghost walks over to Zorak. off-camera sounds of something being inflated are heard. The camera shows zorak puffed up like a balloon) | |
Space Ghost: | You look like a big blowfish! (laughs) |
Hanson: | (collective laugh) |
Space Ghost: | Ha ha! Maybe I should call you "Hootie"! Ha ha ha! |
Hanson: | (collective groan) |
Taylor Hanson: | Maybe. |
Space Ghost: | Okay! Now he dies! |
Taylor Hanson: | No, I want to be shot! Please! |
Space Ghost: | So, you like the lasers, do ya? |
Zachary Hanson: | Yes!!! (RAISES HANDS OVER HIS HEAD) |
Space Ghost: | All righty! |
Taylor Hanson: | Yeah, can you get us too? Get... just shoot us all three. |
Isaac Hanson: | No, no, no. I'm gonna...I'm gonna move. |
Space Ghost: | I'm gonna do the trick shot, Moltar. Check this out! |
(Moltar continues reading) | |
Space Ghost: | Hey, remember how cool it was the last time? When I did the trick shot? |
(Zorak deflates and flies away from keyboard) | |
Space Ghost: | All right, screw it! (to Hanson) Now don't go tellin' your dad on me! |
(Space Ghost blasts Zachary right in the stomach) | |
Zachary Hanson: | OH GOD, IT HURTS!!! |
Taylor Hanson: | That looks like fun. |
Space Ghost: | Now comes pain. |
(Blasts Zachary in stomach again) | |
Zachary Hanson: | Oh!! Yes!! Oh, higher!!! Please!!! |
Space Ghost: | Is this legal? |
(Zachary collapses onto floor) | |
Space Ghost: | Walk it off, Zach. Walk it off. |
Isaac Hanson: | Oooh!! |
Taylor Hanson: | Oh man. Maybe you should use the eleven. |
Space Ghost: | You want yours now, young man? |
Taylor Hanson: | C'mon! |
(Space Ghost blasts Taylor in the stomach) | |
Taylor Hanson: | Okay, a little lower. Little lower. Little lower. |
Space Ghost: | You don't want it lower. Heh heh. Zorak, take a picture of us. |
(Zorak deflates and falls behind keyboard) | |
Space Ghost: | Oh wait, I want Orlando in the picture! Orlando? Where's Orlando? |
Zorak: | That was fun. Blow me up again! |
Space Ghost: | Orlando! |
Zorak: | Blow me up again! |
Space Ghost: | Orlando! |
Zorak: | C'mon, I like it! |
Space Ghost: | We're waiting! |
Zorak: | Blow me up! Blow me up again! |
Space Ghost: | Don't you want your picture taken with Hanson? |
Zorak: | C'mon! Blow me-- (Space Ghost blasts Zorak again) Aggghh!! |
Space Ghost: | Moltar, where's Orlando? |
Moltar: | Oh, uh, you know what? I made him, but then he was...bad-mouthin'...you all over the set. So I exiled him from the building. |
Space Ghost: | Heads-up thinking, Moltar. Come down here for your reward. |
(Moltar sees Space Ghost ready to blast, then Space Ghost quickly moves hands. Moltar pauses, then walks onto set) | |
Moltar: | You guys, you shouldn't have-- (Space Ghost starts smacking Moltar) |
Space Ghost: | Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! |
Moltar: | Well, I... |
Space Ghost: | Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Where do you get off? |
Moltar: | It wadn't like that. |
Space Ghost: | Oh, I'm just kiddin'. It's just my little way of promoting you! |
Moltar: | Really? |
Space Ghost: | Yep! You're the new vice president of this general area except for my desk! And, uh, take care of your brother while we're gone. |
Moltar: | Where are you goin'? |
Space Ghost: | Where do you think? To get these boys a comb! Come on, Hanson! Let's go camping! |
(Scene transitions to Space Ghost and monitor with Hanson around campfire) | |
Space Ghost: | And his whole head was made of bacon! |
Zachary Hanson: | Oh, man! |
Space Ghost: | (laughing) Oh, that was a good one. Hey, you boys ever hear the story of The Oasis of the Headless Mad Comber of Comb Mountain? |
(A wolf howl) | |
Hanson: | No. |
Space Ghost: | Shh! You hear that? |
(Owl hooting) | |
Space Ghost: | Crickets. (blasts, followed by an off-camera scream) Legend has it you can hear him, (off-camera scream) every night about this time. Sharpening his comb. His pink, plastic comb. Asking his victims, "Part on the right, or the left?" Hooks for feet... |
Taylor Hanson: | No... |
Space Ghost: | Hooks for feet! Eyes made of wood. Combing. Combing. Harder and harder until you were dead! |
Hanson: | (groaning) |
Space Ghost: | Ones say he just disappeared. Others say he's still here. Combing. Combing. Combing! (pulls out comb) Oh no! Oh no! |
(Hanson sits quietly) | |
Space Ghost: | Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom. |
Hanson: | No! No! No! No! |
Space Ghost: | In my apartment. |
Isaac Hanson: | Yes, of course. |
(Transition to Space Ghost's apartment) | |
Space Ghost: | So how's about this for a crib? |
Hanson: | Whoa! (all three praise and bow to Space Ghost) |
Space Ghost: | I like it. Hey look! My show's on! |
(The TV screen shows Space Ghost's set in flames with Zorak running back and forth, quickly replaced by a "Please Stand-By" slate depicting Moltar holding a fire extinguisher) | |
Space Ghost: | We should probably... go back there. |
(Transition to Space Ghost and Hanson in Phantom Cruiser) | |
Space Ghost: | I love driving you boys around. Driving Hanson comes naturally to me. |
Isaac Hanson: | I think "Space Ghost" sounds really kind of cool, you know? |
Taylor Hanson: | You know, this entire show he's been talking about how awesome Space Ghost...you are. |
Isaac Hanson: | I, I'm sucking up. |
Taylor Hanson: | He's just, he's suckin' up. I think... |
Isaac Hanson: | I wanna, I, I wanna, I wanna... |
Space Ghost: | I guess I really ought to be watching where we're going, but I'm not. |
Isaac Hanson: | Do we get a, a cool invisible thing that makes us invisible? |
Zachary Hanson: | Like one of those belts things? |
Space Ghost: | Seatbelts? Those are for nerds. You boys aren't nerds, are ya? 'Cause this ain't the nerd taxi. |
Automated Voice: | Obstruction alert! |
Space Ghost: | Driving is so boring. Let's sing a song. |
Automated Voice: | Collision imminent. |
Isaac Hanson: | You need to be more parental. |
Taylor Hanson: | Parental? |
Isaac Hanson: | Sometimes. |
Taylor Hanson: | No he doesn't. He's Space Ghost. |
Space Ghost: | Yeah, mind your own business, Isaac. |
Isaac Hanson: | Okay. On second thought. |
Zachary Hanson: | What were you thinking, man? |
Space Ghost: | C'mon, get us rolling. |
(Hanson starts singing) | |
Hanson: | A boom boom boom boom Space Ghost! A boom boom boom boom MOLTAR! A boom boom boom boom ZORAK! A boom boom boom boom SPACE GHOST! |
Space Ghost: | Hanson! |
Hanson: | A boom boom boom boom SPACE GHOST! |
Space Ghost: | SPACE GHOST! |
Hanson: | A boom boom boom boom MOLTAR! |
Space Ghost: | SPACE GHOST! |
Hanson: | A boom boom... |
Space Ghost: | SPACE GHOST! |
Taylor Hanson: | Agh, that's a horrible song! |
Space Ghost: | Keep singing! |
Hanson: | A boom boom boom boom MOLTAR! |
Space Ghost: | MOLTAR! |
Hanson: | A boom boom boom boom ZORAK! |
Space Ghost: | ZORAK! A boom boom boom boom WATCH OUT! |
(The cruiser collides with an old lady wielding a wand) | |
Hanson: | Whoa!!! |
Taylor Hanson: | Oh, God! |
Space Ghost: | Aggghhh!!!!! |
(Cruiser catches fire as Space Ghost and Hanson are thrown into space) | |
Space Ghost: | Well, that's upsetting. |
Taylor Hanson: | This is not good, okay. |
Space Ghost: | You boys have to go. |
Isaac Hanson: | Be careful. That, that's a dangerous weapon that you have on there. |
Space Ghost: | You saw me hit that old lady. And I can't have this on my record. |
Isaac Hanson: | Oh, bad idea. |
Taylor Hanson: | How about we just run and you can... |
Isaac Hanson: | We'll, we'll, we'll teleport out of here. |
Space Ghost: | We're not running anywhere, Taylor. |
Taylor Hanson: | What are you trying to say? |
Space Ghost: | What I'm trying to say is, "A boom boom boom boom GOOD-BYE!" |
(Space Ghost blasts Hanson) | |
Hanson: | Aggh!!! Good-bye world! |
(Space Ghost arrives back on set) | |
Space Ghost: | Hey, what happened to the-? |
Moltar: | It's out. |
Space Ghost: | What about-? |
Moltar: | It's fixed. |
Space Ghost: | Eh, good. Good. |
Moltar: | Where's Hanson? |
Space Ghost: | Eh, how should I know? |
Moltar: | Well, you had 'em! |
Space Ghost: | Oh! Han-son! Yeah, we got that comb! |
Moltar: | Yeah? And? |
Space Ghost: | Oh, and, uh, then I took 'em home to be with their dad. |
Moltar: | Then why is he on the phone looking for 'em? At his house? |
Space Ghost: | Hang up. |
(Phone hangs up, then rings again) | |
Moltar: | It's Daddy! |
Space Ghost: | Moltar, how can I talk to Mr. Hanson after I just mowed down the Tooth Fairy? |
Moltar: | Why would he care? He don't even know the Tooth Fairy! |
Space Ghost: | Maybe because I hurled his sons into space to dispose of them because they were witnesses? Ya think he might care about that, Moltar? Do ya? |
Moltar: | You sure she's dead? |
Space Ghost: | Uh, yeah. |
Moltar: | Can never tell. |
Space Ghost: | She was on fire, Moltar. You know, fire? |
(Space Ghost has giant bags of human teeth in front of his desk) | |
Zorak: | Hey, are those your teeth? |
Space Ghost: | They are now. |
Zorak: | Gimme those teeth! |
Space Ghost: | Why? |
Zorak: | So I can get into clubs. |
Space Ghost: | You don't go to clubs. |
Zorak: | Because I don't have any teeth! |
(Santa descends from the ceiling) | |
Santa: | Ho ho ho ho ho ho! |
Moltar: | It's Santa! |
Santa: | Christmas isn't about getting into clubs, Zorak! |
Moltar: | Hi Santa!! Didja get my letter? |
Santa: | Space Ghost! You've destroyed the Tooth Fairy. |
Space Ghost: | Nuh-uh! |
Santa: | I know when you've been bad and good, and you've been very good! I've been trying to kill her myself for years! Ho ho ho ho ho ho!! |
Moltar: | But why, Santa? Why? |
Santa: | So that I could be the Tooth Fairy, Moltar. Then Santa could use all the little children's teeth to make bizarre and twisted toys for Santa's own amusement! Ho ho ho ho ho!!! |
Space Ghost: | (thinking to himself) That doesn't sound like the Santa I know. |
Santa: | (in evil voice) Because I'm not the Santa you know! I'm Bizarro Santa! From the Electroid Dimension! |
(Santa transforms into a freakishly evil creature. Meanwhile, the Tooth Fairy appears) | |
Moltar: | Hey! The Tooth Fairy! |
Space Ghost: | Agh! Zombie! |
Moltar: | All right! |
Space Ghost: | Hey, I mowed you over! |
Tooth Fairy: | No, Space Ghost. You destroyed a robot built to look like me. |
Bizarro Santa: | Okay. |
Tooth Fairy: | Bizarro Santa has been trying to kill me for years. |
Bizarro Santa: | Ho ho ho-oh Tannebaum! You gonna believe that fairy tale? Trust in me. I'm the good one. |
Tooth Fairy: | No, Space Ghost! I'm the good one! |
Bizarro Santa: | Ho ho ho! Silence! (Bizarro Santa throws the Tooth Fairy across the set with his tail) |
Space Ghost: | Oh no! |
(Zorak hops across the set toward the bags of teeth) | |
Bizarro Santa: | Ho ho ho! Give me the teeth! |
Tooth Fairy: | But I paid for them! |
Bizarro Santa: | I have plans for those teeth! |
Zorak: | Lemme just grab a handful. |
Tooth Fairy: | They belong to me! |
Zorak: | For the clubs! |
Bizarro Santa: | You'll never get into a club! |
Zorak: | What if I have a date? |
(The Tooth Fairy zaps the teeth and carries them off) | |
Zorak: | Gimme those teeth! |
(Zorak, the Tooth Fairy and Bizarro Santa all float around the set, shouting incoherently at each other) | |
Space Ghost: | All right, everybody! Just hold on a second! |
(All are silent) | |
Space Ghost: | What happened? |
(Credits roll. Under credits we hear:) | |
Italian-Speaking Space Ghost: | (speaking Italian) |
Space Ghost: | Take a hike, Louie. |
Italian-Speaking Space Ghost: | Ah, Space Ghost, why you sit there with the power bands... you try to make me mad? Why can't you just be nice? |
Space Ghost: | Hey look! There's Frank Sinatra! |
Italian-Speaking Space Ghost: | Soon, Space Ghost, we will go to war. |
Space Ghost: | Okey-doke. Bye now. |
(Italian Space Ghost mumbling) | |
Zorak: | No, no! It's gotta be heated! Heat it up! |
GUEST STARS Isaac Hanson Taylor Hanson Zachary Hanson |
WRITTEN BY Matt Harrigan Matt Maiellaro Pete Smith Dave Willis |
PRODUCED BY Michael Cahill Jim Fortier Matt Maiellaro Pete Smith Dave Willis |
OFFLINE EDIT Michael Cahill |
ONLINE EDIT Myron Vazquez |
VOICES George Lowe C. Martin Croker Amy Handler Dave Willis |
PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Bonnie Rosmarin |
PRODUCTION MANAGER Vishal Roney |
TALENT COORDINATOR Nina Bishop |
RE-RECORDING MIXER Roy Clements |
NEW ANIMATION C. Martin Croker Andrew Edwards Ward Jenkins |
PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Anne Susan Brown Maya McClure Natali Tesche-Ricciardi |
INTERNS Catherine Guthrie Henry Harmon III Ava Jamshidi Nick Ingkatanuwat |
SPACE GHOST'S MALE SECRETARY Nathan Cook |
HEAD WRITER Matt Maiellaro |
SUPERVISING PRODUCER Michael Cahill |
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Keith Crofford Mike Lazzo |
© 1999 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
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