Home | Ghost Planet Central | Episode Guide | Previous | Next

Title:Whipping Post
Original Air Date:November 22, 2003
Guest Star:Dennis Miller
Synopsis:Space Ghost is very angry! Brak wants a bath. Zorak loses his head. Robot babies replace other babies. Everyone knows what happens next.
Trivia:Special thanks to Jeremiah Henley (Yousorrymon) for his work on this transcript.

Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed

(Opening theme and titles)

(Space Ghost invisos in)

Space Ghost: Let's get one thing straight. I'm angry!

Moltar: (In the control room) Uh, what about?

Space Ghost: What about? About everything.

Moltar: Uh, like what?

Space Ghost: Like... goats.

Zorak: (In his keyboard pod, turns and looks at SG)

Space Ghost: Stupid goats with their stupid little beards. Goats are stupid! The floor is stupid!

Moltar: What about me? Stupid?

Space Ghost: Mmmm, I don't know, say something.

Moltar: Uh, the guest is here? (throws lever back and forth, the studio monitor lowers with Dennis)

Space Ghost: The guest is stupid.

Dennis Miller: Thank you for having me, Ghost.

Space Ghost: It's great to have you here. (Turns to Zorak) Isn't it, stupid?

(Dramatic music plays; Zorak reaches into his keyboard pod and takes out a blast rifle. Space Ghost stares and aims his power bands. The camera alternates between Space Ghost and Zorak as they stare at each other. Finally, Zorak puts the rifle down, and the music stops.)

Space Ghost: (Lowers his power band arm) Stupid Zorak!

Dennis Miller: Which one is Zorak? Tom Servo, or...

Space Ghost: Say what, ass(BLEEP)

Dennis Miller: Oh wait, I've crossed...

Zorak: Arliss

Space Ghost: What's that now?

Dennis Miller: (laughs) I've crossed genres here.

Zorak: Now there's a show!

Dennis Miller: I like the shop you run over here, Space Ghost. I like the boys you surround yourself with...

Space Ghost: That pisses me off. Look, I do what I want, do I make myself clear?

Dennis Miller: Mmm hmm, well, I...

Space Ghost: (aims his power bands at Dennis) DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!? (dramatic music plays again)

Dennis Miller: Sorry. (Laughs) Already I've blown it. Oftimes when I meet people I admire, you know how you kind of put your foot in the mouth right off the bat.

Space Ghost: Oftimes when I meet people who are retired I put my foot in their mouth and I say, "Welcome to Venice. This will be your last meal!"

Zorak: And what do they say?

Space Ghost: (stretches) "Spaaaaace Ghooooost!" Man, am I angry. I'd better go blow off some steam before I explode on some fool. Aaaaaah!

(SG flies from his desk, still yelling. The Phantom Cruiser streaks through space, with SG continues yelling as he pilots the ship. Next, SG is in the Ghost Planet mailroom)

Space Ghost: Aaaaaah! Hello, a book of postcard stamps, if you please. (shrugs) Aaaaah!

(The Phantom Cruiser returns, with SG still yelling as he pilots the ship. He flies back to the set, and crashes on the floor.)

Space Ghost: (stops yelling, makes a small hiccup) Oh, good. Every time I do something like that, I give myself the hiccups.

Zorak: You sure are angry tonight.

Space Ghost: That's right, Zorak.

Zorak: You know, I like this new side of you. I think it's boss.

Space Ghost: Ah! Then you're gonna love this. (Aims his powerbands at Zorak and blasts him)

Zorak: (flails back and form, making gibbering noises, but is not crisped)

Space Ghost: (stops blasting) I'm sorry, what? (resumes blasting Zorak)

Zorak: (flails and gibbers some more, until SG stops blasting)

Dennis Miller: So, uh, I'm a big fan of Zorak, it's a hard thing to serve a great man like you.

Space Ghost: Hmm.

Dennis Miller: And oftimes this man (points toward Zorak) is of more consequence than the man (points at Space Ghost) who carries the torch.

Space Ghost: If you like green babies.

Zorak: Arliss...

Space Ghost: (Looks at Zorak)

Zorak: (takes sideways glance toward camera)

Space Ghost: (to Dennis) Say something.

Dennis Miller: Well, I have two sons, 9 and 13...

Space Ghost: Sons are the same as kids, right?

Dennis Miller: Exactly.

Space Ghost: And kids are just dumb little adults.

Dennis Miller: You don't have any kids, do you, Space Ghost? (laughs)

Space Ghost: Yeah, I have two sons. Fifi and Pierre. I shave their butts out of anger. (pounds his desk) And they hate me for it. (Hums into his palm) That's the shaving noise. Want to give a shout out to your two sons?

Dennis Miller: Marlon, Holden! (Shakes his fist forward in the air) With the Ghost!

Space Ghost: (holding up his hand) Fifi, Pierre! Get off the couch! (Beat) It is clear they're poodles, right?

Zorak: (whispering) Arliss!

Space Ghost: Everyone's talkin' about me, Dennis. We've become a nation of people talking about Space Ghost.

Dennis Miller: Weren't you doin' it with that Herculoid blob for a while?

Space Ghost: Gloop?

Dennis Miller: Yes.

Space Ghost: Sure was.

Dennis Miller: (laughs)

Space Ghost: It was good too.

Dennis Miller: (laughing) Exactly.

Space Ghost: (Stretching) Spaaaaace (BLEEP) F(BLEEP) catch (BLEEP) gonzale.

Zorak: (blinks and stares)

Space Ghost: I should be on HBO. What's their problem?

Dennis Miller: HBO has no problem, you know you're doing this merely as an audition to get on their, Ghost. That's where it's all happening. All the creativity, you're saddled over here at the Cartoon Network. You know there are certain things you can't say.

Space Ghost: Who are you again?

Dennis Miller: My name is Dennis Miller, I'm a comedian and a fan of Space Ghost.

Space Ghost: (looks at a blue card) And you've come here from the future to kill me! (puts card down) Right?

Dennis Miller: (laughs, wiping a tear from his eye) Wow, I know that's my MO. (laughs)

Space Ghost: Dennis, you've played a number of cops. Tell us how you became to be Robocop. The ultimate cop! (does a powerband move)

Dennis Miller: Well, listen, I had done a one-man show as Peter Weller called "Give 'em Hell, Peter" for years, off-Broadway.

Space Ghost: Hang on, Peter. I'm way too angry to check out each off-Broadway production of Robocop. I'll wait until it's on-way.

Dennis Miller: (looks perplexed, shakes his head)

Space Ghost: Broadway?

Dennis Miller: Could not be further out of the loop.

Zorak: Hey, Arliss! Ah, made you look!

Brak: (yelling in the distance, everyone looks up. Suddenly he falls from above, and lands on his head and falls down.

Space Ghost: What the ...!

Dennis Miller: (laughs out loud)

Brak: (lying on the floor) (makes gibbering noise) That's fun.

Space Ghost: Oh great.

Brak: Hi, my name is Brak!

Space Ghost: The low quality of your name makes me very angry!

Brak: Yeah, well I have a big dent in my hinder. Ouch!

Dennis Miller: Nice to see you... Brak.

Brak: Oh.. that hurt. Zorak, will you give me a bath?

Zorak: No bath here. So screw!

Brak: Come on, I'm dirty! Look at this dirty boy! (Continues talking in background) Hey, smell my armpits! Oh boy! Come on! It's Saturday! I need my bath!

Dennis Miller: Brak is the one who stops in periodically.

Space Ghost: Thats right, Dennis.

Dennis Miller: He makes the, uh, cameo. Like Hitchcock, periodically you'll see him walking through the background.

Space Ghost: Hitchcock's the worst director ever. Did you see "Rear Window"? It's all black and white and there are no adult situations. You know it was just made to sell toys, which you can't find anywhere!

Brak: Here's one! (laughs)

Space Ghost: Give it here!

Brak: (walks to SG's desk, humming a song) Look at this. It's got a camera.

Space Ghost: I hate this and all toys!

Brak: Look out!

(Space Ghost slams the toy with his fist, destroying it)

Moltar: Hey Space Ghost, how come you're so angry?

Space Ghost: What?

Moltar: You need to mellow.

Zorak: Yeah, mellow out, friend.

Space Ghost: Don't tell me to mellow out! That'll just make me angrier!

Zorak: You want to mellow.

Moltar: Mellow.

Zorak: Mellow.

Moltar: Mellow.

Zorak: Mellow.

Moltar: Feel better?

Space Ghost: Knock it off!

Brak: I want my bath!

Moltar: Space Ghost is like Mr. Angry today!

Space Ghost: No! Zorak's Mr. Angry!

Brak: Hey! I wanna be somebody.

Zorak: Oh ho! Zorak is Mr. Relaxed.

Space Ghost: Are you relaxed enough to fight?

Zorak: You know, I think I am. (Dramatic music in background)

Brak: I'm Mr. Clean! (humming something)

Space Ghost: Perhaps you should consider going somewhere!

Zorak: Where would I go?

Space Ghost: Somewhere I'm not!

Brak: I'm Mr. Mustard!

Space Ghost: (walks to the bandstand) Like here!

Zorak: Eh! And here you are.

Space Ghost: Now then, where would you like to go?

Zorak: I think, I'd like, to come over there! (Walks over to SG's desk)

Brak: I'm Mr. Pat Sajak!

Space Ghost: Wait, I thought I was coming over there.

Zorak: Oh brother.

Space Ghost: I meant to anyway. Now come on! (Confronts Zorak, sitting in his desk)

Zorak: Alright, alright, just relax.

Space Ghost: I am relaxed!

Zorak: Relaxed enough to fight?

(Zorak punches Space Ghost)

Space Ghost: Ah! Son of a-

(Space Ghost and Zorak fight lamely, accompanied by "fight" music. Zorak finally lands one punch, and Space Ghost counters by punching Zorak's head off. His head bounces and comes to rest at the bandstand.)

Zorak: It didn't hurt.

Brak: Can I get my bath now?

Space Ghost: Yeah, come here, I'll give you a bath.

Brak: Yeah boy! (Walks over to Space Ghost, laughing)

(More dramatic music; Space Ghost picks up Brak)

Brak: Don't put me down!

(Space Ghost throws him across the set; he lands next to Zorak's head)

Brak: Ouch!

Space Ghost: Moltar, would you like a bath? (flies from his desk)

Moltar: Um... I already took one actually.

Space Ghost: (in the control room) TAKE ANOTHER ONE!

(Space Ghost punches Moltar; he flies off camera, amid the sound of falling down stairs and glass breaking)

Space Ghost: (to Dennis, in Moltar's monitor) What about you? Do you need a bath?

Dennis Miller: No I don't, Ghost.

Space Ghost: (invisos back to desk) Undress me with your eyes, Dennis.

Dennis Miller: (laughing) Okay. I just undressed you, and quickly redressed you.

Space Ghost: (listening to the director via his communicator) What's that now, Tom? Oh. Tom's gotta switch tape and I'm going to run down the hall and take a quick wizz.

Zorak: Please do.

Space Ghost: You sit comfortably.

Dennis Miller: Zorak, you seem to have, uh, slim shoulders there. (Zorak plays his keyboard, headless) To think, the most eclectic day of my show business career, that I spoke at Bob Hope's 100th birthday, and I had to sprint over to do Space Ghost.

(Moltar is back at his monitor; he, Brak, Zorak and Dennis all laugh)

Space Ghost: Hey I'm back.

(Zorak stops playing; everyone is silent)

Space Ghost: (taps his blue card) I'm back from the hallway. (Taps his card once) Hey, have you heard my famous story? (Zorak's body descends into his keyboard pod) It starts in a couple of minutes. Beat. A long beat.

Dennis Miller: Come on. What, do you need an edit point, Space Ghost?

Space Ghost: (Dramatic music in background, black and white cartoon montage from old Space Ghost cartoon plays behind him as he speaks.) The race war had begun. Machines were building robot babies to replace other babies. Everyone knows what happened next. The End. (Music and montage end)

Dennis Miller: (laughs) Real ???

Space Ghost: Written by Space Ghost. (More dramatic music as he reads the "credits") Robots by ILM... and Space Ghost. George Lucas by Space Ghost. (He scribbles on his card) House lights up, people leave theatre. Trash everywhere. Zorak, clean up the trash while I go rethread the projector. Later, Dennis.

Zorak: Eh.

(Credits roll)

Brak: Oh no!

Dennis Miller
Matt Harrigan
Jim Fortier
Matt Maiellaro
Pete Smith
Dave Willis
Dave Hughes
Sonny Sharrock
Eddie Horst
Sonny Sharrock
Lance Carter
Eddie Horst
Alfrieda Gerald
George Lowe
C. Martin Croker
Andy Merrill
Big Deal Cartoons
C. Martin Croker
Dave Hughes
Jon Schnepp
Dave Hughes
Steve Jaworski
Pound O Sound, Inc.
J.C. Richardson
Roy Clements
Vishal Roney
Kim Manning
Scott Perkins
Elan Church
Nicholas Ingkatanuwat
Eddie Feldmann
Cartoon Network Studios
Brian Miller
Antonio Gonella
CNN Los Angeles
Dave Dubiel
King Robot Productions
Digital Zeppelin
Ken Thornton
Samantha Pirtle
Tom Roche (inverted)
Alex Toth
Matt Harrigan
Keith Crofford
Mike Lazzo

© 2003 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.

Home | Ghost Planet Central | Episode Guide | Previous | Next