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Title: | Idlewild South |
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Original Air Date: | December 13, 2003 |
Guest Star: | Jeff Probst |
Trivia: | Special thanks to Craig Clark for providing this transcript. |
Choose a format: Regular Table Indented Condensed
(Opening theme and titles. While pulling back from window, the camera tilts down to focus on chair.) | |
(Space Ghost invisos in, the camera focused on his crotch while the end of the theme song repeats on a loop.) | |
Space Ghost: | Err, Moltar? (waves out of frame) Moltar? (loop increases in speed and pitch) Hey! Dummy! |
(In control room, Moltar and Zorak are smoking joints and drinking tallboys. The room is filled with smoke. Crumpled cans are scattered on the floor, along with an ashtray and a boom box.) | |
(Moltar looks at the screen and laughs.) | |
Zorak: | Ahhhhh, this is sweet. |
Space Ghost: | (invisos into control room) What's going on in here? |
Moltar: | We're drinking, so what? |
Zorak: | Yeah, what's it to ya? |
Moltar: | Care for a tallboy? |
Space Ghost: | Moltar-- |
Moltar: | What are you going to do, spank us? |
Zorak: | You ain't our dad. |
Space Ghost: | (kicks boom box out of shot, silencing it) Moltar, are you aware of the health risks caused by tallboys? |
Moltar: | (burps) Uhh, yeah, but (with emphasis) it makes you feel like a cowboy! (drinks) |
Space Ghost: | It does? |
(Long beat. Eerie music as Space Ghost holds up a tallboy.) | |
(Set. Space Ghost is riding the monitor like a bronco to the accompaniment of fiddle music. Crumpled cans litter the studio floor. Space Ghost laughs and carries on like he's in "Urban Cowboy." After a while the monitor stops bucking and Space Ghost leaps off, landing behind desk.) | |
Space Ghost: | Woo! (stands back up, beat) Surfboard! (leaps on top of desk, makes surf noises with his mouth) |
(Control room. The floor is clean now, but there is a lot more smoke. A psychedelic Carrot Top poster is on the wall.) | |
Zorak: | He's gonna hurt himself. Probably fatally. |
(They both laugh.) (Set. Space Ghost's surfing session winds down. He looks behind him at monitor, which shows static.) | |
Space Ghost: | Shark! (flies offscreen to drum set, where he hits bass drum a few times) Eh heh heh. (hits cymbal) |
(Space Ghost at drum set. With his hands he does Christy's drum fill on toms, ending with snare and cymbal.) | |
Space Ghost: | (holds up tallboy) Good stuff. |
(Zorak walks over, Space Ghost hits him in the beak with empty can and Zorak grunts. Space Ghost laughs.) | |
Zorak: | I think you've had enough. |
(Space Ghost hits Zorak in the beak with another empty can.) | |
Space Ghost: | What do you think of that? |
Zorak: | I think I don't care. |
Space Ghost: | You'll care about this. |
Zorak: | Care about what? |
(Grunting, Space Ghost tackles Zorak and pins him to the floor, then forcibly kisses him.) | |
Space Ghost: | That you are now my girlfriend and we are going out twelve times. |
Zorak: | Wha--? |
(Space Ghost stands up and walks away, laughing.) | |
(Wide shot of desk and monitor, which has a can on top of it. Jeff Probst is also on monitor, waiting. Space Ghost walks into shot and stops in front of desk.) | |
(Jeff Probst sighs.) | |
(Space Ghost abruptly walks off, kicking cans as he goes.) | |
Space Ghost: | (disoriented) Tall ice cream? |
(Control room. Moltar is in there alone. Jeff is on monitor, which also has a game of pong going on. Reggae music plays. Space Ghost walks in.) | |
Space Ghost: | Moltar! |
Moltar: | What? |
(Space Ghost kicks him in the shin and runs off giggling. Moltar expels smoke from his helmet and watches him go.) | |
(Set. Space Ghost runs back on, kicking cans.) | |
Space Ghost: | (to Jeff) You seen my drink? (Jeff stares at him) You better not have drank it. |
(Control room. Moltar is at the console. Reggae music still plays. Space Ghost's head pops up in monitor.) | |
Space Ghost: | Moltar! |
Moltar: | (annoyed) What? |
Space Ghost: | You seen my drink? |
Moltar: | Duh-- Maybe you should drink some water. |
Space Ghost: | (angry) You drink some water with your ass! |
(Disgusted, Moltar pulls this lever. We see a quick flash of Carl the Cartoonist and kids from "Story Book" looking at camera. Moltar recoils.) | |
Moltar: | Bah! |
(Set. It is empty save for Jeff on monitor. Hammering is heard, along with some growling. The lights dim briefly. A power saw is plugged in and turned on.) | |
(Jeff waits patiently.) | |
(The lights dim again, followed by more hammering. After a beat, Space Ghost falls in through the ceiling. Jeff watches him fall.) | |
Space Ghost: | Woo hoo! |
(Zorak stares at Jeff from his keyboard pod. A large joint is in his hand.) | |
(Empty shot of desk. Space Ghost drinks a can of beer behind it, sighs and rises into view, tallboy in hand.) | |
Space Ghost: | Woo! Great party. (looks at Zorak) Great party, man. |
Zorak: | (stares back, croaks) Tool. (coughs, looks away) |
(Space Ghost stares at Zorak. Beat.) | |
Jeff Probst: | (nods) Good to be on, Space Ghost. |
(Space Ghost looks at him.) | |
Zorak: | (offscreen) Space Tool. |
(Space Ghost looks back at Zorak.) | |
Jeff Probst: | Uhh, I am Jeff Probst, of... |
(Space Ghost looks at him.) | |
Jeff Probst: | I host a show called "Survivor." |
Space Ghost: | May I call you Barb? |
Jeff Probst: | Barb? As a person? |
Space Ghost: | (crouching behind desk, low voice) Shh, be quiet. (sound of glass tinkling) What was that? (sound of a low growl) |
(Zorak turns head to stare at Space Ghost.) | |
(Space Ghost looks up, listens to growling.) | |
Jeff Probst: | Have you seen the show "Survivor," Space Ghost? |
Space Ghost: | Uhh, yeah. A bunch of guys killin' each other. |
Jeff Probst: | Well, it's a mixture of guys and girls. |
Space Ghost: | (sitting up) Dancin' around, killin' each other. |
(He throws a can at monitor, hears more growling. Then he stands up with shotgun and fires randomly seven times into the ceiling. Growl in distance.) | |
Zorak: | Hey, now we be trippin'. |
(Space Ghost is seated with shotgun at the ready. Low growl.) | |
Jeff Probst: | You run a real loose ship. |
(Space Ghost rises and shoots four times into ceiling. The bear from "Kentucky Nightmare" falls to floor. Space Ghost shoots it three times, point blank, killing it. Beat.) | |
(Heavenly music plays as the ghost of the bear rises from the carcass.) | |
Zorak: | (offscreen) Trippin', I tells ya! |
(Bear's ghost ascends out of frame.) | |
Space Ghost: | What do you think of that? |
Jeff Probst: | (laughs, nodding) That's neat! Kind of like Vegas. |
Space Ghost: | I love you, guest. That's what's neat. |
(Space Ghost has lost the shotgun and is holding out his arms, ready for a hug.) | |
Space Ghost: | (blinks) Come here. (blinks) |
Jeff Probst: | Space Ghost, I'm as close to you right now as I want to be. |
(Space Ghost rises. Beat.) | |
Space Ghost: | Worm! |
(Shot of blue curtain. Space Ghost does the worm from left to right, grunting the whole way.) | |
Jeff Probst: | Yeah, that's neat. |
(Space Ghost does the worm back from right to left, then collapses at the center of frame, exhausted. He lifts his head up and burps.) | |
Jeff Probst: | Wow! |
(Space Ghost burps longer.) | |
(Jeff smiles.) | |
(Space Ghost burps an extra long time, then forces out one more.) | |
Jeff Probst: | (laughs) That is impressive! Oh, my gosh! |
(Space Ghost runs back behind desk.) | |
Jeff Probst: | You probably do okay with the ladies! |
Space Ghost: | Oh, hell yeah! Robot! (does robot, making robot noises for about 15 seconds) |
Jeff Probst: | Yeah, you would have been great in a fraternity. |
(Space Ghost gets stuck doing one robot motion repeatedly.) | |
Jeff Probst: | Is anybody actually monitoring this show? |
(Control room. It's hard to see through all of the smoke. Space Ghost continues doing the robot in the monitor. The reggae music still plays. Moltar takes a sip of his tallboy and the lets out a loud fart.) | |
Moltar: | (looks at camera) Oh, pardon me! (laughs, looks away) Don't come in here. (takes another sip) |
(Set.) | |
Jeff Probst: | I mean, I know you have a (makes quotes with fingers) "director." Is he actually... |
(Space Ghost shakes up a can of beer.) | |
Jeff Probst: | Does he do anything or does--? |
Space Ghost: | Shut up, little man! (sprays monitor with foam) Dah! You have a drinking problem, don't I? (flies into ceiling) Woo! (falls down onto desk and then onto floor, knocking himself out) |
(Jeff looks down at him and nods. Space Ghost begins to snore.) | |
Jeff Probst: | Hmm. |
(Space Ghost snores loudly with his mouth open, occasionally coughing. Zorak springs into shot with a Council of Doom flag on a long pole. The flag is blue with a white skull over the letters "CD," which are in green. He plants the flagpole in Space Ghost's butt. Space Ghost flinches, but doesn't wake up. He coughs. Zorak lights a match and sets Space Ghost on fire.) | |
Space Ghost: | (still sleeping) Mmello? |
Zorak: | Heh. He is f(BLEEP)ed up. |
Jeff Probst: | (nodding) That's what it is! |
(Zorak starts to urinate on Space Ghost to put him out.) | |
Jeff Probst: | I knew there was something when I-- You know, when I first saw him that just didn't sit right. |
(Space Ghost is put out, his suit and face besooted. He snores briefly, then opens his eyes, coughing as Zorak sprays him one last time. Space Ghost lifts his head.) | |
Space Ghost: | You real, Probst? |
Jeff Probst: | I am real. |
Space Ghost: | Me? |
Jeff Probst: | (nodding) You're real. You guys are real. |
Space Ghost: | Oh, good. I love you. |
Jeff Probst: | Umm... |
Space Ghost: | Seriously. |
(Jeff laughs nervously.) | |
Space Ghost: | Seriously, I love you. |
Jeff Probst: | (beat) I love you, too. |
(Space Ghost throws a can at monitor.) | |
Space Ghost: | Shut up, little man. It'll never-- (vomits spray of green liquid) --Work. (vomits again, collapses to floor) |
Jeff Probst: | Space Ghost, are you all right? |
(Space Ghost lifts his head and vomits again.) | |
Space Ghost: | Uhh, I think I'm going to be sick. (lowers head and grunts, then looks up again) Hey, you want some wings? |
Jeff Probst: | (shaking head) I'm not interested. |
Space Ghost: | I'll go get 'em. I can drive. |
(Shot of Phantom Cruiser doing a loop-de-loop in the air.) | |
Space Ghost: | (offscreen) Woo's a great party! |
(Phantom Cruiser crashes into mountain with big explosion.) | |
(Black. After a long beat, mournful music plays.) | |
(Fade in on Phantom Cruiser impaled on a jagged rock. Space Ghost has been thrown from the cockpit and is lying on the ground. His right arm is detached and is a few feet from his body, his left leg is bent backwards at the knee. Zorak's flag is still sticking out of his butt. Zoom in.) | |
(Space Ghost's ghost rises from his carcass, shaking its head. It rises out of frame, the ghost flag still planted in its butt.) | |
(Blue sky and clouds. Space Ghost's ghost rises into frame.) | |
Space Ghost: | Great party. |
(Similar shot. Space Ghost's ghost rises into frame.) | |
Space Ghost: | Great party, man! |
(Music stops as Space Ghost's ghost comes to rest of top of a cloud. Space Ghost looks around.) | |
(Bear walks up to him on cloud.) | |
Space Ghost: | This is a great-- |
(Bear pulls shotgun and shoots Space Ghost out of frame.) | |
(Credits roll) | |
Space Ghost: | You want hot or mild? We'll get half and half. |
Idlewild South |
GUEST STAR Jeff Probst |
WRITTEN BY Matt Harrigan |
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jim Fortier Matt Maiellaro Pete Smith Dave Willis |
EDITORS Jim Miley Dave Hughes |
MUSIC Sonny Sharrock Eddie Horst Melt-Banana |
MUSICIANS Sonny Sharrock Lance Carter Eddie Horst Alfrieda Gerald |
VOICES George Lowe C. Martin Croker Andy Merrill |
DESIGN COMPANY Big Deal Cartoons |
ANIMATION DIRECTOR C. Martin Croker |
ONLINE CONFORM Tom Roche (inverted) |
DIGITAL EFFECTS Dave Hughes Steve Jaworski |
AUDIO POST PRODUCTION Pound O Sound, Inc. J.C. Richardson Roy Clements |
LINE PRODUCER Vishal Roney |
PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Kim Manning |
SPECIAL GUEST Scott Perkins |
PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Elan Church Nicholas Ingkatanuwat |
INTERN Ted Murphy |
SPECIAL THANKS Cartoon Network Studios Brian Miller Antonio Gonella CNN Los Angeles Dave Dubiel Digital Zeppelin Ken Thornton Samantha Pirtle Ellen Jaworski Yako Onuki Crawford Communications |
ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN Alex Toth |
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Matt Harrigan |
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Keith Crofford Mike Lazzo |
© 2003 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
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